Top Five Patrick Swayze Roles
As 2009 continues to roll along, it seems that death himself has a serious affinity for celebrities as of late. Well, the latest victim in this real life version of final destination is none other than the unparalleled Patrick Swayze. So, here I am sitting in front of my computer, not wearing any pants, and typing up yet another famous-person memorial article (I’m sure you’re sick of them by now too). In an attempt not to get to mushy on ya, I thought it might be a good idea to celebrate Mr. Swayze by highlighting his top five best movie roles. After all, has there ever been a man who has appeared in so many bad movies that we also still love? Didn’t think so. Plus, now that Swayze has passed on, who else am I gonna get confused with Kurt Russell? Things just won’t be the same, folks, things just won’t ever be the same…
Jim Cunningham from Donnie Darko
Seriously, has any one ever played so convincing a pedophile? In Donnie Darko—Richard Kelly’s 2001 mindbender/emo-fantasy—Swayze plays a self help guru who also just happens to have a penchant for kiddy porn. It’s a small part to be sure, but Swayze nails it (and that’s one of the few times I can make that statement without a hint of irony). In all of Darko’s existential weirdness, it’s the dramatic and dark influence of characters like Jim Cunningham that give the movie dramatic substance. If you ever needed proof that the Swayze is a serious actor, this is it.
Sam Wheat from Ghost
Ahh…Ghost, the movie that made women inexplicably think that pottery is sexy (believe me, ladies…it’s not). Capitalizing on Demi Moore’s early nineties uber-hotness, Ghost solidified Swayze’s presence as the dreamy leading man, and in turn, became a staple for women to watch alone on Saturday nights while wearing sweatpants and eating chocolate. Like Swayze himself, this movie has recently become a punchline, but let’s not forget the impact the word “ditto” had on us back in 1990. Now, everyone hold hands and have a good cry.
Bodhi from Point Break
Perhaps the best bad movie ever, Point Break is a film that plays out like an elongated SNL sketch. After all, it’s a movie about surfers, starring Gary Busey and Keanu Reeves (if that synopsis doesn’t interest you, you’re dead to me). But, beyond Keanu’s blank stare and Busey’s two-sub-ordering goofiness, there’s Swayze’s Bodhi—a character so awesome that he doesn’t even get a last name. So, next time you’re about to jump out of a plane or rob a bank while wearing a Richard Nixon mask, think of Swayze and smile. Vayas Con Dios, broheim…
Dalton from Road House
You’ve got to love a movie as perfectly simple as Road House. It’s about kicking ass. That’s it. Fade out and roll credits (I wish all movie pitches were that easy). Playing Dalton—the “cooler” bouncer brought in to tame a rowdy bar—Swayze kicks and punches his way into greatness (and Kelly Lynch’s pants). Few movies have inspired as many heterosexual ass pats amongst frat brothers as this one. Open up a Maddy Ice with your bros before the next Kappa Sigma mixer. It’s time to pay respect to one of the all time greats. Swayze, I’m sure, would appreciate it.
Johnny Castle from Dirty Dancing
With a name like Johnny Castle, you just know you’re about to be introduced to a tough guy from the wrong side of the tracks (who also simultaneously has a heart of gold). Dirty Dancing is the seminal 80s classic—and although it may in actuality suck—that doesn’t change its pop culture influence. And, Swayze (along with Jennifer “I-was-in-two-notable-movies” Grey) completely own this movie. Throughout all the ridiculous dance numbers, over-acting, and odd sub plot about abortion, Dirty Dancing taught us one very important life lesson—nobody puts Baby in the corner.
RIP Mr. Swayze.
