Gayscape #3: The Top 10 Gayest Cartoon Characters

While the comic book characters have mostly been a bit more reserved in just how gay they come across to the public, the world of children’s cartoons has always had the more obvious gay characters floating about, even in earlier, more intolerant times. Some so obvious I wonder just how they made it onto kid’s television programming in the first place. In fact, there are so many gay-seeming cartoon characters that it was really hard to limit this list to just ten, but I think the following are the gayest of the gay. And remember, these are characters from kid’s shows, so, I will not out gay cartoons like South Park’s Mr. Garrison or Smithers from the Simpsons. Let’s get started, shall we?

#10: Bamm Bamm Rubble

“We’ll have a gay old time” is how the Flintstones theme song ends. Maybe gayer than anyone originally thought? I speak now not of Fred Flintstone or Barney Rubble, but of Barney’s son Bamm-Bamm. Intrduced originally in the first series of Flintstones toons in the early 60’s as a super strong baby, he was paired off with Pebbles Flintstone right out of the crib. After the Flintstones ended, Bamm-Bamm and Pebbles skipped childhood completely and went straight to teendom and their own show called The Pebbles and Bamm Bamm Show, where the two were apparently dating. Or were they?

Gayvidence:

– The pair never really acted like boyfriend and girlfriend anymore than Fred and Daphne did.
– Bamm-Bamm seemed to have lost all his super strength and butchness as a teenager, and just overall acts a bit more queer.
– He always refers to Pebbles as “Pebbly Poo”. When Fred called Pebbles Pebbly Poo, it was cute and fatherly. When Bamm Bamm does it, it’s really just super gay.

I always liked to think that Pebbles knew his secret, and was merely his beard. After all, they were in a rock band together, maybe Bammer had an image to protect. In later cartoons as an adult, Bamm-Bamm is frustrated with his job as a mechanic, and longs to work in a more creative field, so he and Pebbles decide to move to Hollyrock so that Bammer can pursue his dream of screenwriting. If you ask me, I think It was just so he could be closer to West Hollyrock.

#9: Louie Anderson

Annoying and unfunny comedian Louie Anderson was more or less outed as gay, after an aborted extortion plot in the late 90’s. Some guy threated to go to the tabloids with the info that he was once hit on by Anderson in a Las Vegas casino. Anderson decided to expose the guy rather than pay up, mostly since no one really cares about his so called comedy anyway. But this raises the question, if Louie is gay, doesn’t that make his equally annoying and unfunny cartoon counterpart from the animated Life With Louie gay too? Just sayin’….

#8: Hefty Smurf and Vanity Smurf

The Smurfs are all generally kind of gay. Running around in white tights and topless all the time, it’s almost little a miniature version of the White Party. And with the exception of Smurfette, they are all men. What did they do for sex before she showed up? Everyone always cracks jokes about how Smurfette was some kind of cum dumpster for the entire Smurf Village, but I think the Smurfs were more interested in doing her hair than doing her.
And no two Smurfs were gayer than Vanity and Hefty, both were the very epitome of extreme queer behavior.

Gayvidence:

 
-Vanity, The Fem. Always prancing around with a giant flower in his hat
-Constantly looking at himself in his mirror and going on about how pretty he is.
-Hefty, the butch muscle daddy; obsessed with muscles and with working out, he was almost too butch. Like he was overcompensating for something?

#7: He-Man

As a child, I was quite literally obsessed with He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. I owned every single toy. My bed sheets, my curtains, my lunchbox and my Trapper Keeper all had the blonde and muscular image of Prince Adam of Eternia imprinted on them in some way. What I was way too young to realize however, was just how queer this show really was.

Gayvidence:

-He-Man was always running around and wrestling other similarly muscular men, many who were wearing little more than a furry loincloth.
-He-Man drew all his power from his sword.
-his costume was little more than a metal harness. Kinky.

Despite all the obvious gayness, I never had a crush on He-Man like many have suggested (I love tall blonde men, it’s an easy enough assumption to make) I just was never one of those people who sexualized cartoon characters. And I never really wanted to be He-Man either (his twin sister She-Ra though? maybe) My only really gay association with the Masters of the Universe franchise is when I was 12 and the live action He-Man movie came out. The theatrical experience of seeing my favorite cartoon brought to life was a weird double epiphany for me. Seeing actors portray my favorite characters made me realize just how kind of retarded the whole thing really was, and I remember wanting to home and put all my He-Man toys in storage. But seeing Dolph Lundgren in little more than a loincloth, all hot and sweaty and glistening muscles, well…that just made me want to go home and do something else. Alone.

#6: Velma Dinkley

Being bookish and nerdy doesn’t necessarily make you a lesbian. Nor does a total lack of fashion sense (but it sure can get people talking). In many ways, Velma is a very positive role model. Almost every Scooby Doo mystery was solved by Velma, easily making her the most important member of the Mystery Machine gang. While Scooby always took off with Shaggy, and Fred was always with Daphne, it was Velma and ONLY Velma who ever ventured out in the haunted castle alone.

