The Top Five Movies to Play as Background to a Halloween Party
Ahh…Halloween! It’s a magical, carefree time when children gobble candy, pedophiles get door to door service, and all girls dress like sluts. Best. Holiday. Ever. Let me tell ya, there is simply no better way to celebrate Halloween then with a good ol’ fashioned costume party (either that or vandalism). So, in order to add a little legal spice to your Hallows’ Eve masquerade this year, allow me to suggest the following flicks to play in the background on your brand spanking new HDTV (or 32” wood-encased relic). I mean, let’s face it, by now everyone’s just a little bit tired of Wii Bowling…
Nosferatu
Nothing says “party” quite like silent, 1922 German Expressionism. Am I right?…right? *taps microphone*…uh…Is this thing on?
Now, before you stop reading, let me explain. In today’s modern hipster culture anything that is old and “deep” is also cool. Hence, Nosferatu is about as hip and deck as an unannounced Belle and Sebastian concert at the local independent coffee shop. If you’re attempting to pander to an emo, “I’m-too-cool-to-dress-up” type of crowd, Nosferatu is the perfect choice. First off, it’s silent—so you don’t have to worry about people following along. The stark, black and white photography is actually still pretty creepy. And, to top it off, the movie recently got re-released in a fancy ultimate edition DVD – complete with a high definition transfer. So, it’s the perfect film to grace the background of your pseudo-intellectual, highbrow Halloween get-together.
Oh, and goth chicks love old school horror. So, just shuttle your way over to that one girl with a safety pin in her eyebrow, mention something about the movie’s use of shadows to create mood, and it’s game on, slugger. *gun fingers*…*guy-liner*….
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Tim Curry in drag. Those four words are reason enough to play this cult classic at your next Halloween party. However, beyond the pure awesomeness of seeing Mr. Curry as the Transvestite from Transylvania, Rocky Horror is an ideal flick to act as some hip background eye candy. For one it’s a musical, so already your Halloween bash will have a pretty sweet soundtrack. Second, the dance numbers and rock beats will make the entire atmosphere a little bit livelier. And, it’s entertaining in a really cheesy, b-movie kind of way (which is perfect for a party ambience).
Plus, Halloween is probably the only time of year when you can watch Rocky Horror in costume and NOT feel like a complete asshole. That’s right, folks—this holiday pull on your knee-high stockings and leather bodice and get ready to do the time warp…again. I swear, it won’t be gay.*
*It will still be very gay.
Scream
For some reason, I’m a big Scream fan. It’s a tongue-in-cheek approach to all those slasher films of yore that somehow managed to revitalize the lackluster horror scene in the mid-nineties. It paid homage to a lot of really good movies, but still managed to be pretty original. Not to mention, it launched about a gazillion teen copycat films (hello, I Know What You Did Last Summer…this trend might have ended with Valentine…hopefully). For my generation, parts of this movie are iconic: creepy dude in ghost face mask. Great one-liners. Neve Campbell’s boobs (we wish…). I could go on and on…
The reason this should make an appearance at your next Halloween celebration? Well, as I said it’s a great, semi-classic, horror film. Plus, who doesn’t like seeing hot chicks running around in skimpy t-shirts screaming and making poor decisions? Uh…Rose McGowan, next time you want to get out of a garage with a deranged killer, perhaps the doggie door isn’t the best option. Just saying…
Beyond all these compelling reasons to play Scream at your next Halloween party, to be honest, sometimes I just to like to fondly remember the time when Skeet Ulrich was still employed. Ahh…those were the days!
Psycho
What can I say about Hitchcock’s classic that hasn’t already been said? Well, probably nothing. Regardless, this movie makes for excellent Halloween party decoration. Want to do it up right? Hook up a projector and turn an entire wall of your room into a shrine for Hitchcockian genius. Nothing says “Halloween” quite like watching a ten-foot Janet Leigh scream in the shower while getting stabbed multiple times. Plus, watching Psycho with a group of people gives you ample opportunity to bitch and moan about Gus Van Sant’s unnecessary 1998 remake starring Vince Vaughn and Anne Heche. I mean, seriousy, sometimes you just don’t mess with the classics. *cuts himself*
Halloween
Back in 1978 when John Carpenter was still a viable director and nobody knew that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite, a tiny little flick called Halloween graced movie screens across the country. I realize that for some this choice is just too easy. For those naysayers, I have just two words: Fuck. You.
Halloween is the perfect movie to watch on Halloween. Furthermore, it’s the perfect movie to watch at a Halloween party. It’s called Halloween. Once again, Fuck you.
The music is stellar (even with the volume low), the villain is iconic, it’s scary without displaying obsessive gore, and since the majority of people have already seen it, you won’t have to worry about it becoming a distraction. In fact, play this movie on a loop all night and you’ll probably be known as the dude/chick on the block who threw the best Halloween bash that didn’t involve Guitar Hero. Up yours, tiny plastic guitars!
There you have it, ladies and gents: The Top Five Movies to Play as Background to a Halloween party. Follow my advice, and you’re bound to throw a pretty sweet bash…or monster mash? Seriously, it won’t even phase you when some douche pukes in the punch bowl.
So, until next time, keep the list-making alive and don’t forget to lock your doors. There be spirits about…
Ivan Kander is the handsome and debonaire cohost of his very own video podcast. Check it out at www.lucky9studios.com/worstmovieever. He’s the asshole on the street who gives out dental floss to trick-or-treaters.
Editor’s Note: we almost fired him for omitting Evil Dead 2 from that list.
