So. What kind of geek are you? Comic? Movie? Video game? There is another kind of geek out there. There are many similarities: we collect stuff, we get excited when new stuff is coming out, follow its progress on the internet, post pictures and speculate, pre-order, get tempted by limited editions and bonus stuff. There are celebrities with their own followers who crave their hero’s signatures upon shiny new releases. There are different genres with their own sub-groups of devoted fans. There are lame in-jokes. And there is the mother of all geek conventions, Essen, in Germany every October. Bigger than Comic-Con (130,000 geeks), Comikaze (45,000) or E3 (48,200), with 149,000 geeks visiting 827 exhibitors over 4 days. These are the boardgamegeeks.

Wait. Before you dismiss it as a totally ludicrous hobby for people that even geeks think of as freaks, let me tell you about our world. Follow me. Come closer. Maybe I can persuade you to put cardboard to the table.

But before getting a taster of some of the 66,449 boardgames available to you, there is one key question. Why bother?

WHY?

For most people, the number one reason is social. It’s a fun thing to do together with a bunch of people, friends or not-yet-friends. There’s usually lots of banter, and in our group well mannered cussing, creative swearing, and inappropriate urban dictionary style sexual references. It can be a chance to flex your mental muscles and get heavily competitive,  a chance to get stupid and childish, or a chance to get lost in theme and atmosphere. It all depends what you choose to play, what pops your wheelie.

And that’s what I’ll try to dip into next. To give a flavour of some of the different itches that can be scratched.

WHAT?

Board (and card) games can be categorised in many ways. Like with anything, put enough geeks together with keyboards, and some of them will get into pointless internet arguments. You can categorise by mechanic, theme, number of players, designers…. you get the idea.

I will try to go through what I feel are some of the main styles that may attract different players for different reasons.

1. A BIT SHIT

So in my opinion, this is where Monopoly sits, and to a lesser extent some of the other ‘classic’ games. Don’t get me wrong, these games had their time and place in history, but have just been superseded. Personally, I had not played Monopoly for about 20 years but didnt remember it being that great. However I decided to give it another go a year or so ago. The first 45 minutes was actually quite fun – properties came up, there was some ineteresting bidding, decisions to make on where to develop. Then there came the next 2h 15 mins. For this whole time we could all see who was going to win, which to guys were screwed and the other 2 guys who would kind of be in the running for another hour or so. We could do nothing to affect the outcome and just had to watch painfully as the poor got poorer and the rich richer. It may be an accurate simulation of life but it was truly awful.

Having said all that, if you love Monoploy and get a kick out of it every time, more power to you. But be aware, in my books you are missing out on the Class A stuff.

2. THE EURO

So without boring you with the history, probably around 20 years ago boardgames began to evolve. Many of the issues with Monopoly and other similar games were ‘fixed’. These games mostly came out of Germany, which probably is still the heart of the modern boardgame industry. As a consequence these games are called Eurogames.

Typically a Eurogame will have the following. A clearly defined game end, making play time predictable, usually between 60 and 120 minutes. It will have multiple different strategies that can be effectively employed to win the game. There will be no player elimination. The game will often try to avoid the problem of a runaway leader. Or instead there will be hidden victory points so people can enjoy the game through to the end before they realise they are being royally humped. Oh yeah, and there will be brightly coloured wooden cubes.

Puerto Rico

You are all settling in the New World in the age of discovery, constructing your own buildings and plantations, populating them with ‘settlers’ (clearly slaves), producing goods and then selling them or shipping them back to the Old World. One of the central elements is that on your turn you selected one from a limited number of actions remaining that round and carry it out. The rub is that everyone else gets to do the same action you choose. You get a special bonus for choosing the role, but it could still benefit another player more than you. Do you really want to start a round of producing goods when the next guy is going to start moving them on to the ships, leaving them full and your goods wasted. Even worse if they have a special building that allows them to move extra goods. But if you dont they might choose it themselves, get the perk of the role, and leave you last to produce goods and finding them all gone. Oh, the sweet agony. A classic 90 minutes for 3-5 players.

Power Grid

Supply electrcity and make the most money. Simple. Bid for different power plants, buy the fuel for your plants, build into the cities you want to supply, fire up your plants and get cash. Rinse and repeat. Easy eh? But which plant to you put up for auction, maybe the one you dont want to get someone out of the running and maybe get a better one into the market? But you might be lumbered with it if nobody else wants it. How much can you afford to spend on that plant  and still leave enough cash left to buy the fuel for it? And do you take the lead and face being the last one to buy fuel at the highest prices? Or do you hang back to get the perks of last place, hoping to can predict the game end coming, and leapfrog into first place at the crucial moment? A great game to teach new players as it’s so easy to get the basic flow of the game, and yet full of strategy and player interaction.