Gayvidence:

 
-The butch haircut, thick ass glasses, and unflattering sweaters are the epitome of cliche lesbian fashion choices.
-I don’t know many men who would venture out alone in the haunted castle, but I sure know some lesbians who ain’t afraid of shit.

Velma’s status as a lesbian icon has been referenced and parodied by things like Adult Swim’s The Venture Brothers and Kevin Smith’s Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. We don’t yet live in a world where Hanna Barbera can officially out any character, but I have a feeling that if they ever do, much like the flesh and blood Ellen Degeneres it’ll be obvious to everyone Velma Dinkley who comes out first. And just like with Ellen, the whole world will shrug and say “duh. We knew”.

#5: Fred

Velma is not the only Scooby Doo character who is very gay seeming. Nope, there’s also Fred, the so called leader of Mystery Inc. (not sure why he’s the leader, except I guess maybe it’s his van) Many people are always saying how Fred and Daphne would go off and explore alone, and were maybe having sex while Scooby and Shaggy were eating stuff and Velma was looking for her glasses. But I always thought Fred gave off a very serious gay vibe. . .

Gayvidence:

 
-Fred never acted like he was dating Daphne, despite the fact they said on more than one occasion they were a couple. I don’t even think they even kissed once.
-That bright orange ascot. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the smoking gun.

#4: Yogi Bear and Boo Boo

Yogi and Boo Boo are just about as obvious as Bert and Ernie (who would so be on this list if they weren’t puppets) Running around Jellystone National Park, buck naked except for their little ties like Chippendales dancers. Some have suggested that their whole relationship is kind of pedo, with Yogi in the child predator role. But maybe it’s just me, but Boo Boo never seemed so much younger than Yogi to suggest a kid, he was just way, way shorter. If they were indeed gay, then these two are pioneers in the GLBT community, as they were part of the gay Bear Community decades before any real humans were.

Gayvidence:

 
-Yogi and Boo Boo seemed to co-habitate the same cave. And not in a “we’re just roomates” kind of way.

– Cindy Bear wanted nothing more than to get herself some Yogi love, but Yogi seemed to want nothing to do with her. Considering she was the only female bear in Jellystone, you’d think Yogi wouldn’t be so picky. Unless of course girls just weren’t his thing.

#3: The Pink Panther

Aside from the obvious fact that he’s pink, and considering his eternal silence, many might wonder just what is so gay about the Pink Panther?

Gayvidence:

– He always has a catchy score following him wherever he goes. I don’t know any real people who that actually happens to, but If I did I’d bet they would be gay.

-While he might not be flamboyantl and loud like so many gays in the media tend to be, the Panther is gay in that quiet and aloof way. The kind that is always rolling his eyes and silently judging you.

-he once had a show called Pink Panther and Sons where we meet his his two young boys, both of whom are of totally different colors. I think PP just adopted them. And like many gay people who adopt, the different colors suggest a multicultural thing. It’s very trendy.

#2: Snagglepuss

In a weird way, it’s nice to know that the world of animation had room for not one, but TWO gay acting animated pink cats. Possibly the most blatantly gay male cartoon character of them all, Snagglepuss is a fussy pink mountain lion who spouted off catchphrases like “Heavens to Murgatroyd!” and “exit, stage left!” in the most effeminate voice ever recorded for the cartoon medium. Seemingly based on the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz, Snagglepuss blazed a trail of flaming characters to come from Hanna Barbara studios in later years, although none quite as in your face as old Snagglepuss. But without Snagglepuss blazing the trail first, we might never have had the previously mentioned Velma, Bamm-Bamm, and Yogi Bear. And of course, Snagglepuss paved the way for the less obvious but still pretty gay Pink Panther.

Gayvidence:

-He’s a hot pink mountain lion with a lisp. Do you really require more evidence?

#1: Peppermint Patty

The Queen Bee of gay cartoon characters. It really doesn’t get any more blatant than this folks. Peanuts creator Charles Shultz must have known, even back in the day, that everyone was gonna think that Peppermint Patty was going to be a lesbian. Even as a small child I remember wondering if she was supposed to be a girl or a boy, long before I was asking such questions about real people. One of the only characters on this list I actually think might have actually been deliberate.

Gayvidence:

-The tomboy looks. The unkept hair. The open toed sandals.
-She plays sports better than any of the boys.
– That other young and vaguely dykey girl who follows her around and refers to her as “Sir”.
-She kind of looks like a young Jodie Foster.

Honorable Mentions:

Timon and Pumba, The Seven Dwarves, Ren & Stimpy, Bugs Bunny (transgender?) Dr. Quest and Race Bannon (Johnny has two daddies!) and Spongebob.