Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #11 – Equipment

In the months before Halo 3’s beta release, the mysterious “X button” fuction plagued the interwebs. Ridiculous rumors were spread far and wide. Once it was even believed that its function was to steal an oppenent’s weapon while it was attached to their back.

Then, we were told that this new function would change the way Halo is played. This left many wondering if a 3rd person camera view was open to a push of a button. After videos of leaked footage emerged, we soon found out what the answer was.

On May 16, 2007, Halo players were giddy to use this…

THIS WEEK – EQUIPMENT

BUBBLE SHIELD

Tip #1 APARTMENTS FROM THE FUTURE!…

Use the Bubble Shield as a means of getting closer to your opponents or to your most prized weapon. When you’re in an area that’s hot like mama’s freshly baked cookies and you want to get there, use the Bubble Shield as a ways to extend your safety. Toss it away from yourself and as far forward to your objective as possible. To do this, look up into the sky and toss it into the air. Once you’ve deployed it, and reached it safely, you will be nice and cozy in your new temporary home.

 

Tip #2 – …THEY ALSO COME WITH LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES!

When you’re low on shields and being chased by the man it is always a good idea to deploy a Bubble Shield to or near your destination, just like the above tip. The difference here is that once you see your opponent approaching you’re going to toss a grenade of any sort inside your own shield…

Jump out once your opponent is in in. You are now on the offense. The shield will explode, along with their face. You have now handed out some Exploding-flavored pain to them while you remain completely unharmed. Your next move is to then jump back into the fight and finish the yorb since they are now completely helpless – if they’re not already dead, that is.

Tip #3 – BITE OFF WHAT YOU CAN CHEW

Bubble shields do not stop road rage so DO NOT use them for protection against mobile objects themselves. DO use them against a vehicle’s weaponry. When under heavy fire from a vehicle you should toss a shield, while avoiding the vehicle of course, and either “stick em” or raid their vehicle. It is protection against the vehicle’s fire power, not the vehicle itself. Don’t just stand there, shoot the bitches.

And hope for the best…

 

Note: The Bubble Shield lasts for a total of 20 seconds.

REGENERATOR

Tip #4 – A SNIPER’S BEST FRIEND

This handy tool gets put to good use in long-range combat situations. Let’s say you end up without any protection and all you have is a sniper rifle. This will keep your shields in tact and provide extra support under fire so that you are very powerful (but not invulnerable) when taking out your enemies from afar.

Also when things become close range, you can still use the sniper to get a no scope and melee. Whenever in a hand-to-hand fight in a regenerator, you have the higher advantage of defeating the opponent if you fire at them first and then whack. Fire then whack. Fire. Then whack. Or just two consecutive whacks. Just make sure you keep your whacking high, otherwise you’re done for…what?

Tip #5 – EXPLOSIVE, BUT DEADLY…

Unfortunately the regenerator doesnt have the speed to heal you when you are hit by explosives, so the more explosive weapons like Rockets, Grenades, and The Brute Shot are more capable of killing you while you’re in a regenerator. Be wary of that.

High powered or high rated firing weapons, such as the Machine Gun Turrent or Needler, are also capable of killing you in the regenerator. These must be used to their full potential, though. Here’s an example of me using a grenade to its fullest potential…

Not so safe now, are you?

 

Notes:

– Using the regenerator as an added element of surprise in long-range battles works great. So does staying with a teammate and actually using the regenerator selflessly to heal.

– You can still die under fire by BR’s and/or Carbines. Needlers are the quickest and most effective weapons when playing against someone in a Regenerator.

– The Regenerator also lasts a total of 20 seconds.

Teabag Prevention Bonus Tip!…THE FLARE

FLARE

Tip #6 – OH TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOOOOOOOOOOW!

Much like Phil Collins, The Flare is taken out of basically all of matchmaking – so this tip will be mostly for you custom matches fanatics. We see too many people misusing these, so here’s how to be smart about The Flare.
The Flare obviously takes out your vision. That is its only function. What you’re left with after you deploy or are faced with a Flare is that it does not take out your radar and your reticule or crosshair. The crosshairs will still turn red when an enemy is in them. Take advantage of this when under the Flare’s warming light. Stop looking in front of you and use only your radar and crosshair. This is the best defensive tactic in a Flare situation aside from just leaving the affected area.

 

Tip #7 -DON’T LOOK AT ME WHILE I’M SHOOTING YOU

When you have a short ranged weapon or uber powerful one, use the Flare to disorient your opponent, but pay attention to where they are or where they are heading because you will be slighlty blinded yourself. So once the Flare is in effect, blast away my friend.

The Flare is also very effective in large groups or flag/bomb games. See a bunch of people guarding the flag? Throw the flare down. By the time the Flare’s gone, their flag is too. Just make sure to divert your own eyes – the Flare will blind the player who throws it, too (we can’t stress this enough).

Things to Remember

1. Your Bubble Shield will help you get places unharmed. Not camp out.

2. Bubble Shields will protect against vehicles’ weapons, not the vehicles themselves. Use this to defeat vehicles.

3. Whack off inside a Regenerator.

4. Needlers will kill people in Regenerators. So will Rockets. And Sniping. And well-thrown Grenades.

5. Flares will blind you too, so make sure you’re looking at the right stuff – Your Radar and Your Crosshair.

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention article was written by:

 

 

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention article, as always, was edited by:

 

 

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