 3. AMERITRASH

Yet another topic boardgame geeks can argue endlessly and tediously about – what is Ameritrash? The name is clearly derived from the hybrid of American and trash. Get it? They usually originate form American and are trashy in as much as they can be a more about style than substance, and are hence looked down on by some. Common elements that are found in Ameritrash games are as follows. A large quantity of highly detailed plastic miniatures, lots and lot of bits, dice, a strong theme which will usually be of a fantasy or sci-fi nature, a reasonably hefty rule book, high quality art.

Arkham Horror

This is a fairly good example. There is a lack of figures but it otherwise fits most of the criteria. You each play an Investigator trying to hold back one of the Great Old Ones from H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos world. Characters move around, having encounters, getting tooled up, fighting bad guys by rolling dice and trying to seal the gates the old ones threaten to burst through. This game has a fucking gazillion bits. With all the expansions it could just about take an hour to set up and fill a 10 seater dining table. But it drips with theme and is a really fun ride.

Most would also class Civilization as Ameritrash. It a pretty accurate simulation of the PC game many of you will be familiar with. Develop your civilization in a struggle against your opponents to be the first to claim a military, economic, scientific or culture victory.

4. CASUAL

Some games are well suited to the more casual experience. They usually play in under an hour, have fairly simple accessible rules, feature a slightly higher luck / lower strategy ratio and often have a light, humorous theme. These a great ‘gateway’ games. The kind of soft drugs that get you hooked and make you move on to the hard stuff. While I love them in their own right, I will also often pull out one of these games to pop the cherry of the boardgames virgins.

King of Tokyo

You are an oversized monster trying to wreak havock on Japan’s capital, kaiju style, to become the King of Tokyo. You win by having the most points or by kicking everyone else’s asses and being the last beast standing. The play centres on rolling and re-rolling special dice, Yahtzee style, picking the ones you want to heal, damage other monsters, get points or collect energy to buy power ups. While undeniably light there is definite strategy there. The power up cards feature entertaining art and titles that kind of tempt you to read them in a stupid movie voice. ‘Giant brain’ ‘It has a child!’

 Cockroach Poker

A very simple game about lying. Pick a card from your hand and pass it face down to another player making a claim about what it is. ‘It’s a fly’. They have two choices. Call you – truth or lie. If they are right the card goes back to you as minus points, if they are wrong it sits in front of them as minus points. Or they can look at the card and pass it on making a claim ‘It is indeed a fly, Andy would never lie’ ‘Do not believe him, its a bat’ [It’s actually a toad]. Genius. Do you have a good lying face?

5. HARDCORE

You toked on the mellow of the casual game, experimented by popping a few Euros, now you find yourself drawn into the sordid world of the Hardcore from which there is no return. These games are heavy duty. They will usually take 2-3 hours or more to play. Have a fairly complex ruleset but a much more complex interplay of tactics and strategy. These games can make your brain hurt but give you serious satisfaction once you get your head round them.

Die Macher

So if I asked you if you wanted to play a 3 hour game about German politics I might not be surprised if you told me you would rather stick pins in your eyes. But hear me out. In this game for 3-5 players you each take the role of a political party trying to achieve victory over a number of local elections. These elections are contested one after another but you can influence more than one at any time, if you are clearly going to tank in one you might focus on another instead. In each election the elecorate have certain preferences – they may pro-economy, anti-nuclear and anti-tomato (I think it is supposed to genetic engineering). You try to align your policies with theirs, by changing yours or perhaps by taking control of the media to change public opinion to match your stance. In each election you also try to improve the popularity of your party and maybe reduce that of others and hold ‘meetings’ to increase awareness of your party. Finally the votes are calculated and the winner decided. Or maybe winners if two parties chose a coalition, or even if one was forced unwillingly into a unwanted coallition. As the elections pass you gain votes, increase your party memebership and try to influence your policies and the global agendas to tie up. There is a lot going and many different ways to try and fight your way to victory. There is a lot of interaction between players with the  appropriate amount of resultant name calling. Did I convinve you, or shall I get you those pins?

