The 5 Best And 5 Worst Bits Of The ‘Doctor Who’ Premiere

As let down as I was by the Tranzalore episode last December, I was still in a stew of anticipation for the new Doctor and the new series. As the premiere date got closer, I’ll even admit that the anticipation wound up to a fevered pitch. I was very, very, very excited!

So, I wanted to wait a day before I wrote up my thoughts about the premiere episode of Doctor Who‘s eighth season, “Deep Breath,” in order to separate coherent opinion from a sort of post-Christmas morning let down. So, a day (and one more viewing) later, and I’ve found (disappointingly) that the issues remain.

Not to say there weren’t flashes of pure, Doctor-y brilliance in the episode. And if Peter Capaldi, our new Doctor, can be that good amidst that much rubbish, imagine how good he’ll be when he actually gets a better story!

Needless to say, if you haven’t seen the newest episode, and don’t like spoilers, don’t read any further!

So, first, what worked:

1. Peter Capaldi: From ‘furious eyebrows’ to dinosaur-translating to that delightful Scottish brogue, Capaldi’s Doctor is angry, wry, sad, puzzled, conceited, arrogant, lost, humble and very, very lonely (as all of Moffat’s Doctors are). From the ungainly fingers sticking out in all directions to the sauve pose and reveal of the red silk lining of his new suit; from the desperate wretchedness of “Who frowned this face for me?” to the rapier-wit comedy of “You said that all by yourself”; from the frantic flirting with a larger-than-it-should-be dinosaur to the calm humor when he tells Clara (Jenna Coleman) that he is not her boyfriend, Capaldi reveled in his Doctor, and invited us along for (what I hope will be an amazing) ride.

2. Vastra and Jenny Flint (mostly): Vastra (Neve McIntosh) has always been one of my favorite reoccurring characters, and her and Jenny Flint’s (Catrin Stewart) relationship is given more time in this episode than any other; Jenny almost becomes a fully fleshed character. The quick allusions to Vastra’s other cases make me want a spin-off (though the Sherlock Homes references got to be a little much) and their lizard-lady kiss was certainly the first of its kind on television. Vastra provided such much needed snark and sarcasm (until she also become a monologue mouthpiece bent on lecturing fan-girls, but more on that later).

3. The Alley Scene: Capaldi and a homeless man in an alley, where Capaldi ruminates on ‘why this face.’ Moffat writing at its best: evocative, funny, illuminating without feeling like an info-dump, and creating a connection with the audience. By the end of that scene, I was sold on Capaldi’s Doctor.

4. Jenna/Doctor in the Restaurant Scene: It was funny. Both Coleman and Capaldi were obviously enjoying themselves, and the banter fairly sparkled. For that brief scene, I could see Clara and the Doctor as a team (versus other scenes, where I keep being told they were but didn’t actually see it).

5. Heaven/The Last Scene: Did I miss something? Do we know that woman named Missy (Michelle Gomez)?? Who was she? Where was she? How does she know the Doctor? What is she on about? In 30-seconds I went from ‘meh’ to ‘oh, ok, well I guess I have to watch this season.’ She’s clearly going to be a presence over the next few months. If anyone knows who she is, please say in the comments! Or even if all you have is a vague idea or an loud opinion. It is the Internet, after all. Don’t be shy!

Alright, now on to what didn’t work.

And so much didn’t, right? Huge plot holes; convenient, highly-coincidental happenings; every single character getting a two minute monologue about how the new Doctor is the Doctor and how we should all just get over it and move on; a bad-guy that was oh-so-not-subtly a mirror to our own Doctor’s emotional state–the list, quite literally, goes on.

1. The Dinosaur: I have nothing against the odd dinosaur (I went through the dinosaurs are awesome phase just like everyone else) but why? And how? The TARDIS has been stuck inside any number of things (organic and inorganic) and time-traveled out of them, and none of those things got pulled along for the ride (and this dino is HUGE. Sorry, Vastra, you’re ‘I was there.’ didn’t explain away that one). And aside from the ‘huh…how?’ issue, there’s the fact that now we have an episode about a dinosaur, an ancient being, lost out of its time, alone and stranded, worlds away from its family and home (gee, are you getting some subtext here? You should be, because, like a lot of this episode, it’s not so much sub- as just right out there, completely textual). And if for some reason we didn’t grasp the allegory, Moffat made sure we did by having the finally-asleep-Doctor translate the lost, lonely and cold dinosaur’s thoughts for us.

2. The Attempts at Humor: This is mostly about Strax. I usually really like Strax and his obtuse, violence-first approach is good for a gallows humor. This episode, his humor is too broad, too easy. And the bit where he hits Clara in the head with the newspaper? What was that? It wasn’t funny, and it cuts from Clara flying backward, directly to Clara coming into the kitchen with neither a bruise, nor any discussion about the concussion-causing projectile. And the medical examination that follows (though explained by Strax) seems gratuitous (oh, hey, your subconscious shows men playing sport and sex! You naughty girl! How dare you have a perfectly healthy libido!). Other ‘funny’ moments that weren’t: the Doctor falling through the trees; the Doctor flipping onto the horse (only because it looked so odd); Vastra having Jenny strike a pose but not really painting her, and then asking Clara to take her clothes off when she comes into the room; Clara kicking the sonic screwdriver into (we’re led to believe) the Doctor’s crotch (hey, dick humor! Everyone likes that, right?)

