The Week In Geek Related News & Gossip
WONDER WOMAN GOES SHOPPING, MAKES HEADLINES
So if you know me or my writing at all, you know that I am an enormous Wonder Woman fan. Due to this fact, I think I’ve been asked like fifty times this past week what I think of the new Wonder Woman costume from just about everyone I know. Just in case you don’t know what I’m talking about, I refer now to this past week’s news that Wonder Woman would be getting a new costume and direction from writer J. Michael Straczynski starting with issue #600. The news of Wonder Woman’s new outfit was on seemingly every single news source this past week, and not just online but on television as well. So for the record, here is what I think:
I don’t really like it, but I also don’t really care either, because I know it is totally temporary.
I’ve been reading comics my whole life, just about. I’ve watched as stunts like these are pulled on long running characters, especially when their sales are in the gutter. Right now, despite honest efforts by great writers like Gail Simone, Wonder Woman’s sales suck. Something drastic and attention grabbing had to be done, beyond just getting a buzz worthy writer on the book. And guess what? It worked. Issue #600 has already sold out, and I can’t remember a time when any Wonder Woman comic sold out that fast. A lot of new readers are likely to stick around for the rest of Straczynski’s run, and that is a good thing.
But there is no way in Hell this costume change is permanent. Oh, an element or two of the costume might stick, but within the next two years (likely in 2011, Wonder Woman’s 70th Birthday) the classic swimsuit will return “due to popular demand”. Actually, it will be due to the fact that Wonder Woman’s classic image is plastered all over everything from Hot Topic t- shirts to tin lunch boxes to you name it. Warner Brothers, DC’s parent company, won’t allow for anything long term like a permanent costume change. Her “new origin”, a weird amalgamation of Superman’s and Batman’s, is also part of some alternate timeline story, and Wonder Woman will no doubt return to the classic timeline and costume before it is all said and done. So for all you comic book fans throwing a fit on message boards about this horrible new look, take a deep breath and stop acting like you just started reading comics yesterday and don’t know how this will all play out. But for the record, the new “Mom Jeans” SO need to go.
LADIES AND GENTS, WE HAVE US A WEB SLINGER
So ever since Sony fired Sam Raimi in order to be replaced with someone a lot cheaper, er…I mean, “decided to go in a new direction” with the Spider-Man franchise, the inernet has been a buzz with speculation on who the new Spidey would be. Of course, just about every young guy who even remotely fits the part had been mentioned, and it turned out to be a guy most of us had never heard of, a British actor named Andrew Garfield. At 26, this Garfield guy might seem a little old to play high school age Peter Parker, but then Tobey Maguire was also 26 when he was cast in the original Spider-Man, so what the hell do I know. Old ass people have been playing high school kids since Grease after all.
I’ve never seen the guy in anything, but I’m glad someone was cast seemingly based on their talent in the audition process and not how high their awareness is with the Disney Channel crowd. While I am actually more excited about a fresh take on Spidey than a fourth Raimi movie at this point (nothing against Raimi at all, unlike the geek masses, I didn’t totally hate on Spider-Man 3, I merely found it mediocre) I still wish this was a soft reboot, and not a full on return to high school origin story again. Can’t we just pick up in college? Wasn’t Peter Parker only 20 in the last movie? Despite what Marvel might want you to think these days, Spidey is way more of a college age character than a high school one; he only spent like four years or so at Midtown High, and something like thirty fucking years at Empire State University. I say leave him in college and don’t re-tread anything from the first movies please. It ain’t like the original movies were 20 years ago folks…we all remember them, even little kids.
BLOODSUCKER OVERLOAD
So, we sick of vampires yet? Despite my utter hatred and loathing of the Twilight franchise, and all of it’s anti feminist/ pro abstinence bullshit propaganda, I’ll always love me a good vampire story. This week we got not one, but two trailers for forthcoming vampire movies. The first is for Vampires Suck, the latest “comedy” spoof from the makers of such cinematic atrocities as Epic Movie, Date Movie, and Meet the Spartans, Jason Seltzer and Aaron Friedberg. Their brand of comedy consists of taking something that is currently popular and in the zeitgeist (like say, Lady GaGa or the cast of Jersey Shore) and then having those characters hit their heads or fall or some other stupid shit. These movies are loathsome and an insult to the term “comedy” in every concievable way, and yet they continue to make money. I realize that it might not be politically correct of me, but I really and truly feel like anyone who pays for these movies should not be allowed to procreate. Ever. Seriously, If you are one of the people who contributes to the success of these movies, then fuck you.
