The Felonious Feline: Ranking the Catwomen
Greetings, Batman fans. Today we’re going to delve into a minute argument that is about as geeky as the one I wrote a few weeks ago about ’90s cartoon comedies. We are, once again, going to use this weekly article of mine to look at – and rank – a series of interrelated pop culture items. The subject this week? Batman’s most famous villainess.
While it’s not as common an argument, “Who is the best Catwoman?” is just as pertinent an argument as who is the best James Bond. And while we all have our opinions on the matter, I will attempt to codify the argument, and decide, once and for all (or until the next argument begins) which of these women is the best. How is my opinion more important than yours? It isn’t, frankly. Consider this an opening to a Catwoman-related dialogue.
Catwoman is equal parts catburglar, scheming villain, and growling sexpot. And while her motives, goals, and costumes (and sometimes even origins) have changed over the years, there is still something alluringly wicked about Catwoman. To this day, you’ll find young ladies dressed as one Catwoman or another at comic book conventions and on Halloween, and the character has been planned for Christopher Nolan’s upcoming Batman flick, due out next year (which should be interesting to see, as Nolan is notorious for his boys-only approach to films). Catwoman may not be as visible as Batman or Superman or Spider-Man, but she is well-known, and everyone has their favorite.
This may seem like an unfair omission, but, for the purposes of this article, I am going to disqualify the actresses who portrayed Catwoman in any of the animated versions of Batman. I know this leaves out some really talented actresses like Gina Gershon, Nika Futterman, Eliza Dushku, Melendy Britt, and Adrienne Barbeau. While they each had their unique take on the character, and many of them could growl seductively (Gershon in particular), it seems unfair to pit a voice performance against an actress who actually tried to put on that outfit, and actually do the gymnastics involved in kicking ass. No offense, my good women, but I’m leaving you for another article.
It also turns out that there are, naturally, a spate of international Batman ripoffs floating around in the world. Turkey, well-known for its famed ripoffs, has had several native Catwomen, and there are a few Filipino Batman productions in the world, with actresses with porny sounding names in the role. I have seen many films, but sadly, these are out of my purview. I will have to let them be for the time being.
There were, then, six actresses to have played the role on camera. Let’s start.
6) Anne Hathaway
from “The Dark Knight Rises” (2012)
She is low on the list because, well, we haven’t seen her yet. She still gets a mention, however, as she’s a good actress, and it’s fun to contemplate the woman in the cat costume. Hathaway has large, pretty eyes, long pretty legs, and a sweetness that can easily be offset by a very natural bitchiness, which is how I often picture Catwoman. I don’t know what plans Nolan has for the character, although it would be nice to see Batman faced with a strong female equal, rather than a series of hectoring girlfriends and damsels in distress.
According to internet rumors (and take that with as much salt as such a phrase would naturally inspire), she will be less a scheming bad guy, and more common thief in a cat suit. Depending on which comics you grew up reading, this is faithful to the character. Although she is all potential energy at this point, Hathaway should, at least, get a mentuion.
5) Halle Berry
from “Catwoman” (2004)
Pitof’s 2004 Prada orgy of a superhero flick is one of the most glitzy and breathtaking awesome pieces of misguided blockbuster bait that has come out in the last decade. What purports to be a shallow grrrl-power polemic plays more like an indulgent fantasy for diamond-loving, well-coiffed, make-up-obsessed, Cosmo-reading socialites who ever had the briefest flash of a superhero fantasy. In this film, Catwoman’s cat claws have bling on them. She wears leather pants and a $400 brassiere. What’s more, she seems to have strange mutant cat powers, which is a quality none of the other Catwomen possess.
In the role, Halle Berry looks fantastic. She looks good in the outfit, however silly it may look to even the most casual of comic book fans. She prowls and swaggers and cleans herself with her tongue. Her pupils occasionally turn into little slits. In terms of catness, Berry has it down pat. Also down pat is her indulgence in the film’s themes of shallow diamond acquisition, and the debutante’s preoccupation with landing a man. If you ever wanted a Catwoman for your spoiled Beverly Hills brat, Berry is the one for you.
This Catwoman (named Patience Phillips in this version) is so bugnuts crazy that I was tempted to bump her up the list, but the film is not quite HFS enough to warrant such a promotion. Sorry Halle, you were great, but the movie… no so much.
4) Julie Newmar
from “Batman” (1966)
Newmar played Minerva Matthews on 13 episodes of the iconic 1966 “Batman” TV series. I have heard numerous kids, of various ages, genders, and sexualities, express how seeing Newmar in her Catwoman outfit was enough to make them feel their very first sexual stirrings. She is the object of desire. The sexbomb. No so much wicked, as tempting. Newmar may not have brought much to the role, but, for many, bringing her body to the role was quite enough.
She was a model before she became an actress, but she was natural enough a performer, that she still played her parts well. What’s more, Newmar had a rather goofy sense of humor that played in well to the show’s strong-headed campiness. She would vamp it up to no end, which would, rather than stand out like scenery chewing, be folded into the show’s tone.
