The Top-10 Fighting Robots in Pop Culture History
“Real Steel” is opening this Friday. You’re probably going to see it. In the film, Hugh Jackman explains how robot fighting came to supplant human boxing as the world’s newest over-moneyed sport phenomenon: Evidently, at some point along the way, humans became so bloodthirsty, that the only way to ethically sate them was to put non-living beings in the ring. Hence the easy solution: Gigantic, easy-to-operate robot avatars.
The idea of robots wailing on each other is a story conceit that goes back decades. The violence produced actually might serve to feed our bloodlust. And while they don’t really bleed or grow tired like humans would, there is something very basic and satisfying about watching two super-powered human-shaped machines clanging untiring fists into each other’s heads. What’s more, robots typically have weapons hidden within their metals chasses, making for a much more creative form of ultimate fighting. As an overgrown 10-year-old, I squealed with glee all through “Real Steel,” loving every minutes of the dumb-ass robot mayhem.
Since it’s all on our minds, I have devised the following list of fighting robots to have leaked out through our various pop culture outlets. Stand in awe as the competitors enter the ring. Here are the ten best fighting robots from pop culture.
10) Tik-Tok
From Tik-Tok of Oz (1914) and “Return to Oz” (1985)
Interesting bit of trivia: Tik-Tok, as conceived by L. Frank Baum, is often considered to be the first robot in all of literature, even though the term “robot” wasn’t used until 1920.
Tik-Tok was a big round ball-shaped machine man, made of brass, that had to be wound up to operate. His thoughts required a wind, his voice required a wind, and his physical movements needed a wind. When allowed to run down, he would stand inert until operated again. Given his rounded shape, and, as depicted in the 1985 film, ungainly manner of walking, one would assume that Tik-Tok was unable to fight with any sort of efficiency, but, as proven through a scene where he fights off a pack of vicious Wheelers, he can easily dispatch even the wiliest of enemies with his spinning torso and aplomb at wielding an empty lunchpail.
What’s more, Tik-Tok was a fun, blustery Colonel Blimp type, who could regale you with stories of many oddball Oz wars, buy you a beer, and treat you with chivalry and respect. In addition to being a kick-ass robot, Tik-Tok was friendly uncle.
9) The FemBots
From “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” (1997)
The FemBots, as maintained by the wicked cadre of Dr. Evil, served two geek wish-fulfillment functions. They not only were powerful battle droids, capable of unexpectedly shooting men with their nipple guns, but they fulfilled our desire for a programmable hot, blond, 1960s sex slave robot. I admit that the sentence I just typed is probably one of the strangest.
There is something pure about the FemBots. They seem to be programmed to do two things. They can dance in a sultry fashion to seduce men, and they can kill. In “Austin Powers in The Spy Who Shagged Me,” it was revealed that FemBots can also emulate humans – a la Cylons – and stay in disguise for years. But this detail (clearly inserted as a throwaway gag) is not as interesting as the prospect of shagging a hot blonde robo babe. Is this shallow of me? You bet.
8) Tranzor Z
From “Tranzor Z” (1972-1974)
Of all the dozens and dozens of Mecha anime that made its way to American shores, the only one I really paid attention to was this oddity, broadcast on public television of all things, featuring the usual human pilot sitting in the head of a giant robot avatar, doing battle with a different evil giant robot every week, and inevitably triumphing, using whatever new toy the mad scientist had just introduced. I can’t really recall what made the show extraordinary, other than its stellar action sequences, and its villain, who was, yes, a trans-gendered witch who lived in a volcano, and who could spawn killer robots to his/her heart’s content. I would love to revisit the show, but DVDs are hard to come by, and we all know what happens when we revisit our childhood cartoons.
Tranzor Z can also, for the function of this list, stand in for any number of hot Japanese Mecha anime that came out over the last several decades. Starting with “Gigantor” in the mid-1950s, giant robots have been a solid staple of Japanese comics and cartoon shows, to the point where it could be considered a sub-genre. I know many fans of the Gundam Wing series, not a single little boy hasn’t seen at least one episode of “Robotech,” or “Voltron: Defender of the Universe,” and I have heard peers wax rhapsodic about the virtues and poetry of the “Evangelion” shows and movies. If you will allow, I will have my obscure robot Tranzor act as ambassador for all these fighting robots.
