Longbox Thoughts: Batman #707, Amazing Spider-Man #654.1, & More!
What’s the big news this week?
A new trailer for “Thor” – or as I like to call it, “Masters of the (Marvel) Universe”. I refer, of course to the Dolph Lundgren-powered masterpiece from the 80s with which “Thor” seems to share a lot of similarity.
This time, however, we have a lead actor with a little less personality and Natalie Portman filling in for the luscious 80s-era Courtney Cox. Oh, and no Billy Barty.
Well, for me, the biggest news is Hugh Jackman juicing up to play Wolverine. The stench of Bryan Singer drifts further into the ether. Close that hole in the ozone on your way out, BS. Thanks.
This week, I had a pretty heavy load. I also bought a lot of comics. It turned out I was reviewing too many books I liked, so I was assigned some this time around. I’m OK with that. The problem was that I left my assignment list at home and ended up only remembering two and just getting all the ones I usually get.
Without further ado, my rouge version of Long Box Thoughts!
HELLBLAZER #276
The first post-marriage issue! In the earlier runs of this series, Hellblazer found a good rhythm of extended arcs and one-shot stories. When Garth Ennis took over and the Age of Trades began, the arcs took over for the most part with one-shot stories pretty much dying out.
This issue is both part of the JC/Epiphany arc and a one-shot story in the best tradition of everyone’s favorite bastard. The premise is pretty simple: John is getting evicted from his apartment and works some magic to mess with the guy in charge of the redevelopment project threatening his home. There’s some other stuff about a druid that sets everything in motion, but this story is really about John messing with some twat out to screw him.
I just love the Simon Bisley art. I’m not hip or patient enough to say that I’ve been a fan of his sine the 2000 AD days, but I have enjoyed his work since “LOBO” and that’s quite a long time. The coloring by Brian Buccellato really gives the Biz’s art some weight and structure. Every frame is a treat.
Anyway, yeah. Hellblazer. Do it.
S.H.I.E.L.D #6
WTF.
BATMAN #707
THIS is some Bat-action! Swords, fighting, chicks, near-death escapes. The Bat-books have really come around since Pilgrim Batman! Sensei dons the mask of the beholder and all hell breaks loose! The art is amazing and the action is almost non-stop. I’m really liking the post-Final Crisis Bat books. I think that making Dick Grayson the Batman for Gotham was a stroke of genius. I love the new Robin and everyone on the creative staffs has seemed to really stepped up their games.
I argue often about how DC is better than Marvel. My challenge to the Zombies is always to name three iconic-level Marvel characters to match Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. I’m talking “hut-level” popularity here. Meaning that if you went into a hut in Africa and showed the inhabitants a picture of Michael Jordan, they’d probably know him. Michael Jackson, they’ve got Thriller. Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman are all hut-level characters. Marvel probably has one: Spider-Man.
I mean, Supes and Wonder Woman are kind of faltering on the quality front. Leather jackets and Forrest Kent aren’t really working the magic they should be, but Batman books have been kicking ass. Way to go to keep the character relevant, DC. I mean, I’m pretty far from picking up any Bat-title on faith (except maybe “Batman and Robin”), but to bring me back to the fold in any way is an accomplishment. I’m a hard ass when it comes to my credit-spending, so anyway.
FABLES #102
OK, JL, I know I reviewed a FABLES book last week, but that was a miniseries. This is the continuation of the main storyline and it’s… um… yeah.
I mean, it starts off enigmatically and stuff. “Six months later…” and so on. I’ve come to learn to trust Fables when it goes off in weird directions.
I am of the belief that there is no one more passionate than a convert. I am a convert to this book.
I only mildly liked the first story arc and then skipped the rest of it until recently when I read every trade there is to catch up and then got hooked on the clever use of literature, the bold assertions about the nature of these characters’ world and the daring storytelling.
This issue finds Bigby returning to Haven to find Ozma working with Pinocchio to thwart the efforts of Mr. Dark by assembling a “super team” build on the precepts of comic books. Meanwhile, Mr. Dark is working at the borders of Flycatcher’s hidden kingdom and it looks like he might be gaining some advantage.
If this makes any sense to you, then you know you must pick up this book. If it doesn’t, then stick around for the next review. It’s probably more your speed.
