Watchmen Movie Review #1 – A Non-Fan of the Book Converted!

I want to start off this review by going over my history with this book. Like all comic fans, I was told that this was a must read, that this is the holy bible of all published comic book work. I was told that my life would be changed forever once my eyes graced the pages of this Magna Carta of funny books. So, of course, I read it. Sadly, I was not that impressed. It could be that it had been built up to unreachable standards. It could be that I am just too dumb to get the heavy meaning laid down by the dark genius, Alan Moore. It could be that people are just wrong in their high esteem for the book. Whatever it was, I just couldn’t get that into it.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely believe that there is a lot merit in this book, and that there is something to the mass hysteria that surrounds it. My favorite argument when discussing the book with the Watchmen fan boys (that seem to be multiplying every day) is when it is compared to the film classic, Citizen Kane.

Citizen Kane is often called one of the best movies ever made. It’s on inumerable top ten lists across the world and is the stuff of film snobs’ wet dreams. Once again, I have watched this movie, and truth be told, was bored out of my effing skull. Oh, I get why it’s important. Technically, this movie is amazing as they used camera techniques that were never even thought of before. Things like cranes, trenches, forced perspective… things that are still used to this day were pioneered in this movie. That is what makes it a classic in my opinion. Same thing goes with Watchmen. While I was kind of bored by parts of the story and the art work is nowhere near revolutionary, the story that was told within the work itself was something completely revolutionary. Here you had superheroes that were not all about truth, justice and all that. You had flawed heroes. These people cheated, raped and murdered. As a study of the human condition taken to extremes, Watchmen is wonderful.

So, when it was announced that a movie was finally (successfully) in the works and, more importantly, was actually going to come out, there was a simulatinious cry of joy and disdain throughout the comic book reading community. People were excited that it was happening and, more so, people were appaled that it was going to be a movie (and not a mini-series, therefore  “it wasn’t going to get the justice it deserved”). All the arguments, all the legal issues, all the apprhension aside, this movie is finally finished and coming out in a few weeks. And let me tell you. It’s something else!

First, lets talk direction. Lots of people were worried that Zach Snyder wasn’t going to be able to pull off the nuances of the characters since he is mainly known for the frat-guy boner fest called 300; a film that was a good retelling of the story itself, but that seemed to forget the term “subtlety”. In my opinion, while I do agree that there really wasn’t much acting going on in 300, it was a graphic novel on celluloid. Snyder knew what he was doing — exactly what he wanted to. He wanted to make an action movie. When I found out he was directing Watchmen, I felt it was actually an adequate choice of director. After actually seeing the finished product, I can safely say that I was right. While there are some things that I have issue with in his direction (fast/slow/fast fighting and some acting choices) for the most part, this movie is flawless. The coloring, the shots, and the pacing are all great.

You could not have asked for a better cast. The one expection being Malin Akerman who, while very lovely in her latex bodice, leaves one wondering if she knows how to “feel things”. That aside though, everyone of the actors is perfectly cast. Patrick Wilson makes a terrific sadsack as Dan Dreiberg aka Night Owl. Jeffery Dean Morgan as The Comedian is very convincing as a misogynistic alcoholic. I had my doubts about Mathew Goode as Adrian Veidt, thinking that he looked too young, but I was pleasantly surprised at what he does with the subtely of the character. The most talked about Watchman is, of course, Dr. Manhattan. I have to say that this was a sticking point with me when I heard there was a movie coming out. If they fucked this character’s arc up at all it would mean a fail in my book. Possibly an epic one. This being because it’s his story that truly brings out the big questions in the book. That and his look. This is a person that was literally ripped apart at an atomic level and put himself back together into an idealized structure of a man. I mean, he glows blue for christ’s sake! Also, he doesn’t wear pants. This is a little thing, but what it symbolizes is huge. It shows that he no longer considers himself bound by human standards. This is a big deal that the film makers could have easily changed to cowtow to the prissy MPAA… but THEY DIDNT! Yes. You will see blue man man-meat (take THAT, Vegas!) I have never been that exicited to see a dick that wasn’t my own!

I still have yet to touch on one character, and there is a reason for that. Rorschach is one of the pivitol pieces of the story. Within him you have so many twisting emotions that it rivals the ever-morphing blots of his mask. This is a man that has never experienced what a normal person can call a good life. The closest he got to that was when he was fighting crime as a Watchman. While an outsider himself, he tried to live within the rules of society — until he saw what society was. Yes, he is a psychopath. Yes, he is murderer. He would just as soon set you on fire as throw you in jail, but he does it all with a strict code of justice. All this said, I never realized any of it while reading the book. It took watching this movie and seeing what Jackie Earle Haley did with it to convince me. This guy is fantastic. He is by far the center piece of this movie. From his introduction, to his back story, to his prison experience, to his amazing end… Rorschach is truly one of the best written heroes ever. If you come away with anything from this review make it this: see this movie for no other reason then to watch this character!

You might have noticed that I have not talked about the plot at all. The main reason for this is that you are at a site called Geekscape on the interwebs, so I am assuming that you already know what’s up. This is also a question that is asked by critics and fans alike. Will this film do well even if it is not dumbed down to make it easier for the mainstream to grasp? The answer in my opinion is yes. Don’t get me wrong, there are some changes in the story to help keep people “out of the know” entertained. The opening sequence does a fantastic job at illustrating the world we are about to enter (to Bob Dylan’s The Times They Are A Changin’). The other main change happens at the end, which I won’t talk about here. Let’s just say that they kept it as realistic as possible. Honestly, I think the plot points that were axed and the sequences and aspects that were tweaked ended up working fine in film, since Snyder was telling this story in the confines of a 2.5 hour long movie — not a book. in fact, one of my biggest problems with the book was how slow and plodding the story felt sometimes. I think that the trim the script perfectly eliminated that.

Finally, let’s talk about what sets this movie apart from the varitable sea of superhero movies that we are currently treading in. Mainly that thing is an R rating. Believe me when I say this, it’s a HARD R; meaning there is sex. There is blood. There are bones popping out of skin. It really does put an emphasis on the graphic. While I do have a problem with Synder’s love of the super fast-motion/super slow-motion style of shooting action, it does work in some cases. I will say that the foley artists (the people who make things sound like what they are supposed to sound like in film during post production) need to get kudos, as when people are hit in this movie it really sounds like they are getting hit hard! The fight choreography is gorgeous. I love that every single person in the world has a different fighting style. Really good detail there.

All in all, this movie did a great thing. It took this person, who was only a mild admirer of the book, and made him really like it. I would definitely recommend this to anyone (except parents that want to take their young kids to see it… DO NOT DO THAT!…unless you’re a very progressive parent). Will it please superfans? Who knows? Superfans are a scary breed that have expectations higher then Mt. Everest. Will it please comic fans? Absolutely! Will it please the mainstream? I think so. This really is one of the best told superhero movies ever made. Good job, Mr. Snyder.