7) The Iron Giant
From “The Iron Giant” (1999)
We must recall, if we want to be good geeks, that giant fighting robot traditions started in the 1950s, what with pulp sci-fi novels with titles like “Amazing Adventures!” You’ve likely seen the book covers around. They usually featured strapping, barrel-chested men with greasy hairdos doing ray-gun battle with a big-headed green alien, while a whimpering and half-stripped damsel clung to his leg. It was from these images, now leaked in the collective consciousness, that Brad Bird drew his excellent 1999 animated feature “The Iron Giant,” the tale of a young boy who has to hide and eventually befriend a gigantic robot from space.
The robot itself seemed kind of disconnected (he has a dent on his head), so he behaves in a friendly fashion, and finds that he admires the exploits of Superman, and likes jazz music. It’s only when the robot is attacked that his true purpose on Earth is revealed: He is a battling death robot. Like the Tripods in War of the Worlds, the robot goes on a swirling, lighting-arced rampage of death, firing lasers and stomping tanks with the best of them. Luckily for humanity, the robot has learned compassion along the way, and chooses not to be a gun. Is it me, or is a 50-foot tall metal war machine the best friend a 1950s, sci-fi-obsessed boy can have?
6) Anything Homemade
From “Battlebots” (2000), et al
While it’s all well and good for Hollywood to give us geek wish-fulfillment movies like “The Avengers,” I’ve always admired the geeks who bother to make their own entertainment much more. If we want to see robots battling robots, we can either wait until 2011 to see “Real Steel,” or we can tune into the soldering-fetish 2000 documentary program, where hard-working engineers would actually build their own robots, and face them off in mortal battle with competitors. These robots were not human-shaped, often sticking to solid car-like creations with low centers of gravity (to prevent flipping, you see). As the robots used hammers and saws to wait on one another, Bill Nye (the Science Guy himself) would give color commentary. This was probably one of the best shows ever.
What’s more, “Battlebots” had its share of peers. “Robot Wars” was the longest running of the shows, starting in England in 1998, and running until 2004. “Robotica” ran on public television and was, oddly, hosted by Ahmet Zappa, one of Frank’s sons. Also, if you’re interested in such things, I implore you to visit the website of the Survival Research Laboratories (http://srl.org/), where the creators make really dangerous looking machines, and seem to be in real peril as they clash. It’s like a hard-edged, punk-rock version of the shows listed above.
5) Gary Daniels
(1963 – )
You may have seen him in “The Expendables.” I have seen him in several cheesy fight movies from the 1980s. Gary Daniels (and I have written about him in the pages of Geekscape before), is a boyishly handsome and incredibly talented kickboxer and martial artist from England. He’s not the best of actors, but what he lacks in emotive talent, he more than makes up for in charm and gregariousness. What’s more, he is incredibly tough, often dispatching his foes with a flick of his fist and a well-lace face kick.
Why is he listed here? Well, I have seen two fight films (“Tekken,” and “Heatseeker”) where Daniels played a partly-mechanical fight ‘bot with metal body parts and a healthy ass-kicking attitude. In “Tekken,” he takes a flying kick to the face, and doesn’t budge. Movies like this, and a general impression of his toughness, leave me suspecting that Daniels is actually part robot, and was programmed to kick ass. I have no proof of this, leaving it a cockeyed conspiracy theory, but I challenge you to watch several Gary Daniels films and come up with another solution. Daniels is a robot.
4) Mega Man
From “Mega Man” (1987) and dozens of others
Originally built by Dr. Light as a housecleaning robot, Mega Man was retooled to fight evil robots when the wicked Dr. Wily announced his wicked plans for world domination. Essentially a little boy in a blue bodysuit, and equipped with an outsize hand gun, Mega Man seemed to be the ultimate fighting robot, in that he couldn’t be defeated. Well, I suppose he could, but you could try again if you had another life. Mega Man also absorbed the weapons of his fallen foes, meaning that, by the end of the game, he would be super souped-up with all kinds of nifty guns and toys.
