Top Five Good Movies with Terrible Titles
It’s no secret that there are tons of bad movie titles out there. Reindeer Games. Gigli. Changing Lanes…
Okay, I’m sure there are some other examples using movies not starring Ben Affleck, but I’m just too lazy to think of them at the moment. The point is this: bad movies and bad titles tend to go hand in hand. What happens when good movies have bad titles? The answer to this fascinating query can be found in the following compiled list. Oh, and before you ask, Snakes on a Plane, sadly, didn’t make the cut…
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
Yes, this is the movie where Wesley Snipes and Patrick Swayze dress up like girls. It’s an uplifting story about three drag queens with a heart of gold (just to clarify—only in movies do hookers and drag queens have hearts of gold, they’re usually made of sequins) who help transform a small town by opening up the world around them. Aside from the fact that it fulfilled my lifelong fantasy of seeing Patrick Swayze in a dress, the movie is actually a pretty good flick—in a gay, do-gooder kind of way. This movie is, sadly, often overlooked. However, that title is just straight awful. To Wong Foo? Thanks for Everything? Julie Newmar? Is the movie about Catwoman? A biopic on Engrish? Isn’t Foo some type of Hacker slang? Did John Leguizamo lose some kind of bet?
Non-sequiturs rarely work for movie titles, and this one is no exception. Now, if I were head of the marketing department for this movie I would have gone with “Life’s a Drag.” You get it? Ya see…because they’re drag queens. And, in the case of my suggested title “drag” is a double entendre…indicating that there are both drag queens in the movie and that life is difficult…because…oh…never mind…
The Hudsucker Proxy
Maybe I’m just immature, but when I originally read the title for this Coen Brothers comedic gem I assumed it was a gay porn movie. Seriously, I haven’t misjudged a movie title by that much since the time I first heard about Free Willy (believe me…it’s not about what you think).
Out of all the Coen Brothers’ movies I feel like this one is definitely the most overlooked. If I were to hazard a guess on why that is, I’d have to say it’s probably all centered around that title; or maybe it’s just Tim Robbins (he frightens small children). Sure, the title makes sense in the context of the film’s plot—a naïve businessman is installed as the head of a company named Hudsucker Industries in order to perpetuate a stock market scam—but, at the end of the day, that doesn’t really help when you’ve got the word “suck” right in there. Not to mention, 76.7% (fake statistic to make myself sound smarter) of Americans don’t even know what the word proxy even means. However, they do know that it rhymes with “foxy.” Hmm…Hudsucker Foxy…now there’s a sexy title…
Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away the Wayans brothers used to be funny. But, even then, they still couldn’t name a movie worth shit. Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood is a relatively smart spoof of all those ghetto, thug life urban dramas that appeared in the early nineties. Think Scary Movie, but…you know…good.
Regardless, the title is crap. Sure, it’s attempting to be a funny one—it’s purposefully long-winded. I get that. But, nobody wants to have to recite a narrative epic simply to say a movie title. Just imagine asking for a ticket to see this at your local theater. “Yeah, I want two tickets for “Don’t-be-a-Meance-to-North-Central-while-eating-food-quadaratic-forumla-seahorse-ghetto-hood-sandlot…*sigh*…Yeah…whatever…just give me a ticket to Fly Away Home.”
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I know that everybody and their mother considers Charlie Kaufman to be an unparalleled genius screenwriter who farts unicorns and makes the whole world hold hands like in a bad Coke commercial. The title for this movie is just out there—even for a guy as quirky and weird as Kaufman. Granted, Eternal Sunshine isn’t your typical flick. It’s a bizarre, but touching love story between two people who are destined to be together even after they erase their memories of the other’s existence. Still, weird rarely works when it comes to titles, and this just proves that point. The advertisements for this movie were equally as baffling. I seem to recall Jim Carrey running around oddly on a frozen lake while happy music played over random crosscuts to Kirsten “Snaggletooth” Dunst and Elijah Wood in his underwear. I get it Kaufman…you’re different. Now, stop cutting yourself in the corner and come out and play with the rest of us. Choose a normal title next time. And, no, Synecdoche, New York doesn’t count…
The Shawshank Redemption
Let me get one thing straight—I love this movie (who doesn’t?). But, let’s face it—that’s a terrible title. Shawshank? WTF? Seriously, when this movie first came out, I thought it was about lamb. I don’t know why…probably the use of the word “shank.” Still, there’s nothing in that title gives thet audience any idea about what the film istelf. Hence, it fails. Is some dude named Shawshank going to redeem himself to the world? Is it about a pro wrestling match featuring some unknown Irish heavyweight?
It’s been widely speculated that the reason The Shawshank Redemption was such a box office flop is strictly due to the obscure title. Maybe it was just Tim Robbins (remember…he frightens small children).
There you have it folks—the top five good movies with bad titles – in my opinion. So, if you’re ever handed the responsibility of choosing a movie title for a major studio film (hey, it could happen), make sure to pick wisely. My personal favorite? A Tale of Two Titties. Now, that works on multiple levels…
Ivan Kander is the handsome and debonair cohost of his very own video podcast. Check it out at www.lucky9studios.com/worstmovieever. He once removed a man’s gall bladder with his bare hands.
