The Last Airbender: How Hollywood Got It Wrong
Nothing sends a shiver up and down my spine quite like a Hollywood adaptation. Be it beloved book, video game, comic, T.V. show, toy, board game…you name it. If Hollywood gets its grubby little hands on it, there’s a pretty good chance they’re going to screw it up. Case in point from earlier this summer, the almost offensively bland Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (Jake Gyllenhaal + abs + bad parkour + eyeliner + ostriches = *yawn*) .
As we head into the July 4th weekend, it seems like those Obese Hollywood Felines are at it again with yet another adaption of a cherished geek property, Avatar: The Last Airbender. On the surface, it seems like a sure-fire win-win formula: a movie based on the smart, popular, and well-written cartoon from Nickelodeon. Easily one of the best overall television shows of the last 10 years and far beyond its scope, especially on a children’s network. I mean, how could Tinsel Town mess THAT one up? Well, kiddos, guess what? They did. They messed it up real good. Critically panned across the board, The Last Airbender makes Jonah Hex seem almost tolerable.
My hopes were initially high for this flick, but considering it’s currently tracking under 10% on Rotten Tomatoes, things aren’t looking pretty. As Sir Roger Ebert so eloquently put it his review, “The Last Airbender” is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented.” That’s a BURN, for those of you playing at home.
Believe it or not, I’m not interested in reviewing the film — no, sir, that would just be too easy. Instead, I’m going to attempt to analyze just how Hollywood got it so wrong. How did they miss by so much? Want some answers? Check out the list below.
5.) Hollywood is Tone Deaf
You know what happens when you put kids in over-dramatic, super serious situations? It looks stupid. So, just why is the Last Airbender so dang grim? Everything from the look (dark colors, drama, grr!) to the style (lots of slow motion, lots of meditating, lots of gesturing, grrr football!) reeks of unearned gravitas. The movie is so hyper-serious that it becomes laughable. After all, this is a kids’ series we’re talking about.
The Nickelodeon show was bright. It was colorful. More importantly, it was filled with humor! Yup, that’s right, it was funny! How about the movie? Nope. Not a single smirk allowed in M. Night’s version. That wouldn’t make it edgy enough. To paint this picture more vividly, imagine if the Sandlot was shot in desaturated hues of dark green and blue and Benny the Jet Rodriguez was constantly meditating and/or talking like Yoda. That’s what we get with the Last Airbender. You’re killing me, Smalls. No, I’m serious, you’re killing me.
4.) Hollywood Loves 3-D More than Cocaine
I’ve ranted about 3-D before. But, hey, let me rant again. I don’t hate the concept of 3-D… I hate the fact that it is currently being slapped on to every major motion picture release for no other reason than to make a few extra bucks on ticket sales. I loved Toy Story 3 — every glorious second of it. And, guess what? I saw it in 2D. *gasps*
Believe me, it was still as emotionally profound and moving without a dark pair of spectacles dimming my view. Granted, in the grand scheme of things, the relentless 3D advertisements for the Last Airbender are the very least of its problems, but it still annoys me. *opens up screen door and yells at the local kids to get off my lawn!*
3.) M. Night Shyamalan is Still Getting work
As much as I hate to blame the entire failure of a film solely on its director, I think it’s hard NOT to in this particular case. Remember after the Sixth Sense, when Shyamalan’s name actually used to mean something? He may be the only director in the history of cinema who managed to get everything right the first go-around…only to keep f-ing up more and more on each subsequent outing.
It’s like he’s living his career in reverse, incapable of seeing how his bad qualities have slowly consumed his good ones.
What was suspenseful, has become plodding. What was once humorous, has become stupid. What was once deep, has become shallow. Compare the Sixth Sense with the Happening. Do they even feel like they came from the same filmmaker? It’s simply mind-boggling. Unfortunately, we get more of those Shyamalan flavored diminishing returns with the Last Airbender. I want to like you, Mr. Shyamalan. I really do. So, stop screwing it all up.
2.) For Hollywood, Action Sequences > Character
There’s been much hub-bub and scandal in the pop-culture blogosphere concerning the hiring of white actors to play Asian characters. I’ll admit… it’s a pretty stupid (and offensive) move by the studio suits. But, I’m willing to look past cinematic gentrification if the performances are still at least… you know… good.
The Last Airbender has taken the strong character relationships from the series and replaced them with exposition, more exposition, and you guessed it, fight scenes! Sure, the TV series had plenty of action sequences, but they all felt organic to that particular episode’s structure. More importantly, they weren’t the only thing holding the episode together.
The movie version chucked all that “character development” in favor of slow-motion fight sequences that look like a mentally challenged version of Street fighter–with the unfortunate downside that you don’t actually get to see Chun Li’s panties. I mean, just check out the clip below and tell me that doesn’t look completely ridiculous.
1.) We are being marketed to. Not entertained.
Granted, this point isn’t exactly rocket science or groundbreaking by any stretch of the imagination. For the most part, major studios are more concerned with marketing to a profitable demographic than making a solid product. But where does this end? Dollars to donuts, The Last Airbender was greenlit strictly because it was a popular kids’ show, and had little to with creative integrity. To put this type of thinking into perspective, consider several of the following properties that have been optioned to become movies: Bazooka Joe, Battleship, Candyland, Magic Eight Ball… I could go on and on.
Call me a grumpy ol’ cynic, but does anybody actually want to see a Magic Eight Ball movie? Hollywood preys on nostalgia and familiarity — it lives off our desire to see what we already understand and know. And, to put it bluntly, how sad is that? Movies should inspire us. Challenge us. Expose us to something new.
So, why are we constantly being exposed to things we’ve already seen or recognize?
Because it’s comfortable? No.
It’s because we, as moviegoers, are lazy. Familiarity is easy. It doesn’t challenge us nor does it linger. The Last Airbender is the homogenized cinematic product that results when several talented people come together not to entertain us, but instead force feed us what we “want.”
And, that ladies and gentlemen is why Hollywood — again and again — continues to miss the point and why it is not only mostly our fault, but why it will never stop happening.
