Twilight: The Official Geekscape Review
I haven’t read the books, so I’m still trying to wrap my head around this movie. I want to give it the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the hype machine did such a thorough job of convincing me this movie was going to be good that I came in with higher expectations. No, that can’t be it. I met the director of the movie and author of the books and the most confident thing they had to say about the movie was “…you want to see the characters making out. The whole time….” So, that can’t be where I went wrong. Maybe this movie isn’t made for people like me, I mean based on the trailers shown before the movie alone (which were for a stop-motion/CG film, a teen comedy/cheerleader movie, and a Nicolas Cage movie that made me really just want al. his hair to fall out already…extensions much?) I could tell that this wasn’t treating itself like a blockbuster. At least not in the actual delivery of the film itself. Publicity for this movie was through the roof. Sadly, I don’t think Twilight has what it takes to make it to the status of “the next Harry Potter”. This movie didn’t have a single thing going for it other than potential cut-outs for your wall from the next issue of Tiger Beat.
There were very few (perhaps four or five) comfortable conversations in this movie. Every character has an awkwardness to them that makes you feel like they were in a Lynch film. Let me explain: the characters would say something to each other without intent or purpose in their voice or delivery, and they would get a response from the other cast members that seemed to be shouting through a wall of misunderstanding, while not necessarily experiencing an ounce of frustration. The problem here is that, in Twilight, the audience knows exactly what is going on, how it has to happen, and what each character meant by what they said – something you most likely don’t know while watching a Lynch film. The result is conversations had by characters that have known each other for years, or their entire lives who are playing their dialogue like they just met three minutes ago and accidentaly walked in on each other having sex.
Kristen Stewart does an unexpectedly solid job of bringing personality to a character with very little good or developmental dialogue; but, unfortunately, the performance is only as good as the script allows. She suffers from the same awkward delivery as her fellow cast mates do, and I honestly do not blame any of them for this.
Robert Pattinson was good enough in Harry Potter, most likely because he had very few lines, and was able to hide any kind of lack of real talent behind a British accent (they just sound smarter, sometimes, don’t they?). This is the only character that had any amount of layers in this movie and Robert Pattinson’s conflicted attitude/confusion played well to a high school age vampire that has never been allowed to develop romantically, and will never finish developing physically. Permanently stuck in the most awkward stage of life, Robert Pattinson plays Edward like a character that has actually had to go through the “best years of his life” dozens of times. Was this intentional, though?
Catherine Hardwick (Thirteen, Lords of Dogtown) could have fixed this problem. The performances in the (overrated) Thirteen and the biographical Lords of Dogtown are not bad, right? Well, this is because you had some extremely great talent in front of the camera. Robert Pattinson has never carried a movie. A lot of these actors felt like they were taking a break from television so they decided to try a movie one summer. Clarity or context to the scene, taking the melodrama out of the blocking and dialogue, trying to doctor this so that it comes across as a real, honest, genuine story all could have been actions that would have saved this potentially huge movie. I feel like the director just let the actors be and let them play out the scenes, but she’s not Gus Van Sant and she didn’t have people that could handle that style of directing.
Now, for someone that didn’t read the book, it could be said that this movie wasn’t meant for me; and I honestly don’t think it was. There are so many early clues to the supporting character, Jacob, being a werewolf (which eventually happens in book two) that would just seem like random and unexplained references to someone going into this movie with no prior knowledge of the franchise. The two main characters, whose love drives the story of the entire Quadrilogy of books (and if box office estimates are right, movies), fall “in love” over something that seems like instant infatuation. He likes the way she smells and is intrigued by the fact that he can’t read her mind, and she…she…thinks he’s hot? The character don’t share a single thing in common except for the fact that they seem to both have an affinity for awkward conversation. This tone could be attributed to their age and mutual vulnerability, but I wanted to see at least one scene where I feel the characters (who risk and sacrifice huge parts of their lives for each other) actually have something in common or are acting on something other than “infinite love”. The infatuation isn’t portrayed as anything beyond their physical attraction for each other. Call me an old softy, but I want to know that they are discovering each other’s souls (or lack thereof) during the two or three montages where they don’t touch each other and just talk in fields and beds. Montages. This is the biggest effort on the part of this movie to develop the love story and relationship that is supposed to drive the franchise, your emotions, and this movie.
Now, maybe I should take this movie for what it is and enjoy something that seems like a teen drama for a teen drama. It has all the melodramatic stares, cheesy current music, and mediocrity of a bad teen comedy (Drive Me Crazy with vampries). Maybe that’s all it is. It isn’t this intense love story, a new franchise to look forward to, or a breakthrough film for anyone involved. It’s just a teen story that happens to involve vampires. I mean, even the most intimate moments of this movie were laughable. I’m not just saying that. In a packed midnight-movie theatre filled with the movie’s biggest fans, the most intimate lines, serious parts, and important turning points of the story had the audience sounding like they were a live studio audience on the set of Cheers.
Notable “Big Laugh” Moments:
- Jacob’s brother: “The Cullens don’t come here”
*awkward silence and people staring at each other all around*
Cut to Jacob and Bella walking on the beach
Bella: So what did your brother mean by ‘ The Cullens don’t come here?’
Jacob: Oh, so you caught that, did you?
- Edward: “I have to show you what i really am”
*steps into sunlight and begins to sparkle like Tinkerbell has only ever dreamed of*
Edward: This is the skin of a killer!
*runs away*
Stephenie Meyer’s vampires take all the mystery and sacrifice out of being a vampire: they don’t burn in the sun, they sparkle, they can see themselves in mirrors, they don’t need to drink human blood, they seem to be able to keep their ability to do good. So what’s so bad about being a vampire in the Twilightverse? In my opinion, nothing.
You can try and take this movie for what it is and try to enjoy it, or you can go and pick out your favorite moments from the books (if you’ve read them) in this movie; but don’t go to this movie looking for a good story, solid acting, any kind of suspense, anything resembling a good action sequence, or even a glimmer of emotional impact. Twilight isn’t the next Harry Potter, because Harry Potter made sense and appealed to a mass audience because the films and books followed a great formula and left no questions unanswered – even if you’d never read the books. Unless you’re a fan or are keeping a fan of the book company, this middle of the road movie has nothing to offer you other than giggles and something to talk about (or complain about) with your co-workers. Another notch on the belt of a failed hype machine by over-marketing a less than solid product.