The Trailer For Vampires Suck. Do NOT Watch If You Are In Any Way Entertaining Suicidal Thoughts
On the flip side, we have the trailer for the forthcoming remake of the great Swedish vampire flick from 2008 Let The Right One In, now simply re-titled Let Me In. As much as I frowned on the idea of a remake of a great movie so damn soon…this trailer actually looks pretty damn good, if I may say so. It does really seem like a shot for shot remake though, which makes me wonder what the point really is in the end. Still, this looks like a decent antidote to Twilight, and I am SO glad they decided to stick to little kids as the protagonists and not make them teenagers to woo the Twitards. Both of these child actors were really great in recent movies (Chloe Moretz in Kick Ass, and Kodi Smit-McPhee in The Road) so I remain cautiously optimistic.
The Trailer For Let Me In, Which Might Actually Not Suck
PRINCE DECLARES THE INTERNET “COMPLETELY OVER”, INTERNET SEEMINGLY CONTINUES.
In an interview with the British press this week, His Royal Badness was quoted as saying “the Internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else … all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.” (and yet, somehow, despite the internet being “over”, you are all still reading this. Go figure.) It would be easy to come into this news item just bashing the Hell out of Prince for such a stupid statement, but see….I’m a Prince fan. A HUGE Prince fan. I have just about every album of his, and I will always consider Purple Rain my favorite album of all time, with 1999 and Sign O’ The Times right on its heels. Hell, I think Purple Rain is the greatest pop record ever, yes even over Thriller (If Thriller had more songs about people masturbating with magazines, it might have had the edge) His two 2004 Musicology Tour concerts I saw are hands down the two best concerts I’ve ever been to.
And this “internet is over” comment just reeks of hypocrisy. See, a decade or so back, Prince was ALL about the internet, back when he thought it was a way for him to make a lot of money without a record label taking a cut. As recently as last year, he created a new website for his double album Lotusflow3r. Fans were expected to pay $77 dollars for a year long membership, and they would receive three new albums, plus exclusive content like unreleased tracks and music videos. None of that ever happened of course, a lot of fans got pissed off and demanded refunds, and a year later, Prince had the site shut down. And this wasn’t the first such internet related rip off Prince fans have had to endure over the years. So of course, now the internet is “over”, because Prince has realized he can’t make as much money off of it as he thought he could.
It would be easy to just say “the internet isn’t over…Prince is fuckin’ over!” But that is way too easy, and Prince simply can’t be dismissed so casually. Prince is an actual music Legend. In an era where the title “Living Legend” is thrown around loosely and to those who don’t deserve it (any American Idol winner for example) Prince actually earned it. Hell, just from his musical output from 1979-1992 alone, he fucking earned that title. And unlike his late rival Michael Jackson, he never rested on his laurels; he constantly put out new product over the last 15 years, not to mention all the touring. (All while squeezing in door to door Jehovah’s Witness visits to boot) Crazy ass behavior is part of Prince’s weird charm, either when changing his name to an unpronounceable symbol and writing the word “slave” on his face, or like when he infamously stopped his Black Album from hitting stores at the last minute, because he was convinced the album was “evil” (this after 500,000 copies of the album were produced and sitting in wherehouses across the country waiting to be shipped) Prince, like Michael Jackson before him, is the last of a dying breed; pop music stars SO big, SO famous, they live in little realities of their own making. So when Prince says something stupid like the internet is dead, well….in his world it is true. And to him, “Prince World” is the only world that has ever really mattered. And I’ll shrug, roll my eyes and then look the other way, because the next time I hear an awesome Prince track or see one of his shows, it just won’t really matter what stupid ass shit he says or does. If there was ever an artist who gets a “Get Out of Jail Free Card” for the stupid shit they say or do, it is the Purple One. Although… he might be on his 50th card by now. There might be a limit.