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #654.1
The “.1” is supposed to mean that anyone can just jump into this storyline and be OK. I don’t see how that’s possible since there are many threads that obviously rely on the reader knowing, at least in passing, what’s been happening in the Spidey universe.
Which makes me the perfect person to review this issue. The last Spider-Man anything I read was the “One More Day” trade paperback. I will talk about this issue like anyone reading this knows nothing about Spider-Man and then see if this is really a point at which any uneducated reader can just “jump on” and be OK.
So, to recap (or introduce): Flash Thompson is a major character, legless war vet and Venom. Apparently they’ve harnessed the Venom symbiote for use as a weapon.
Flash Thompson was a bully we saw briefly in the origin of Spidey who disliked Peter Parker (Spider-Man’s real identity). This issue has a short expository note at the beginning explaining that Flash lost his legs in the Iraq wars.
Venom is an alien symbiote that Peter Parker picked up in the awesome Marvel cross-over event “Secret Wars II”. At first it was all cool and black and then it tried to merge with Peter, fell in love with him and then was removed.
I’m just going to stop with my experiment right there. This is NOT the perfect jumping-on point for anyone. It’s a way to sell older trade paperbacks and/or digital back issues by offering tantalizing tidbits about recent story developments. It’s also a blatant commercial for the upcoming “Venom” solo book (another one?).
I mean, I’m cool with that, just say what it is. No need to lie. Of course, Marvel’s demos are probably pretty susceptible to this kind of crap, so I guess it’s their fault for liking stupid comics.
It really seems that Marvel is going for the Twilight-level readers with a lot of its stuff recently. Good for them! The key to survival is to brand people when they’re at that critical consumer age-range of 12-17. I don’t have to like it and it’s really not leading to quality anything, but when the dust settles, they’ll be on top. Just like Taco Bell was in Demolition Man. GO MARVEL.
JENNIFER BLOOD #1
Garth Ennis continues to skewer convention by offering this tale of a suburban housewife who has a hidden armory in her house, slips her kids valium to keep them asleep at night and uses that time to hunt down the criminal element plaguing her town.
Yeah, that’s what this book is about. There are scenes of perfect domestic tranquility and then images of abject gore and horror. In other words, it’s pure Ennis.
My eye at first seems to view the art as ugly. But the scenes of gore are pretty amazing. Adriano Batista really loves to gross out the reader and I love that. It reminds me of Steve Dillon’s work on Hellblazer/Preacher. A lot of people complained about the uniformity of Dillon’s work, but no one could draw the look of disbelief on the face of a dude with his lower jaw missing any better.
I think I like this book. I mean, it’s really weird. So far, the lead character has very little motivation for doing what she does and her “journal” entries make her seem more than just a little crazy. Plus, how does “Mrs. Mom” know how to do all of these things? I guess we’ll find out soon.
FINALLY:
ABYSS: FAMILY ISSUES #1
Yeah, I don’t know. This title borrows from so many other books, it’s almost shameful. It’s “Invincible” meets “Kick-Ass” meets “Iron Giant”. The art isn’t all that great and very obviously all done on computers. The backgrounds are boring and the frames are uninteresting. The characters warp and change perspective. The way the women are drawn would give Rob Liefeld a run for his money, except they have feet, so I won’t be too critical. But check out the thighs on “Quiver” as she’s sitting on her bed. I mean, I like ‘em thick, but make up your mind, which is it?
The art isn’t the only thing that gets tiresome in this issue. There are a few pop references thrown in to add flavor. The little bit at the front about a hero trying to beat an eBay sniper is clever, but unnecessary. It’s always better to further your story than throw in geek-bait. I’m sure that someone thought the Twitter thing at the end was funny, but a lot of them are poorly written. If you want to be seen as clever, it helps to be so.
I don’t hate this book. I just don’t like it. I do applaud and support indie comics. For reals, yo. I just think that if you’re going to labor for love, make it look like you love your labor. This book is sloppy and derivative. It probably gets lost on the racks every month and rightfully so.
I don’t say this hate, people. I say this to ask indie comics studios of all shapes and sizes to step up your games. There’s a bold new world coming and if you’re pounding out mediocre shit, you’re done.
That’s it! Thanks for reading. If you agree, disagree, hate, love, loathe or just want to chat, hit up the comments section below. I’m open and available for any and all flames or compliments.
Next week: MORE!