The jokes feel forced and fall flat–while individually funny, perhaps, they don’t feel coherent with the whole. It’s like halfway through someone said, ‘oh, this Doctor is too dark. Too edgy. Let’s force in some humor–hey, those Three Stooges were funny, right? Why not try some stuff like that?’

 3. The Lectures: By my count, we were told on four separate occasions that the Doctor was still the Doctor, he just looked different. Older, grayer, but still the Doctor, and we just needed to get over it and accept it. And if we couldn’t, well, then, we weren’t worthy to be in his presence (or hang out with Vastra’s unveiled self, either). Much like the end of the Christmas Special, the characters take time out from the episode to essentially to give the audience (really, the super-fans) a little scolding. Now, I was sad to see Matt Smith’s Doctor go, but was looking forward to a new Doctor (that is, after all, part of the charm of the show). Being constantly reprimanded about how missing the old Doctor was somehow selfish, childish and judgmental soured a great deal of the episode for me. Which leads me to…

4. Clara: Jenna Coleman seems like a perfectly nice, gracious and talented young woman. But to be honest, I have never been a huge fan of the Clara companion. And in this episode she surpassed her worst moments from all of last season combined–through no fault of her own, or even her character’s. Rather, it felt like Moffat had decided to use her as a stand-in for every Super Fan who went into hysterics when Matt Smith left, and then twisted and forced the episode to show how shallow, unsubstantial, egomaniacal and self-centered those Super Fans are–and, as mentioned in point #3, every character there, up to and including Matt Smith’s Doctor, decided to give her a lecture.

On top of that, she was singularly useless. Why was she even there? We kept getting told how important she was to the Doctor, but other than vacillating between dull disdain of his new form (how many gray hair insults can you cram into an hour-and–half show?), near-hysteria over the new Doctor’s behavior, and perky-wide-eyed naivete, she didn’t seem important. Yes, she told us a number of times (as did Vastra, and Strax and even the Matt Smith Doctor himself) how important she was to him, but why?

And how many times was she going to have to get saved by the Doctor? I counted three times in one episode. When the Doctor leaves her behind in the Larder, there’s a GIANT LEVER right next to the door, and instead of pulling it and, I don’t know, escaping, she decides to hold her breath and cry. Why? Supposedly Jenna Coleman is leaving after the Christmas Special, and if this episode is any indication of what they are doing with her character, I can’t blame her.

5. Gaping Plot Holes. Gaping Plot Holes Every Where: The aforementioned dinosaur. The killing of said dinosaur for its optic nerve (what?? really??). The clockwork re-building robots (yet another metaphor of regeneration and renewal, in case we weren’t getting the inner turmoil) living under Victorian London.

Note: For those of you wondering, the clockwork fix-it robots first showed up during David Tennant’s Doctor in an episode titled The Girl in the Fireplace. It’s the only 2006 episode written by Moffat. If you haven’t seen it, you should. It is very, very good, and also one of the first episodes that unequivocally makes the Doctor a romantic figure. Which makes this episode’s clear statement that the Doctor is not a romantic figure very much the bookend at the end of that particular era.)

The Doctor and Clara getting stuck in the restaurant (what happened to the Doctor running away?). Once in the Larder and running away, Clara has to go back for the Doctor, pushing him in front of her, and then stops, for NO REASON, and that’s why he leaves her behind (‘Too slow.’ the Doctor says. But she wasn’t).

I don’t mind the idea of this Doctor being one to sacrifice others for a greater good–the Doctor has done that in the past–but I do have a problem with it being so blatantly stupid.  The fact that Clara pounds on the door and wails against its not opening when there’s a GIANT RED LEVER right next to it. The fact that she stays in the Larder for an improbable amount of time when the door is open, panicking. The fact that the clockwork robots can tell if you’re breathing, but crying apparently does not clue them into one’s humanity. The fact that Vastra and Jenny swirl down to the larder on giant swathes of cloth but don’t think to, I don’t know, drop a rope or ladder so they can get out. No, they literally jump in and pull their only method of escape down with them. Or that Strax, the military-trained, death-before-dishonor, we-are-Sparta-warrior-dude was the first to need to breathe and didn’t even react to that.

Or the fact that the entire episode is spent telling Clara that this Doctor is different. He’s not her Doctor anymore. He’s still the Doctor, but changed, and she’ll need to accept his changes and then at the very end, the Doctor comes out and says he hasn’t changed, he’s exactly the same, and can’t she see him for him?

So which is it? It’s enough to make a girl’s head explode.

I have high hopes about Capaldi’s Doctor and the rest of the season. This particular episode was not a great one–certainly not for such a long-awaited premiere–but there were hints of a excellence in it. I hope the rest of the season gets better. Considering the episode didn’t even touch on Gallifrey and the other Time Lords who clearly exist since, you know, they saved the Doctor, hopefully we’ll find out more about that soon.

Also, what kind of Doctor do we think this 12th Doctor will be? If the 10th Doctor was ‘the one who regrets’ and the 11th Doctor was the ‘one who forgets’ does that make the 12th Doctor the one who’s redeemed? It certainly seems so, with the Doctor’s ‘I’ve made mistakes’ speech.

What did you think? Love Capaldi? Hate Capaldi? Don’t care? Let us know in the comments!