Top Five Most Annoyingly Over-Quoted Comedies

Brüno has just hit theaters, so that means everybody and their mothers will suddenly start quoting lines in a poor effort to imitate Sacha Baron Cohen’s exaggerated Austrian nancy boy (except for your little brother…he always talked queer anyways).

While quotable comedies are certainly good fun, nothing is more irritating than those who find it necessary to endlessly spew movie lines like a frat boy who projectile vomits pizza at 3 in the morning. The following list pays homage to those regurgitated lines of yore—the comedies that everyone in the world has seen a gazillion times, yet they still somehow compel us to act out scenes like a drunken parrot. Yes–that’s right–nothing is less unique and irritating than the overused movie quote.  I mean, I wouldn’t be caught dead doing something so completely unoriginal and cliché. Speaking of which, you know what else is really annoying? Airplane food. I mean, seriously folks, what’s the deal with that?

Swingers
Before Jon Favreau became the acclaimed/chubby director behind Iron Man, he was the relatively unknown/chubby star of a little movie called Swingers. Directed by Doug Liman (who went on to make the Bourne Identity and the celluloid afterbirth known as Jumper), Swingers was a movie that gave filmgoers a sudden cinematic injection of bromantic camaraderie and snazzy one-liners. And, while Swingers did much to add a sense of youthful, mainstream vitality to the word of quasi-independent film during the late 90’s, it also unfortunately spawned an endless supply of one-liners for douchebags across America to spout ad nauseam. Nowadays, it’s a well-known completely made up fact that 65% of all communication on road trips to Vegas is comprised of Swingers quotage (the other 35% comes from Fear and Loathing and repeated, semi-incompressible grunts of “Vegas, Baby! Vegas!”).  Is it annoying? Absolutely. We get it buddy…you’re so money and you don’t even know it. This is me giving you the finger.

Napoleon Dynamite
Few movies in the last 10 years have contributed so greatly to the global pop-culture lexicon as 2004’s Napoleon Dynamite—a fact made even more amazing when you consider the film itself was made dirt cheap and without any big name actors. That being said, if you still think quoting Napoleon Dynamite is even remotely clever, you should probably consider jumping in a volcano or something. Look, I’m not dissing Napoleon Dynamite as a movie; I just think the respectable window of time to quote the film has definitely passed. It’s time to move on to another quirky, independent comedy to get our fix. And—before you head there—Juno just doesn’t count. Start quoting that I may have the reflexive reaction to punch you in the face. Honest to blog.

Borat
Right after Borat came out, remember how everyone you knew—friends, coworkers, relatives—were quoting the movie like crazy? Yeah, that was funny for a total of thirty seconds. Granted, I laughed my ass off when I first saw Borat in the theater back in 2006, but overtime the joke wore thin—much like Carrot Top’s career. In terms of a “hip-ness barometer,” I think it’s safe to say that as soon as your mom begins quoting something, it’s no longer cool. And, so died the comedic value of the Borat impression.

Nevertheless, this hasn’t stopped people from continually regurgitating things like “Niice!’ and “High-Five” at office Christmas parties and summer barbeques across the country. I guarantee that some guy in accounting in Topeka, Kansas is doing it as I type this very sentence. So, while it may no longer be socially acceptable, the Borat impression continues to live on. In other words, quoting Borat is the equivalent of wearing crocs or t-shirts with unicorns painted on them.

Anchorman
There’s no denying that Will Ferrell is a funny dude. But, for some reason his comedies with writing partner/director Adam McKay always feel more like Saturday Night Live Sketches than actual movies. Parts of them are really funny, but as a whole they come off as overlong and unfulfilling (much like sex with me).

Overall, I think Anchorman is the worst offender when comes to the “funny, but overrated category.” Are parts brilliant? Damn straight! It just doesn’t sustain that level of greatness throughout. The same could be said for quoting lines from film. For Example:

1.) “Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint!!”— Hilarious.

2.) “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch…”— I want to knife you when you’re asleep.

Just keep that in mind the next time you and your brahs try to start an unrehearsed performance of Afternoon Delight. Believe me, I’ll be watching…

The Austin Powers Series
If my love of Wayne’s World is any indication, I was a huge Mike Myers fan back in the day. But, now that we’re in what I like to call the “Love Guru Era” of comedy, Myers has gone from smart and hilarious to embarrassing and “Fred Durst-esque.” Interestingly, you could say the same thing about the Austin Powers series as a whole. Once clever and satiric, the franchise has waned to something banal and borderline retarded. Nevertheless, Austin Powers is still probably one of the most over quoted movies of all time. *le sigh*

On the positive side of things, if somebody starts quoting Austin Powers it tells me a lot about them—like let’s never hang out. In fact, the same could be said about other dehabilitating physical traits such as tribal armband tattoos or having red hair.

Until next time, y’all…Ivan, out.