The Week In Geek: Man of Steel News Galore, Dark Shadows Cast Grows, And Another Wonder Woman Rant

 Superman Casting Galore

So much for running my pic of Joe Manganiello from True Blood as Superman last week as being good luck; :/

This week is was announced that Kal-El had been found for Zack Snyder’s Superman reboot, The Man of Steel. And it was someone who was this close to getting the part nearly seven years ago, a Brit actor by the name of Henry Cavill. Cavill is best known here in the states for his role on Showtime’s The Tudors. Apparently, he was the frontrunner back in 2004, when the Superman project was then going to be the one directed by McG and based off of JJ Abrams script (the script where Krypton doesn’t blow up, Lex is a CIA agent as well as an alien, and the super suit is alive. The next time you bitch about Superman Returns, think about the bullet you dodged there) In any event, Henry Cavill didn’t get the part, the project was shelved and when it got revived, it turned into Bryan Singer’s movie where he wanted a Chris Reeve lookalike, and Cavill was out.

As it turns out, seven years ago he looked to young for the part anyway, but has since matured into a perfect looking Superman, so good things come to those who wait I guess.

Also this week it was announced that the contenders for the female love interest in The Man of Steel are down to three actresses –Rosamund Pike, Alice Eve, and Diane Kruger. Rumored earlier in the week was that wet dishrag of an actress Kristen Stewart, but thankfully she turned the gig down. One less thing I have to see her stupid pouty face in.  But get this…the love interest is not Lois Lane. Is it Lana Lang? With Smallville still fresh in everyone’s minds, you would think the Clark/Lana love story had been done to death, but unlike Batman (who is a pimp) Superman’s love interests can be counted on one hand. One hand that is missing a thumb even. All the actresses mentioned for the love interest part are blonde, so maybe that is a clue? David Goyer did create a new love interest for Batman in the form of Rachel Dawes for his Batman movies he wrote, so there is a precedent for him creating someone totally new here too. Hopefully, in keeping with tradition for Superman’s girlfriends, her initials will still he L.L.

Dark Shadows Cast Begins To Take Shape

Tim Burton’s big screen remake of 60’s cheese fest soap opera Dark Shadows has made its first non Johnny Depp casting announcements this week; first we have “creepy little guy” du jour Jackie Earle Hayley as Willie, the human slave of vampire Barnabas Collins (think Igor) also cast is Eva Green, 007’s Vesper Lynd, as the evil witch Angelique. And lastly, Bella Heathcote as Victoria Winters, Barnabas Collins love interest who looks just like his long dead mortal love. (I don’t know what sounds more like a Jane Austen character, her real name or the character she is playing) In the old tv series, Victoria was a governess, in this version she will be a waitress, shades of True Blood’s Sookie Stackhouse. 

Although I have been burned many times recently by these Tim Burton re imaginings, Dark Shadows has been a passion project for Johnny Depp for something like ten years now.  He was a huge fan of the show growing up and idolized vampire Barnabas Collins, and went out of his way to obtain the rights. If anyone can convince Tim Burton not to phone it in on this one, it is his BFF Depp, so maybe…maybe this will be good.

But probably not.

Add Another One To The Ever-Growing Cast of The Dark Knight Rises 

Another week, another Bat flick casting announcement. We have word this week that Joseph Gordon Levitt, most recently seen in Chris Nolan’s Inception, and an all together awesome actor, will be in an unspecified role in The Dark Knight Rises. Everyone online is assuming he is some as of yet unannounced villain, but the truth is he could just as easily be a cop on the GCPD or anything really. Still, with an actor as good as JGL, you would imagine he would get a meaty part, so maybe he will be a villain after all. He would be a perfect Riddler, but sadly they have already announced that that character is not going to be in this movie. (But maybe Edward Nigma is? Hmmmm)  Before you start thinking Spider-Man 3 villain overload mess, remember that Batman Begins had Ra’s al Ghul, Scarecrow, and mobster Carmine Falcone, and The Dark Knight had Joker, Two Face and Sal Maroni. Maybe JGL is playing some kind of mob villain? Who knows, so many of the casting announcements on this movie have been so left field (Tom Hardy as Bane for example) that for all I know JGL is playing Batgirl.

Platinum Dunes Sets Their Evil Eyes Elsewhere

First the good news; Platinum Dunes, Michael Bay’s company responsible for most of the soulless remakes of 70’s and 80’s horror classics in the past decade, have announced they are not going to be making sequels to either the  crappy Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street remakes. Apparently, according to a Platinum Dunes spokesman, “there is no interest in R Rated Horror right now” (Also, there is possibly no interest in sequels to your movies because the remakes sucked) Now to the bad news: Platinum Dunes has moved on to remaking your favorite childhood adventure movies, and work is apparently coming along swimmingly on both the remakes of The Monster Squad and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltes. Now, I was 15 when the original TMNT movie came out, and therefore just old enough to not give a fuck about the turtles, but I understand for many of you out there, this will be just like when Platinum Dunes took Freddy Krueger, touched him where his bathing suit covered, and asked him not to tell anyone. That is what the Nightmare remake was like for me. Now your precious Turtles are next…the cycle of abuse continues. It should be noted that Platinum Dunes is  not responsible alone for the horror remake avalanche; Paramount announced this week their plans to remake Stephen King’s Pet Sematary as well. There are molesters everywhere in Hollywood.

