Top Five Movies for Father’s Day

For the past few weeks, I’ve been dishing out some severe hate with these top five lists. Well, this week in honor of Father’s Day, I thought I’d bring back a little love to this joint with some movies dealing with father and son bonding. Gather round folks…the following films are great ways to connect with dear ole’ Dad on a holiday created solely to sell greeting cards and subscriptions to ESPN: The Magazine.  So, next time you see Dad and have nothing to say, pop one of these babies into the DVD player and let the language of cinema do the talking for you—because, as we all know, only pussies and liberal arts majors talk about their feelings.

Frequency
Look, before I get tons of hootin’ and hollering complaining that I have no taste in movies, I realize that Frequency isn’t necessarily regarded as a great film. Critically, it’s more or less considered a mediocre one. Yet, for some reason it just touched me in an odd way—much like my creepy uncle at family reunions. Maybe it’s because of my man crush on Dennis Quaid or maybe it’s the thought of seeing Jim Caviezel in that carefree time before he became Jesus. Regardless, Frequency makes my list. It’s a touching story about fathers and sons, and the connections that exist between them. Oh, and did I mention that it has friggin’ time travel? You see, in the movie a young cop with a chip on his shoulder gets to reconnect with his long dead father in the past through an old CB radio. Is it art? Nah. But, it’s damn good entertainment for Father’s Day. Heck, after the credits you might have the sudden urge to hug your dad…and then…you know…get half way there and awkwardly segue the motion into a fist bump. Because that’s what real men do…

To Kill a Mockingbird
To class up this article a little bit, I thought it wise to include that perennial cinematic classic, To Kill A Mockingbird. Few on-screen Dads have had as much resonance with audiences than Atticus Finch, played by Gegory Peck. To Kill Mockingbird—as any 10th grade English teacher will tell you—is a deceptively simple story that deals with a plethora of topics including intolerance, racism, ignorance, fear, and compassion. But, beyond all those literary themes, at the heart of the film (and book) is the character of Atticus Finch—a father figure who serves as a beacon of good for his children in a community drowning itself in hate.  I wish I had a few fresh dick and fart jokes to spice up this section of the list, but I’m afraid disgracing To Kill A Mockingbird with such childish antics would just be offensive and altogether inappropriate. You see, folks, I’m a classy guy. *Farts* *Shines monocle*

Finding Nemo
What else can be said about those bastards at Pixar? John Lasseter and his crew of computer wizards continue to amaze year after year in what seems like an endless supply of transcendent stories and hallucinogenic colors. So, in 2003 when Pixar turned to a clown fish and his journey to find his lost son, adults, children, and stoners alike were treated to a cinematic world as beautiful as it was fully realized. At the heart of the movie’s plot? None other than a simple, yet powerful father and son relationship that deals with real human issues concerning loss, fear, and love…except you know…the main characters just happen to be fish. I know I could heap praise on this movie (and Pixar in general) until the end of time, so instead of boring you all, I’ll give some props to a different, but similarly praiseworthy object—my studly physique. It too has been known to incite feelings concerning loss, fear, and love in women all over the country. Call me ladies.

Field of Dreams
Field of Dreams is one of the few movies that is socially acceptable for a dude to cry at. It’s pretty much got every element necessary to induce tears: baseball, American nostalgia, fatherhood, and of course, Kevin Costner (though to be fair, Costner causes people to cry for different reasons). This whole GD movie is like a domino effect that eventually leads to uncontrollable tears—it’s like chopping a particularly strong onion, except that onion is uh…kinda ike your Dad or something.

By the time you get to the end and Costner’s Ray Kinsella asks his father for a game of catch and the music begins to soar, it’s hard not to get a little ferklempt. Heck, I’m tearing up right now just thinking about it. So, this Father’s Day watch this movie and have a good cry with your Pop. It will almost make you forget about the time he drank too much and forgot your tenth Birthday party…almost.

Big Fish
Few movies nail the connection between fatherhood and storytelling as well as Tim Burton’s Big Fish. In a glorious patchwork of fantasy and profound truths, this movie explores the relationship between father and son in a way that is as innovative as it is familiar. Billy Crudup (sans-blue penis) is great as a son trying to identify with a dying father that he thinks he hardly knows. And, Albert Finney as his Dad is as oddly frightening, yet endearing as ever—much like Willard Scott. This is not only my favorite father/son film, but also happen to be favorite Burton movie as well. In what seems like a rare occurrence nowadays, it feels like Burton is genuinely interested in making an actual film here, instead of trying to just sell t-shirts at Hot Topic. Everything—the music, script, directing, acting, cinematography—really comes together with this one, and that’s why it earns the top spot on this Father’s Day list.

There you have it, my peeps: the top five movies for Father’s Day. Now go out and give that old man of yours a hug on me. I promise it will only make you look slightly gay.