Newmar left after her start in “Batman” to pursue other things, leaving her biggest fans high and dry. While I like Newmar a lot, and, yes, agree that her catsuit was an important moment for many youngsters, I still feel that other actresses sank their teeth in a little deeper.
3) Lee Meriwether
from “Batman: The Movie” (1966)
Lee Meriwether did not play Catwoman in the “Batman” TV series (although she was in two episodes as a character named Lisa) But in the 1966 “Batman” feature film, she played a conniving villainess who disguised herself as a Russian reporter named KITKA (which is the Russian word for cat). Her Russian accent was wonderfully hammy, and her Russian outfits, equally so.
As Catwoman, though, she may not have has the popularly minxy figure of her TV ciounterpart, but she could growl even better, and brought an amount of glee to the role that actresses rarely disaply. Indeed, that was the most alluring aspect of the 1966 film: Classy and talented actors allowing themselves to cut loose. You could see the relief on their faces, and the joy in their roles. Meriwether, spending her time with a maniac like Frank Gorshin, a class act like Cesar Romero, and an old guard like Burgess Meredith was able to match all of them.
Meriwther was one of those hard-working television actresses whose resume is longer than entire autobiographies. She has a professionalism that I really admire, and she’s a delight to see, if you should accidentally catch her on old reruns.
Plus, she was the only Catwoman to actively seduce Bruce Wayne. Using a buggy ride and sexy talk. That’s no easy feat.
2) Michelle Pfeiffer
from “Batman Returns” (1992)
I love Michelle Pfeiffer’s performance in Tim Burton’s notoriously tragic “Batman Returns.” One of the ongoing conceits of the Batman universe is that his rivals are rarely superpowered dominators, and are more often regular, intelligent people who just snapped one day, and decided that world conquest/thievery/murder were the more logical courses of action. The bad guys don’t go to prison, they go to an asylum. Insanity is a powerfully dark undercurrent to all things Batman.
What Pfeiffer brings to the role of Selina Kyle is that unhinged weirdness that is so often lacking from the role. She shrieks like a maniac, prowls like a panther, and wears needle-thin claws over the festishistic outfit. She has no motive to dominate the city, to make a big score, or to even accomplish much. She is out to explore a twisted half of herself, giving vent to her madness. Pfeiffer is a hellcat in every sense of the word, and “Batman Returns” is a wonderfully hellish superhero movie.
Oh yes, about that outfit. Newmar may have stated our puberty, but Pfeiffer finished it. Even to this day, you can’t go into a sex shop, and not find a Catwoman outfit, similar to the leather vinyl number worn by Pfeiffer. All of the Catwomen have an element of sex, but Pfeiffer lent a darkness to the sexuality that hasn’t been seen since.
1) Eartha Kitt
from “Batman” (1968)
Yes, Eartha Kitt is clearly the champion in this contest. Kitt, a Harlem girl and daughter of a slave, started her showbiz career in earnest as a lounge singer in the 1950s, and quickly became a hit both here and in Parisian nightclubs. Lounge singers were already accustomed to prowling and growling on a stage in front of dozens of lecherous men, so the innovation to put that immediate sexual energy into a Catwoman suit and put her on TV is an inspired move.
Even though all the other actresses on this list are hardworking women, and each have their talents, few of them possess the sheer amount of life that Kitt had. Kitt lived hard, experienced a lot, and came out on the other side with a twinkle in her eye, and an uncanny ability to seduce with a wink and a nod. Watch her video of “Santa, Baby” at some point. It’s a weird mashup of fetish, innocence, virtosic singing, and a clear-eyed sexuality. Kitt was an amazing woman.
As Catwoman, she brought forth every last bit of that life, making for a growling, awesom villainess that you’d love to hang out with, even when she was threatening to kill you. Like Newmar, she was sexy. Like Meriwether, she was a pro. Like Pfeiffer, she was menacing. And that she was a black actress captuing all that in the 1960s only gives her more credit.
Eartha Kitt. The best Catwoman.
Honorable Mention: Sean Young
When Tim Burton was still casting the role for “Batman Returns,” so the notorious story goes, Sean Young, famously hard to work with, kind of bitchy, and a ferocious performer, campaigned for the part by charging into Burton’s office in a Catwoman outfit she made herself, cracking a whip, and hissing at interns. She was, essentially, giving a freelance audition for the role under her own steam. She really, really wanted the role, and was willing to to go for the jugular.
Sadly, the ploy didn’t work, and Young’s performance went down on a list of why not to hire her. In my eyes, that kind of nutty, violent boldness is what I’d want out of my actresses, and Young would have certainly won me over. We would have lost a very good Catwoman from Michelle Pfeiffer, but Young could have brought the crazy just as well. As it stands, we Catwoman fans can merely sit back and dream of what might have been.
Witney Seibold is a critic and writer and layabout who lives in Los Angeles with his imaginary cats. He likes old books, old movies, and old video games. He’s an old man. When he’s not making lists for Geekscape, he is maintaining an occasional upkeep on his ‘blog, Three Cheers for Darkened Years! He is also one half of The B-Movies Podcast on Crave Online, which you should be listening to. He thanks you for your attention.
