Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #8 – Spartan Laser
Isn’t it funny when someone takes a laser pointer to a concert and makes it look like Tinkerbell is dancing on the lead singer’s junk? This is the one I wish someone would take to an American Idol taping. The Spartan laser is hell in a bottle. Get ready to start pouring it out all over your dead homeboys.
The Spartan laser, or “Splaser” as it is called by the biggest of dorks, has a few quirks to it that you need to get used to before you can dole out the damage. Here are some tips that will make it easier for you to make your friends inclined to call you a cheater.
This week in Teabag Prevention: The Spartan Laser
Tip #1: THEY CHARGE YOU BY THE HOUR
Much like Brian Gilmore’s average sexual encounters, the laser has a three second charge time that is required before every shot. Get used to it. If you somehow get into a cross map game of laser tag, knowing this three seconds deep down in your bones will keep you alive.
Tip #2: NO FREE REFILLS
The laser doesn’t use “ammo” like most weapons, but instead has a battery. A battery is full at 100 with each shot taking 20 away for a total of FIVE shots per laser. Keep track of these not only for your own laser, but also be sure to let your teammates know if you get taken out with the opponent’s. If you die via laser, then the opposing team can have no more than 4 shots left. Be sure to play on the conservative side until you know it’s safe for your team to start with the razzle-dazzle.
Another way to piss off the enemy with the laser would be to toss up a bubble shield. On maps like Sandtrap, it may be difficult for the other enemy to see the bubble shield from far away. Also, this may require Jedi reflexes:
Tip #3: USE A TRIPOD
The best way to use the laser is to plant your feet and follow your enemy. There is no need to “lead”, or shoot where your opponent is GOING to be, because it’s a fucking LASER right? Speed of light anyone? Anyone? Bueller? While this can be true, if you can anticipate where your opponent will be as opposed to where they are you won’t give them much chance to hide. While someone is “painted” (the laser is aimed at them and charging) they hear a distinct high pitch tone. Let them find out as opposed to telling them in advance. Here’s an example on my file share. I was pinned down by a fully loaded warthog, but anticipated their path and added two notches to my bedpost:
http://www.bungie.net/forums/posts.aspx?h3fileid=18056634
TIP #4 UNLEASH THE FURY
The same shot that you used to kill one enemy on foot could have been used to kill four people at once, blow up two vehicles, stop a bomb carrier, and get a killing spree. The laser is a POWER weapon, but only as powerful as you allow it to be. This is a clip of a friend of mine doing all of the above:
http://www.bungie.net/forums/posts.aspx?h3fileid=18066886
TIP #5 ABUSE PREDICATBILITY
Say you’re in a smaller map map, such as Construct, the laser isnt as good as a weapon as it would be if you were out in an open map such as Vallhalla or Avalance…or is it?
Walkng around with the laser, charging it even before you see the enemy, can be helpful. In the screenshot below, notice how the arrow is pointing to the midsection of the outer circle.
When they’re running out, you’ll have your laser charged by then.
Then…..
…they’ll have no choice but to walk into the light.
Things to Remember:
1. 3-second Rule: The laser takes three seconds to shoot. Plan accordingly.
2. The Laser has limited ammo, so use accordingly.
3. I’ve got the power! Make sure you realize you can stand still and aim accordingly (mostly on big maps).
4. Plan your kills accordingly. Use the laser to its maximum potential.
5. Anticipate your opponents’ trajectory. They’ll never know what hit them…until you do.
This week’s Teabag Prevention article was written by:
jake108
Edited by:
Brian Gilmore
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TeabagPrevention@gmail.com
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