Tabletop Tales: ‘Pokéthulhu’
If there was ever the perfect invention for gaming, it was giving us things to collect. People love collecting things, I know I do! That’s probably why Pokémon nearly took over the world in the late 90’s, as it was literally a show, cardgame, and series of gameboy games with the sole purpose of collecting creatures, using them to fight other creatures, and getting a bunch of shiny objects to help us collect more monsters. Why, there is almost nothing you can do to make it better, short of mixing it with Cthulhu. Cumberland Games brings us Pokéthulhu, illustrated by John Kovalic of Dork Tower and Munchkin fame.
The world of Pokéthulhu takes the concept of collecting monsters and vigorously mixes it with H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu mythos. Players are Pokécultists, young children that have found a Pokénomicon and Shining Dodecahedrons and use them to capture and use Pokéthulu. You see, Pokéthulhu scare older people, but kids are unaffected. The eventual goal of all Pokéthulhu Cultists is to become a master, and what better way than to journey forth and collect Elder Badges.
The more you know about Pokémon, the funnier the game is, but really you can get away with just knowing about Lovecraft. There is no concrete lore used in the game, it’s expected of the players and gamemaster to go wild with their imaginations and just enjoy the game for what it is: playing psychotic children that pit fight other psychotic children with eldritch monsters for entertainment.
Characters have six different Statistics: Grade Level, Sanity, Phys Ed, Pokéthulu Lore, Shoplifting, and Trash Talking. Every kid also has a preferred Aspect, which is an overall type of Pokéthulhu and represents supernatural energy. The rules are simple, tasks consist of rolling a few D12’s, and you want to roll under your statistic. In combat, your Pokéthulhu Lore works in conjunction with your Pokéthulhu’s attributes. Every one of the darling non-euclidean monstrosities has a Power, Speed, and Hit-Point rating. There are also four types of attacks, each with their own ratings. Injure deals hit point damage, Trap binds the enemy, Dodge regains hit points from attacks, and Frighten attempts to end the battle by scaring the enemy away.
Pokéthulhu is completely free, and available on the author’s website. The games rules are amazingly simple and its a way to enjoy playing a Pokémon rpg without actually knowing anything about Pokémon, and while being cool. Go go Blhastur!
