The 10 Greatest True Blood Season 3 Moments
This past weekend saw the third season finale of HBO’s True Blood. While the finale itself was a wee little bit on the underwhelming side (although with one or two choice moments, some which might end up on this list) the season as a whole was easily their best yet, with the insanity level ramped up to an all time high. Original characters were put through the ringer, while new cast members were brought on that were some of the best this show has ever had. Sure, some things this season didn’t really work (The Fairy world looked lame as hell, and the less said about Jason’s new girl this season the better) But still, this show remains as addictive as crack, and it is gonna be a long nine months till Season Four starts. In the meantime, here are my personal Top Ten Awesome Moments from Season 3 of True Blood. Needless to say, if you are one of those people who has not seen the whole season yet or wait till DVD, massive SPOILERS here folks…..
10. Hoyt Fortenberry Sucker Punches Tommy Mickens
If there is one couple you can always root for on True Blood, it is “Aw, shucks” country bumpkin Hoyt Fortenberry and his baby vamp girlfriend Jessica Hamby. Because they were seperated for most of this season (Jess accidently killed a trucker. It happens) Sam Merlotte’s newly discovered white trash baby brother Tommy was always trying to use the opportunity of the broken up pair to get into Jessica’s shorts. After finally sticking his nose where it didn’t belong one time too many, Hoyt does what the audience has been wanting to do to Tommy all season long, and sucker punches his ass.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ms3QyN8LRqY
9. Sookie Stakes Lorena
Lorena: “What ARE you??“
Sookie: “I’m the Bitch who’s gonna kill you.”
Trust me, this bitch had it comin’.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7SY-nspGQQ
8. Eric Northman Goes All Superman, Saves Lafayette
After sparing his life last season, vampire Sheriff Eric Northman enlists Lafayette Reynolds in selling illegal vampire blood (or just “V” for the uninitiated) When a drug deal in the hillbilly white trash town of Hot Shot results in a potential gay bashing, Eric swoops in from the sky like Superman and saves Lafayatte as if her were a gay black Lois Lane. God, Eric is cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I12eV3SuLeI
7. Alcide Takes Off His Shirt. A Lot.
Look, some characters are just meant to be really good eye candy. On True Blood, Missisipi werewolf Alcide Herveux is that character. Sent early on in the season by Eric Northman to protect Sookie during daylight hours, Alcide is the normal (well, mortal anyway) guy that vampires Bill and Eric can never be for Sook. Frankly, anytime his shirt is off or he is just plain naked, the show is a little bit better. Oh, and in the True Blood/Twilight franchise war over which almost always shirtless werewolf is hotter? Joe Manganiello is 6’5 of pure hotness, and that Taylor Lautner kid is not even legal, or at least wasn’t when those movies were made. And so the winnah is……
6. Jessica Gets Hungry, Feeds On An Annoying Customer
Baby vampire Jessica Hamby has a hard time with her new job as a server at Merlotte’s, mostly due to waitress Arlene’s intense vampaphobia. In one of my favorite moments of the season, Jess tries to ingratiate herself with Arlene AND get a little snack too…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq51EnxYm_M
5. King Russell and Queen Sophie Anne Get Married/Decapitation
Russell Edgington, Vampire King of Missisipi, decides to marry Queen Sophie Anne of Louisiana in a political marriage so he can start gaining vampire territory and taking on the mysterious vampire “Authority”. After administiring the ceremony, Russell sees no use for the Vampire Magister, and makes his head go PLOP.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMqXAL4BgpM
4. Eric and Talbot Get It On, Eric Stakes Talbot From Behind
So the long coming gay sex scene on True Blood did not come from gay character Lafayette and his new boyfriend Jesus, but instead it came when Eric Northman decides to seduce Russell’s consort Talbot, and then in a moment of revenge against Russell Edginton (who killed his human family over a thousand years ago) decides to stake Talbot just as he’s about to get fucked. Best part: Eric stakes Talbot with a scroll of 16th Century Japanese Vampire Erotica.
3. Bill and His Vampire Maker Lorena Have Hate Sex
There might not be a better example of on screen “hate fucking” than when Bill Compton had sex with hated vampire maker Lorena and turned her head all the way around, Linda Blair style. This one will probably go down as one of the all time True Blood wtf moments. Lorena didn’t seem to mind much, right after she said it was the best sex she had in decades. Afterwards Bill called her a tiresome cow and punched her in the face. Which sounds bad, but last season he hit her over the head with a flat screen tv, I totally think that’s worse.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KENsJoCy6Qk&feature=related
2. Franklin Shows How to Type the Word “Mothafucka”
there were many new cast additions this season on True Blood (some say too many) but in my opinion the standout character had to be vampire “procurer” Franklin Mott, played by the awesome James Frain. An over the top Brit sociopath vamp that you could not help but love, even as he kindnapped, tied up, and forced himself on poor Tara Thornton. My favorite moment of Franklin insanity had to be when he decided to show off to his beloved Tara just how fast he could type the word “mothafucka” on her cell in a message to her cousin LaFayette. And then deleted it…just so he could show her all over again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xwws7FvqtIY
1. “And Now, Time For The Weather….Tiffany?”
True Blood’s best cliffhanger of the season, and maybe their best moment ever. And possibly one of the best, most memorable moments in television history. This act, this awesome, awesome act brought True Blood to a whole new level. It brought it national. That’s right, we’re out of the South and in the world. The King threatened the world. He set vampires back years in the media and didn’t think twice. Why is this so awesome? Well, because of the realm of possibility that now exists on this show.
I mean think about it: there’s a King and a Queen for every state, right? We only know one of each from two different places at this point. Not to mention the amount of Eric Northmans there probably are walking around. They hand out vampire positions of power like FourSquare does merit badges. And there’s only more to be seen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONoB7x_Q53o
Honorable Mentions:
The awesome Catfight between Sookie and Were-bitch Debbie. Totally better than that one between Ali Larter and Beyonce in Obsessed.
Anytime Vampire Pam or Lafayette Reynolds said just about anything. Sometimes I wish these two just had their own show. You know you’d watch it.
In the season finale, Sookie shoves Talbot’s remains in the garbage disposal in front of a screaming, burnt up husk that was once Russell. You go Sookie.
Sookie walks in on Eric having crazy vamp speed sex with his new stripper Yvetta. This gets a mention mostly as this is our first fully naked Eric Northman on the show.
