I Am Tired of This: ‘Power Rangers’ and the Dread of Hollywood Nostalgia
This morning I put on a Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers T-shirt. I thought nothing of it. I needed a clean shirt, because it’s appropriate and it was a breezy fifty degrees in the continental Northeast so being shirtless would be an unpleasant experience. As I began my day, wearing that T-shirt bought at a Spencer’s for bored suburban kids, a coworker sent via Slack the Entertainment Weekly article showing the 2017 Power Rangers costumes.
My immediate instinct, which I didn’t do, was to take off my shirt and burn it in the office. My second instinct, which I did do, was shut off my laptop and go for a walk. It was a breezy fifty degrees in the continental Northeast.
I didn’t burn my shirt because a) that is arson and b) I would be (pun not intended) fired. But I became restless, because I am tired of this.
I am tired of hearing about the Power Rangers movie. No, I’m not tired of Hollywood’s insistence on summer tentpoles and reboots — the American film industry has always adapted cartoons, comics, plays, and books, Francis Ford Coppola’s The Godfather was adapted from Mario Puzo’s airport book — but tired of it as circus.
I am not tired of the pandering to my childhood, which was fine but not interesting so why are you trying, but the assumption that it is a thing to appropriate. To see it in ostentatious design and called “edgy,” as if it needed permission by those who never cared to exist. I am a mother seeing my daughter participate in a pageant without my permission. No, I do not “own” Power Rangers so Lionsgate, the producers of the film, do not need my permission. But excuse me. I have bothered to care more than most for twenty years. I do not have a say, legally, but y’know? I should have a say.
Power Rangers is not sacred. It is toys, made to sell merchandise and branded products like cereals and comic books and pajamas. I have no delusions what Haim Saban — who by the way is like the twelfth richest person in the world — had always intended for his teenagers with attitude. He was going to parade them and sell them, always. Power Rangers is not Calvin and Hobbes. (I wish more creators had Bill Watterson’s heart). And yet, I give a shit about it.
I give a shit about the TV show. I give a shit about the toys (not the ones made explicitly for children, I find the “for adults” collectibles quite nice). I give a shit about its continuity and its themes, how it entertains me and let me forget the world can be awful. I like to watch Power Rangers when I’m mad about my work. I like to watch Power Rangers when I’m feeling alone. I like to watch Power Rangers when racist, sexist, orange baboon Donald Trump makes one of his vile remarks that is causing irreparable damage to us as a nation. I like to watch Power Rangers when another mass shooting happens and people unfathomably think thoughts and prayers are enough. I like to watch Power Rangers when I see the world at its worst because I want to believe people can selflessly, and proudly, be at their best.
But I am tired of this. This movie. The emerging details, released my publicists at odd ours timed to dominate the news cycle and every bit showing why none of this is a good idea. And the spectacle, oh heavens the spectacle. Power Rangers is becoming a grotesque parade where the internet’s collective noise of Twitter snark and critics’ hot takes creates the sobering experience to bear witness intelligent people whose careers I model mine after say some of the dumbest fucking things about a thing I know too well, while making me feel shitty that I do. (No tweets or examples I can show here, but let’s just say I dread what my colleagues will say when the trailer comes out.) They say never meet your heroes. Well I actually have, and they don’t make me feel as anxious.
I know the internet is a place where everyone has a voice, and it would be horrifically Orwellian if I wanted it silenced. And the best option — log off, walk away — is always an option, as I did today. But I also make my living on the internet, so it’s kind of hard to do my job when all y’all, not just my “heroes” but regular people who never gave an ounce of thought to Eltarian politics or the purpose of the Morphing Grid, or even watched past Power Rangers in Space are making a ruckus. I don’t want you to shut up, but in the name of Zordon, can you do some Wikipedia searching first?
Oh, and if you’re wondering my thoughts on the costumes: They look gross. Why are they glowing blue? Why are their helmets so goofy and look nothing like dinosaurs? Why do the Pink and Yellow Rangers have boob armor and wedges? Why do they look as evil and menacing, and damn near identical, to Rita Repulsa? What is even the point? I want to see them in action because CGI production art does not flatter these suits. Right now, I’d rather they just wear licensed T-shirts.
