You Can’t Go Back Part 1: Gotta Cut Loose
She cancelled plans again, which is fine but it meant that for the third night in a row I had no plans. After organizing my dresser, packing my car for Monster Mania this weekend and picking out the best horror shirts to wear to the con I realized it was only 9pm and boredom had settled in.
I decided to do something I haven’t done since High School; I got into my car, cranked the radio and drove aimlessly for a few hours.
The playlist was packed with songs from my past. I was pulling away from the Wawa gas pump while Spacehog sang about their love for ‘the all the all of you’ and started to drive. After an hour sitting silently listening to songs of years past I started to head back home when a sign caught my eye.
My high school was doing a production of Footloose this weekend and tonight was opening night. It was well past 10pm and there were no cars left in the parking lot. Missing the show did not stop me from pulling into the vacant parking lot, picking a nice spot out of view and turning off the car. At first I just stared into the empty field. I don’t know what compelled me to, but I got out of the car and started walking around reminiscing.
When I was in high school I did stage crew for three of the four years. Each year I had different memories and it’s impossible to pick which show was my favorite. My freshmen year we did Anything Goes. It gave me my first taste of classic musicals and started my love of theater. The songs from Anything Goes are still among my favorites and it saddens me that there has yet to be a good film version of this Cole Porter classic.
My Junior year we did Little Shop of Horrors. This was also a blast. Little shop was one of my favorite films ever, I owned the soundtrack and had it memorized. Even better I had a small bit part playing the masochist dentist patient role that Bill Murray made famous (Jack Nicholson played the character in the 1960 original), but I never had more fun than my sophomore year doing Footloose.
There was something special about that specific show that I can’t put my finger on. The whole cast and crew became close friends. The stage crew was the best team we ever had. I remember us spending hours mixing paints in order to create authentic looking aged church pews or believable stain glass windows. One night a few of the the more scientific crew members used bunsen burners and florescent glass to bend and mold a working Burger Joint sign.
That was also the only year that I attended the post-show after party – mostly because I had a massive crush on one of the background dancers. She was a cute girl named Julie who as far as I can remember never said a word to me. The final first act song is I’m Free (originally performed by Kenny Loggins) and it was a one of the bigger dance numbers in the play. From my position backstage I could see Julie dancing perfectly. It’s weird how I still remember exactly how most of the dance steps went despite not actually being on stage doing the dance.
It was around this time I downloaded the song on Napster (or maybe by now things had shifted to Limewire). I remember hating it for no other reason than it didn’t sound EXACTLY like the way our drama club performed it. I remember thinking that Sun Valley’s Drama Club’s 2002 performance of “I’m Free” was the greatest version of that song the world has ever heard (I found a VHS tape of the show recently… it in fact… was not the greatest version the world had ever heard). Over time I grew to appreciate Kenny Loggins’ version as it always reminded me of that period in my life.
I didn’t watch Footloose until I moved to L.A. a few years ago. Prior to that I guess I just had no interest in it. Much like how I convinced myself that no version of “I’m Free” would be better than my high school’s version I think I feared that watching the movie would tarnish the memories of that high school performance. I probably would have never watched it if it wasn’t for my roommate in L.A. being freakishly obsessed with the movie.
My roommate was not exactly the most optimistic person in the world and few would have described him with adjectives like bubbly. One thing he fucking LOVED to do however was dance; and it all stemmed from seeing Footloose as a child. He could not wrap his brain around the idea that I had never seen the movie and made me watch it. I’m glad he did because it really is a pretty great movie.
Eventually I purchased the Footloose soundtrack from a used CD store and was reminded how much I love the song I’m Free and the all memories it provided me from the second I heard the opening notes. Each time the song plays I’m immediately reminded of that 15 year old convinced that a 17-year old dancer would fall head over heels for the geeky stage crew kid who admired her from a distance. I wish I could say my romantic life has advanced over the last decade but alas I still find myself being that guy in the shadows, admiring someone while listening to the songs that remind me of them. This is why at 11pm on a Thursday night I’m walking around the exterior of my old high school listening to Kenny Loggins.
My school had a wonderful track. Many gym classes were spent running that track (or in my case, slowly walking it while discussing music with classmates). I also vividly remember running the track late at night with my dad, but it probably wasn’t as late as memory is making me think. I had hoped I could walk out on the track and just enjoy the nostalgia but the entire field is surrounded by tall fence with no way to enter outside the regulated hours.
In 2004, there was no place I’d want to avoid more than my school’s track. Now in 2017, I’m disappointedly walking back to my car because I couldn’t walk it. Life is funny sometimes.
Tomorrow will be a busy day. I have a podcast to release and a convention to work. It’s past midnight on the east coast. I should be in bed. Instead I’m watching Footloose and wishing that plans weren’t cancelled.
