Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #4 – Pull Pin and Throw
Halo 3 presents you with a palette covered in paints. Most of them naturally draw the human eye. The brilliant hues of the Spartan Laser and the calming shades of the Energy Sword make for very elaborate and fanciful works of art. While you use these paints to astonish your friends there are those of us who prefer using the other end of the color spectrum and, while these colors may be perceived as bland, we view them as beautiful. As much as many deny it, grenades are without a doubt one of the most devastating weapons in any Spartan’s arsenal (I emphasize Spartan, because if you use the elite model you should take your copy of Halo 3 and throw it straight into the garbage. Seriously). There can be no light without dark, and we think any true Halo artist must appreciate the contributions made by grenades. It’s time to stop thinking about your individual paintings and start concentrating on your entire body of work. Hopefully this little guide will help you start churning out explosive masterpieces time and time again…
The remainder of this article will be totally without art metaphors. In fact, to ensure our masculinity remains intact, here’s a hot babe:
Now, before we can give tips on how to effectively use grenades, it’s important to know the various types that are offered in the game. We will do just that in this week’s Teabag Prevention.
THIS WEEK: GRENADES!
Frag Grenades
Nothing fancy here. If it explodes near you your shield will go bye-bye. Interestingly enough, the same thing will happen to your opponents. A well placed frag works just as well as a body shot with a sniper rifle, leaving opponents essentially naked and lubed up for one good burst from your battle rifle.
Tip #1 – EXPLODILE DYSFUNCTION
There is a slight delay that is triggered once the grenade makes contact with the ground. Walls, ledges, and ceilings don’t count so be sure to toss a few of these around a corner to clear out an area before you go charging in.
Once you get the timing down you’ll be leaving a trail of dust between you and those dead people behind you.
Tip #2 – BOUNCING BABY BOMB
As you just learned: frag grenades bounce. This is very important. Practice this and use it in every which way imaginable. Get creative with your angles and you’ll see amazing results. They’re also a valuable tool in disabling your enemy’s shield before they disable yours. This tip is closely related to last weeks Tip #1. In cased you missed it, here it is (the main difference is the bounce…practice your bounce, learn your geometry and dominate your bitches before they even see it coming):
http://geekscape.net/features/view.php?featureID=199fdff52dc40ac7d8a12f5a02e9b91e
Plasma Grenades
Soo pretty!
Quite possibly the best weapon in the game. What else can blow up an entire vehicle and kill everything inside it? Quite a few things, actually, but THIS one lets you do it with style. Unlike its human cousin the frag grenade, the plasma, or “sticky” actually has the capacity to guarantee a kill. The explosion is more powerful than the frag, and splash damage alone can do the job. The real fun comes in how the sticky got its name. If it comes into contact with an enemy it makes instant friends with him, but quickly realizes that guy took naked pictures of his sister and explodes in anger. The problem with this, however, is that anyone who gets stuck instantly becomes a suicide bomber. Know that using these may actually result in a kill for BOTH teams if you’re not careful. There’s a three second timer that starts the moment it’s activated. That’s all the time you have to prevent that jerkoff on the other team from becoming a martyr.
Tip #3 – THE ‘OL STICK OR FLIP
So you’re rushing the Spartan Laser spawn on Valhalla. A Warthog is barraling at you at full speed. You have two options:
Throw a grenade into the path of the Warthog, which will make it flip, and make the occupants easy targtes.
or
Go out with a bang. Simply stick the Warthog,
ideally the driver, but you might not survive it.
Spike Grenades
I’m not crying, I just got something in my eye.
A very close relative of the Plasma grenade, the Spike can also guarantee a kill if your opponent gets stuck. Unlike the others, though, the Spike will stick to any surface it comes into contact with. Learn to use this as you run around corners to drain off a pursuing opponent’s shield. There are few things more satisfying in the entire Halo universe than the squishy thud you hear that says “Nice Spike throw buddy. Now sit back and watch that guy blow up.”
Tip #4 – LUCY! YOU GOT SOME ‘SPLODIN TO DO!
The spike grenade blows out the top, therefore, to kill people effectively, throw it on a wall behind them. The nade will blow out the top, straight at the target. Also, throw a nade at the opposite wall of a doorway if you’re being chased. (Courtesy of Nick)
Also, it’s actually heavier than the others, so you’ll need to aim higher than normal to land a direct hit. You’ll need to level your crosshair slightly above or enemy like so:
Also make sure you throw it into the direction they’re heading.
This will ensure an accurate hit and will adequately account for the relative weight of the grenade itself versus what you are used to.
Fire Bomb Grenades
It’s a grenade that makes fire – much like a molotov cocktail – but don’t bother. Bungie toyed with our emotions when they put this in the game. As of right now, it’s not available at all in matchmaking. The only time you’ll see one of these is in a custom game. If you WERE to come across it, know that you can use it to trap enemies in an area or to stop their pursuit of you. Once it comes into contact with anything it sends out a patch of fire that will take down pretty much anyone who is unfortunate enough to be near it.
Tip #5 – SPARTAN’S INFERNO
Firebomb grenades can be used for a variety of things that, sometimes, aren’t meant to kill. When playing an objective game, such as Oddball for example, you can use this grenade to set up a barrier made of fire. All you have to do is toss it to the ground.
Once that’s done, you can either make a getaway like so:
or
stay to see if your enemy will charge through the fire. If they do charge, they may or may not catch on fire themselvs, but they will get hurt. Either way, they’re going to be yours, because you have funneled them into a path that you have chosen for them. Since this was your choice, use it to your advantage to hit these jerks hard and kill them before they can even see the fire fading from their faces.
So practice your bouncing, sticking, and height adjustments enough to dominate those guys who throw their grenades behind you instead of in front of you. After you perfect these steps you’ll be eating everyone you play with for breakfast, well-done.
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