Wonder Woman TV Pilot Script Reviews Emerge Online

And you know that means a rant from yours truly. File this one under “Be careful what you wish for”

In the final news regarding a member of DC Comics’ “Holy Trinity” for the week, reviews for the pilot script for David E. Kelley’s tv reboot of Wonder Woman started making their way around the internet. Sites like Bleeding Cool, DC Women Kicking Ass,  The Daily Beast and iFanboy got their hands on an early copy. To say reaction was mixed is being kind.

At first, at least for me, it seemed there were several positive things about the script based on descriptions alone.Wonder Woman’s classic origin, where pilot Steve Trevor crash lands on the Amazon island of Themyscira and returns to our world with Princess Diana in tow, seemed intact. Many of the characters from the comic books’ most critically beloved runs were included, much to my surprise. Steve Trevor and Etta Candy from the Golden Age, publicist Myndi Mayer and Police Inspector Ed Indelicato from the George Perez 1980’s reboot, and villain Veronica Cale from Greg Rucka’s excellent run on the title in the mid 2000’s. Wondy even has a pic of her mother, Queen Hippolyta and her sister Donna Troy on her mantle. It seemed like Kelley did his homework, and on more than just the old TV show. This was a pleasant surprise for me.

But then other details started to come in as more reviews popped up online, and it proved that this was indeed what we all feared: Ally McBeal posing as a Super Hero.  In this version of the script, Diana Themyscira is a well known celeb and everyone knows she is Wonder Woman as well. (this is true of the modern version of the comic book character as well, to be fair) She runs her own company, Themyscira Industries, named after her native homeland. Ok, a departure from the comics, but it isn’t like Wonder Woman hasn’t been a public figure with a large support staff before (see Greg Rucka’s run) But it seems that this company of hers, which makes billions, just goes into funding her high tech crime lab. Now, if she was pouring this money into altruistic global concerns? That would be in character. But having her be a straight up capitalist is very NOT in character. Tony Stark she is not. First big fail.

Also, her mission is totally ill defined. Aside from chasing thugs and low lifes, what is her purpose for being in our world? Why was she sent here? Who knows. The script seems to have no interest in that. The Greek  mythology seems to be totally absent as well. Diana has her magic lasso and bracelets, but no mention is made of the Gods or why this glowing rope makes people tell the truth, or the bracelets deflect buttlets. They just does because…well, because Wonder woman has a lasso and bullet proof bracelets, and everyone knows that. Except everyone doesn’t know that; this show will be someone’s first intro to the character, and these things need to be explained and given meaning. But it seems clear Kelley has no interest in the larger mythology of the show.

Aside from all these character and mythology issues, the worst part is aspects of the script are VERY non feminist. To make a non feminist show is bad enough in this day and age, but to take a feminist icon and strip her of what makes her a role model for young women is unforgivable. In this script, Wonder Woman wants the boobs on her action figures reduced, because “when people meet her in real life, they end up disappointed”  The comic book Wonder Woman doesn’t give a flying fuck what men think of her titty size, because she grew up in a world without having to live up to impossible standards, because there were no men.  Also, the Diana in this script is still pining over her lost love, Steve Trevor. He brought her to our world, and they had a romance that ended badly. All of that is ok, he was her love interest for 45 years of comic book history after all, but apparently her relationship with him has such a stranglehold on her still, the script ends with her crying herself to sleep over him. Fuck that. Fuck that right in the ear.

I get that you are trying to make her relatable to American women Mr.Kelley. But Wonder Woman also needs to be inspiring to women as well.  She can’t be worried about what men (or anyone) think about her cup size, she can’t be crying all the time about an ex boyfriend because he is dating someone else now and she is too busy (you know, saving the world and shit) and for God’s sake, she needs to be able to to talk to the women in her life about things other than men.  You can’t sell to girls and women this idea that their entire reason for existence is to attract men.  Does Batman only talk to Alfred and Gordon about chicks? No. Does Superman only talk to Perry and Jimmy and his dead father about Lois? No. But it seems that 90% of Diana’s conversations in this script are about men. Because no matter what, women only think about guys. She even has an ice cream pajama sleepover with her BFF Myndi in the script; if this were a show from the likes of Joss Whedon or JJ Abrams, that could be cute and endearing. There were ice cream sleepovers on Buffy and Alias after all. But it seems the general tone of this show is “it is so hard to be me/ice cream sleepover/boys are mean” If that is the case, then who are they making this show for?

Geoff Johns has gone on record saying that the purpose of his job at DC Entertainment as CCO  is to make sure that their beloved characters are not bastardized in the media. So far, when it comes to Batman and Superman and probably Green Lantern (from everything I’ve seen) then job well done. Can’t Wonder Woman be afforded the same respect?