“Mega Man” is one of the purest of video games. Defeat bad guys. Use bad guys’ weapon on the next bad guy. Repeat until you beat the final boss. The premise of the “Mega Man” games was so solid and so easy to pick up, the formula remained largely unchanged for about a dozen games. More recent iterations of the little Blue Bomber have tried to add some heavy-handed end-of-the-world mythology to the idea of a housecleaning robot absorbing weapons in a certain sequence, but they are off-base and not as much fun. Mega Man is a little baby-faced robot with a gun hand. And somehow, he can be well-loved and kick ass.
3) The T-800
From “The Terminator” (1984)
Sent back in time, the Terminator is a near-indestructible machine, hidden inside a bundle of human skin that looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and programmed to kill one woman named Sarah Connor. The robot, however, doesn’t know what Sarah looks like, so actually bothers to go through the phone book, murdering each Sarah Connor until he gets the right one. Stoic, efficient, and well-versed in weaponry, this robot badass from the future is a horrible foe to have. Sure, the Terminator was reprogrammed to be a protector in “Terminator 2,” but we all know what’s what: Terminators are bad motherfuckers.
The stuff leading up to the finale is all well and good, and James Cameron made a rather notable sci-fi success with “The Terminator,” but the thing that really pushed it over the edge was the tense ending, where the human skin was burned off of the robot endoskeleton, and we get to see the wicked metal creature lurking inside. The Terminator looked like part human skeleton, and part tank. It was scary, but also wicked cool. I recently saw “Terminator Salvation,” and while it was decent for a sci-fi film, I still prefer the relative simplicity of “The Terminator.” And, of course, like everyone my age, the gorgeous visuals of “Terminator 2.”
2) The Robot Jox
From “Robot Jox” (1990)
I’ve mentioned “Robot Jox” before, in my article on imaginary sports, so I’ll try not to expound at too much length, only to say: DAMN! THOSE ARE AWESOME ROBOTS! AND THEY KICK ASS! Seriously. The robot effects in Stuart Gordon’s oddball sci-fi are some of the best I’ve ever seen, and I include “The Terminator” in that statement. The stop-motion animation, at least for me, gives me the feeling that these giant battling robot suits (set in grudge matches to decide international disputes) are really as hefty as they look. Stories-high robots would not, as “Robotech” would have us believe, sprightly and agile. They would be clunky and heavy and capable of killing people when they fall over.
Seriously, man. The Robot Jox. Awesome battle robots. Some of the best.
1) Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots
From the Marx toy company (1964)
Probably one of the best toys ever made, after the Slinky and Silly Putty, Marx’s Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots needs to be given credit, perhaps even more than the aforementioned 1950s pulp novels, as the ultimate origin of battling robots in the minds of several generations. Robots, in many little kids’ experience, are either heartless killing machines, or, more often, benign servants. It wasn’t until we saw those two little arm-swinging plastic robot men punching each other in the chins that we bgane to imagine the possibilities. Robots, we see, are now the ultimate fighting champions, capable of taking one another’s heads off.
“Real Steel” is the logical conclusion of this obsession. Kids who grew up with Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots are now making feature films with cutting-edge computer effects, and recognizable Hollywood actors. Their influence and legacy is still being felt to this day. Heck, here I am in 2011 writing an article about battling robots. Where did that all really start? With Marx. With the Red Rocker and the Blue Bomber. Robots are the champions.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
-Voltron/Gundam/Robotech/Gigantor/Johnny Sokko
-Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go!
-Astroboy
-That thing in “Judge Dredd”
-Kay-Em 14 from “Jason X”
-Transformers/GoBots
-ED-209 from “RoboCop”
-R.O.T.O.R. from “R.O.T.O.R.”
-Number 5, pre-lightning strike, in “Short Circuit”
-The Toy Tanks from “Toys”
-Metalhead from “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”
-The Masked Unit from “Futurama”
Witney Seibold in a benevolent critic robot who runs on solar energy, milk and peanut butter. His refueling tank is in Los Angeles, CA, on the planet Earth, where he is on a continuing mission to research the human race using their movies. His reports back to his alien robot master have been posted on the internet on the website Three Cheers for Darkened Years! He also gives weekly vocal reviews as half of The B-Movies Podcast on Crave Online, and proudly shares his film theories as part of that same site’s Free Film School. He likes kittens and robots, but not robot kittens.
