Top Ten Places to Make Out in the Star Trek: The Next Generation Universe

Today is Captain Picard Day! I know, I’m excited too. Let’s all take a moment to remember what this day is all about.

One of my BFF’s Josh Zeller demanded I follow up my Places to Make Out in the Star Wars Universe article with a Star Trek one. Since it is Captain Picard Day I decided to stick with TNG. 

10. Ten-Forward – Hey, the view is cool and Guinan would totally be your wingman.

9. Engineering – The pulse of the engines makes a lovely background atmosphere, and if you stick to the catwalk you’re less likely to get caught. Plus the view is amazing from up there.

8. Observation Lounge – It’s the equivalent to your office board room, but I’ve seen enough movies to know that that’s supposed to be hot, especially if there are some computer pads to push off the table beforehand.  Bonus if it’s during a red alert!

7. Jeffries Tubes – It totally worked for Picard, I’m breaking my rule because someone obviously made out there already, but that scene was pretty hot for TNG, so I feel it’s legit. As Zeller says, if the jeffries tubes are a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’ (when really, if the Jeffries tubes are rocking, you have more on your hands than getting caught smooching).

6. Klingon Bird of Prey – It’s dark, dank, smells kinda funny, they eat weird things.  It’s the equivalent of the back seat in a teenager’s car, right?

5. Run About – Whenever you need to get away from it all, or heck, if you don’t want any spectacular views to distract you just leave it in the cargo bay.

4. Captain’s Ready Room – You can have a philosophical discussion over how he feeds his fish, one of you mention beaming the food directly into the bowl, your eyes catch, the soft music of a flute drifts in from somewhere (probably the jeffries tubes). Magic

3. Data’s Quarters – Talk about art, ignore the cat.

2. Transporter Room – There is added danger here, because at any moment there might be a transporter malfunction.

1. The Holodeck – Make it cool, like the one where they’re all dressed as Shakespeare, and not creepy, like the one where Riker falls in love with that girl in the Jazz club, or the one where Geordi fell in love with the scientist, or the one where Barclay fell in love with everybody ever.

Bow-chicka-wow-wow! And don’t forget…

I realize I listed only ships, and the majority places on the Enterprise, but Riker made out with a girl on Risa and brought back a game that nearly took control of the ship, and that’s almost worse than a space STD. The lesson, stick close to the Enterprise my friends, cause your career is going places, and I don’t care if your mother is Luxwana Troi, don’t let her pressure you. If you ever feel like you need a human connection, that’s what chocolate is for.