Pulp Science: Super Soldier Suits FTW

The trailer for the upcoming G.I. Joe film includes this piece of titilating action flick dialogue:

“Standing in front of you are Delta Six Accelerator Suits.”

“What’s it accelerate?”

“You.”

Cue the DARPA stiffy.

This got me wondering if there’s any super soldier suits being developed now that can increase human strength, speed, and endurance… Because I always wanted to be a frakkin’ G.I. Joe.

Cyberdyne’s Robot Suit HAL (Hybrid Assistive Limb) is “a cyborg-type robot that can expand and improve physical capability.” Cool. Guess what else it improves? My chances at kicking Destro’s beryllium ass back to the Scottish highlands.

Can any comic book nerd look at this suit without thinking of all those times (s)he cried himself to sleep, wishing (s)he was Iron Man? Dude, we’re halfway there — just add a freaking jetpack!

The company says the suit is designed to be used for boring stuff like physical rehab, heavy labor at factories, blah blah blah. Dude — hello? What about crime fighting? Has no one seen Robocop?

They also recommend HAL users stay inside for “safety.” Are you shitting me? You create a cyborg exoskeleton suit that multiplies my normal strength by 10, and then tell me not to go outside and show off how badass I am?

The suit is available (for now) only in Japan, and rents for $1000 a month. Start saving, fanboys — I expect some Robot Jox-style backyard brawl tournaments when this baby hits The States!

Then there’s the Raytheon Sarcos Exoskeleton, which could indeed lead to a legion of half-man, half-machine storm troopers.

Built from a combination of sensors, actuators and controllers, the futuristic suit enables a user to easily carry a man on his back or lift 200 pounds several hundred times without tiring. Yet the suit, which is being developed for the U.S. Army, is also agile enough to let its wearer kick a soccer ball, punch a speed bag, and climb stairs and ramps with ease. Who else wants one?!