18XX

This game is so hardcore it is actually a family of over 50 games with running times between 2 hours and half a day. They may look like they are about building railway networks but are actually brutal stockmarket manipulation games. OK, and you build rail networks too. Each features a number of railway companies, a map and a crucial stock market track. Players buy shares in the rail companies. The companies can use that capital to build their network and buy trains in order to run routes and make money. The money can either grown the company or pay all the shareholders. Shares in the companies go up and down depending on how they perform. The player who makes the most money wins. Easy. I  wish it was, I am awful at these games due to a lack of innate financial ability. Doing well is simple surely, buy low and sell high. Milk the company for what it’s worth then dump it on the other shareholders just as all its trains are about to rust leaving it bankrupt. I usual place last in these games but enjoy them just the same. Although they do make my head hurt. In a good way that is. I think.

Oh, and it’s a video game. Well there was a DOS version called 1830: Railroads & Robber Barons  back in 1995. Anyone?

 6. CO-OPERATIVE

For some this is the antithesis of gaming. No competition? Surely just an exercise in mutual masturbation? I’d hate to comment on that, but for me and many others co-operative games offer a different but very enjoyable experience. A team of you (if you wish it might be just two of you, or even solo) try to use you collective whit to beat the engine of the game, to solve the puzzle and choose the best moves under pressure. Some games add a secret traitor element to appease those with an irresistible competitive urge.

Ghost Stories

As the Taoist monks you must work together to hold back the waves of ghosts haunting the inhabitants. If you last long enough you will face the challenge of defeating their master Wu Feng, the Lord of Hell. Each turn you much choose which ghost to try and fight, protecting yourself, your fellow monks or the village buildings. Villagers can help you in different ways and you must choose wisely who you turn to and when, never knowing when they might be scared off by a haunting ghost. The game is accessible with simple but tough choices to be made, has great art, and is really damn tough. I have played it over a dozen times and have yet to beat it. I just keep going back for more punishment. Wu Feng, I will crush you yet!

Battlestar Galactica

GalacticNar has already written a nice piece on the BSG boardgame right HERE on Geekscape. You are all humans working together to lead Galactica safely to Kobol. Except some of the crew are actually cylons with a totally different agenda. Filled with paranoia, lying and deception it’s all about the table talk.

7. OTHERS

While I seem to have go on a bit there a lot I havent covered. The whole world of collectable card games that was kicked off by Magic: The Gathering. MTG itself is still going strong but has spawned a host of others. A notable mention is Netrunner, set in a William Gibson style future where one player is the massive Coropration and the other the hacker [Runner] trying to break into their servers and steal valuable data. Netrunner also follows a new trend of being sold in such away that expansion packs contain all the cards you need, for those of us who dont want to go bankrupt buying and trading in the hunt for those elusive rare cards.

Or solitaire games. A concept freaky and a bit sad to some but a hugely rewarding way to spend a quiet evening for others.

Or a diverse range of two player games, within which are many well suited to gaming couples where one partner, realistically often the lady, can be persuaded to join their geek mate and enjoying a shorter lighter morsel of gaming.

Or wargames, again a whole world in itself where the Grognards get down and dirty with their hexes, blocks and chits. Again these range from the softcore with plastic tanks and glossy cards to the hardcore extreme with rulebooks the size of War & Peace, expansive maps and stacks of cardboard counters

HOW?

So if you have read this far you are either very bored, morbidly fascinated by this apparent car-crash of a hobby or perhaps slightly interested. So how does one go about dipping the toe into these fetid waters.

GROUPS

You can find a local games group. The advantages are that you dont have to research any games, dont have to spend any money buying games and probably wont have to read any rulebooks.

The disadvantges are the unknown. They may not play the kind of games that you are interested in. They may be weird and socially awkward, although probably not more than you. They may have set up their group as a front to lure you in and harvest your organs.

However, in my experience gamers are a friendly and welcoming bunch who are usually pleased to see someone else interested in their hobby. We have a group of around 28 people at present, of which 10-14 will turn up on any given night. We have a website that is the main way new members find us and we try to play a variety of different types of games to suit the varying tastes in the group. And we have a strong tradition of bad chat.

To find your local group, try the Googles and have a look at this list HERE too.

DIY

Or do it yourself. Go buy some games, gather some mates and give it a whirl. When choosing what to buy one option is to browse boardgamegeek.com where you can read reviews, check out pictures and rulebooks or post in the forums for advice. There is an all-time ranking and a ‘Hotness’ section where inspiration may be found if needed. The site also features session reports, rules questions, random Geeklists and is home to a massive friendly and welcoming community.

The other option is to find your friendly local games store (FLGS) and asking them for advice. Don’t be shy, they are just like comic stores. In fact some of them also are comic stores. HERE is a list of stores in the USA, and HERE is one for the rest of the world.

So, does it all sound like a load of cock? Or have I convinced you? You tempted to try it out?

Flame me in the comments below or find me at BGG as MonkeyMagic!