The Week In Geek: Captain America, Adam Sandler Is Dracula? & Transformers and Pirates To Never End

Captain America Gets A Title Change

At Least In Places Where They Hate Us

Back in 2008, right after the first Iron Man movie was released, Marvel Studios unleashed their plans and titles for their upcoming slate over a period of several years; Iron Man 2, Thor…and finally “The First Avenger: Captain America.”  Fans everywhere were pissed that Cap’s name was second in his own movie, but considering how beloved America was to the rest of the world during the Bush years, it isn’t hard to imagine why they chose that route. Well, three years and one beloved Black president later (well, beloved overseas anyway, at home it is a different story) and Marvel decided to put Captain America’s name front and center once again. Well, all except in three countries.

It looks like the movie will still be called The First Avenger:Captain America in Russia, South Korea and the Ukraine. The Los Angeles Times reports that the cold-war kept Russia and Ukraine from allowing the Marvel characters, either in comic book form or animated form,  into their culture until the 90s. (that fact probably didn’t require a name change for the X-Men or Spider-Man I bet) When it comes to South Korea, apparently they ain’t too crazy about a movie about a United States Super Soldier when they’ve had a huge US Military presence since the Korean War. Oddly enough, the name Captain America will remain in France. And I’m dying to know what the box office totals for that movie will be there.

Adam Sandler Is Our Newest Dracula. For Reals. 

On paper, everything about the upcoming animated movie Hotel Transylvania from Sony sounds very, very painful; not only has Adam Sandler joined the cast in the lead role of Dracula this week (yes, fucking Adam Sandler is Dracula)  but the rest of the cast includes annoying voice actors like Fran Drescher, Kevin James, David Spade and others who star in terrible movies together likeGrown Ups, that make tons of money but no one will admit to ever paying to see. Here is the official description of this movie from Sony’s press release: 

 “Welcome to the Hotel Transylvania, Dracula’s (Sandler) lavish five-stake resort, where monsters and their families can live it up, free from meddling from the human world. But here’s a little known fact about Dracula: he is not only the Prince of Darkness; he is also a dad. Over-protective of his teenage daughter, Mavis, Dracula fabricates tales of elaborate dangers to dissuade her adventurous spirit. As a haven for Mavis, he opens the Hotel Transylvania, where his daughter and some of the world’s most famous monsters – Frankenstein and his bride, the Mummy, the Invisible Man, a family of werewolves, and more – can kick back in safety and peace. For Drac, catering to all of these legendary monsters is no problem – but his world could come crashing down when one ordinary guy stumbles on the hotel and takes a shine to Mavis.”

Now, if this was coming from Pixar, I could see where they could spin this premise into gold and not make it half as lame is it sounds here. Hell, even Dreamworks animated films have been better lately and they might be able to make this work. But the voice cast sounds so annoying that I can’t imagine this being any good. The one reason anyone would have to be excited about this project (and why I’m even mentioning it in this column) is that the director is none other than Genndy Tartakovsky.  

While Tartakovsky. may not be a household name, his resume includes such awesome animated shows as Dexter’s Laboratory, Samurai Jack and the original 2D version of Clone Wars. Hotel Transylvania would be his directorial debut, so I’m hoping he can make something interesting out of what sounds like a hot mess. But I’m not really counting on it. 

New Transformers Trilogy Not a Reboot

 Craving more Autobot and Decepticon action after Transformers: Dark of the Moon? No? Oh well, you’re getting it anyways. At least this time there will be no Michael Bay or Shia LaBeouf to annoy you, as they have both stated their days in the Transformers-verse are over, so maybe there’s hope. The one thing Paramount has confirmed so far about whatever shape the Transformers franchise takes from now on, it will not be a reboot…the events of the original Transformers trilogy will have happened, and the series will merely move on with new human characters. Considering how instant-reboot happy Hollywood is lately, especially with properties that don’t need them *cough*Spider-Man*cough* it is nice to see one of this big properties acknowledge that people have a memory span longer than five years. Too bad it is a property that burned all good will I had towards it completely after their second outing. Oh well, at least voice actor Peter Cullen will still have a nice paycheck.  

Johnny Depp Will Still Be Jack Sparrow Even After We’re All Dead 

Speaking of movie franchises that refuse to die, while Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides was a solid hit here in the states, it was easily the least successful of the entire franchise so far. It seems American attitudes towards these big franchises is the same as they are for pop stars; they love you like crazy for a little while, and then if you overstay your welcome you become yesterday’s news just like that. It is why most movie franchises (Star Wars and 007 being the exception) tend to flame out after a third installment, only to be rebooted at a later date. 

But this rule does not apply overseas, as evidenced this week when Pirates 4 officially crossed the $1 Billion dollar mark internationally. Just like Michael Jackson or any other pop star who was long past his prime in the States, foreign audiences just plain do not get tired of these big franchises at the same rate we do. Which is why, despite saying he was taking a break from Captain Jack Sparrow earlier this year, Johnny Depp is now this close to signing on the dotted line for Pirates 5. And why shouldn’t he? This franchise alone has stuffed his pockets with over $350 million dollars. So expect more of these movies until the folks overseas get sick of them at the same rate we do, which ain’t happening soon.

King of Kong Goes From Doc To Mock

Hey, remember that awesome documentary about those two guys trying to maintain their title as world’s highest scorer on Donkey Kong that came out a couple years back, The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters? (if not, you really, really should Netflix it like right now) Well, first we heard it was being remade as a narrative film, but now it seems that idea is being scrapped, and it is being remade as…a mockumentary. The original movie almost already reads like a mock documentary it is so ridiculous, why even bother? I really am baffled by this choice. It’s like they went from one dumb idea to one a thousand times worse. Director Seth Gordon, whose movie Horrible Bosses just came out, really wants to protect the integrity of his original beloved documentary, but I honestly think the best way to protect it is to leave it well enough alone.