Guilty Pleasures: The Stoned Age
Okay, I gotta start off by saying The Stoned Age is a pretty terrible movie. It really is quite terrible. I mean there’s literally one quote on the DVD cover and it’s from Kim Williamson of Venice Magazine (that popular rag) and it says “Better than Dazed and Confused’. It’s a straight up lie. This movie is not better than Dazed and Confused nor is it better than most films of it’s kind. So why am I even defending this film that I admit is pretty terrible? Because I love the shit out of this movie.
I have no clue how to explain the movies on Guilty Pleasures sometimes. There are plenty that people will say aren’t real guilty pleasures and others that people will say are so awful that they defy defendability. I suppose what really links all of them together is the fact that they are movies found in my DVD collection that make people question my tastes. How can a guy with pretentious shit like Slacker or film school favorites like 12 Angry Men also own The Stoned Age? I am of course the only person in the world who’s DVD collection when alphabetized leaves Casablanca sitting directly after Carnosaur 3: Primal Species.
What is it about me that makes me love such low grade shit as The Stoned Age with the same enthusiasm that I love It Happened One Night? I wish I could have an answer for you, but I just love the movie. Maybe it’s the Classic rock in me or maybe I’m just a fan of any teen comedy regardless how shitty it may be. I honestly have no answer.
The Stoned Age is sort of an unknown film in many respects. Most people I’ve met have never heard of it and the ones who have seem to hate it (except you James I know you’re reading this… I’ll get to you in a second). The reasons I think people hate and love it are for the exact same reason, it’s a cheesy low budget rip off of dozens of films you have seen before.
I first heard of the movie on my friend James’ (see I told you) old website moshpitwookie.com. As far as I know the site no longer exists and if it does it’s definitely not James’ site any long. MoshPitWookie was a place for heavy metal concert reviews, editorials and forums where about 5 people had discussions. One day James was doing a full week of teasing his upcoming article “The Greatest American Graffiti Rip-Off” in the end the article ended up being this. James tried to argue that since Dazed and Confused is the greatest American Graffiti Rip-Off and this is the greatest Dazed and Confused rip off than vicariously it must be the greatest American Graffiti rip-off. It’s flawed logic for sure (for starters there has to be a better Dazed and Confused rip-off than this).
However it does share an undisputed influence from both films. When two stoners (Joe and Hubbs) find out about a sexy “chick” considered a sure thing who looks like the girl from the Virgin Killers album (one of the most perverted jokes ever put on film)* they decide it’s time to get laid. The arrive at the house where she (Lanie)’s staying and they go on an adventure throughout the night in a quest to woe her. Hubbs calls dips on her and pushes Joe off on her less attractive (but far less shallow) friend Jill.
Joe begins to fall for Jill when the two have to hang out while Hubbs has sex with Lanie. As a birthday gift Hubbs arranges for Lanie to also give Joe a blowjob. When Joe reluctantly goes upstairs he finds Lanie fast asleep, he returns downstairs to find Jill and Hubbs making out.
Joe leaves the party disheartened but Jill gives him her name and location so he can find her again one day. The two friends fight outside and then make up quickly as Joe finally gets to have a say on issues like what song they listen to in the car.
This hyper low-budget movie didn’t really kick start anyone’s acting or writing careers. The only actor’s you might know are Clifton Collins Jr (who’s mostly an ‘oh that guy’ actor and Jake Busey in a small appearance. While the writer/director’s only other film was the box-office flop The Jerky Boys (co-writer Rich Wilkes however went on to write both xXx movies). This movie did help jump the careers of producers David Heyman (the Harry Potter series) and Neal H Moritz (producer of multiple hit comedies and horror films).
One of the things I appreciated about this particular film is that Jill is one of the few genuine females in this genre. She’s not a complete slut, dumb blonde or even a secretly hot average girl. She’s homely and remains homely but she’s good natured and strong willed. Her relationship with the equally average Joe (ha, Average Joe… I wonder if that’s intentional) feels like a natural progression and you want to see them succeed. Also Renee Griffin is properly hot as Lanie and you get to see her naked so that’s good too. Actually you know what? Kim Williamson is right about one thing; The Stoned Age has more tits than Dazed and Confused… so in that field maybe it IS superior.
* – There’s a good chance many people don’t completely understand this particular joke. In 1976 German Metal band Scorpions (you know rock you like a hurricane) released an album called Virgin Killer. The record created a HUGE controversy at the time for having a nude photograph of a prepubescent 10 year old girl (her genitalia being censored by a ‘cracked glass’ effect. The controversy lead to the album cover being changed quite quickly with the original cover being a rare collector’s item. This was not the last controversy for the band when it came to album covers… seriously, Germans are crazy (EDITOR’S NOTE: Writer Matt Kelly’s opinion of German People does not reflect the opinions of Geekscape.net)
