The Week In Geek: Marvel MMO, Lone Ranger Found, & Superman Not American?
This week’s The Week In Geek is being brought to you by three days of a horrible cold, cough syrup, and about a four hour marathon of LoGo’s reality series Ru Paul’s Drag Race. So I apologize if this is an extra gay edition of this column. Actually, I don’t apologize…I just prepare. Ready to go kids?
Marvel To Unleash New M.M.O. Sometime Soon-ish
Ok, I know I usually don’t report on gaming of any kind in this here column, because frankly I’m not a gamer, and I like to have opinions on things that I know a thing or two about. Plus, I hate being a poser. However, this is fairly big news that crosses over into the comic book realm, so I figured this is something I gotta mention: Brian Michael Bendis, the architect of all things Marvel for the past ten years or so, will be writing the new Marvel Universe MMO, which will allow participants to play their favorite heroes and villains (unlike the DC Universe Online game, where you make your own characters up) In another major difference from DC Universe Online, this game will be free of charge.
According to Bendis, the game will be a combination of continuities and eras, from classic Stan Lee Marvel to Ultimate Universe to the current crop of Marvel Studios films. Bendis also stated that players will essentially create their own online continuity, calling the game, “the ultimate answer to message board bitching. The tagline of the box is going to be ‘Marvel Universe: Now Leave Us Alone,'” Oh Bendis…we’re fanboys. Bitching anonymously is what we do best. No date is given for this game, but seeing as it took the DCU Online game like two freakin’ years to come out from when they announced it originally, don’t expect this one before the Mayan Apocalypse happens.
Superman Renounces U.S. Citizenship, Pisses Off People Who Don’t Read Comics Anyway
Over on the DC side of things this week, In Action Comics #900 which hit the stands this past Wednesday, Superman sent all of Fox News and similar conservative pundits into a tizzy by renouncing his American Citizenship. An icon who is seen standing in front of (or flying) an American flag for decades finally said “Truth, Justice and the American Way are not enough anymore” Of course, Superman’s reasons for doing so were actually very American in my opinion (and the opinion of anyone who bothered to read the story, which is probably no one who is bitching about it) Superman flew to the site of the recent uprising in Iran to stand in solidarity with the protesters for 24 hours, which enrages Ahmadinejad who sees Superman as a representative of the United States. Of course, this pisses the U.S. government off, and they essentially take Superman down to the Principal’s office and ask him to think about what he’s done. Supes thinks about it, and says…well, I’ll let the following panel do the talking.
Mind you, while Superman is no longer an American Citizen, it should be pointed out that Clark Kent still is. The story was written by Man of Steel screenwriter David Goyer, so one has to wonder if this politicaly charged version will be in his upcoming movie. While this news is sure to piss of Tea Partiers and other aging, racist douchebags, (especially now that Obama handed over the stupid birth certificate and they need something new to be angry about) someone should remind them all that Superman was always an illegal alien. It’s not like Jor-El filed all the proper paperwork before he fired that rocket. Once they realize that they can just start hating on Superman retroactively.
The Justice League To Get A Much Needed Avengers Style Push
Speaking of DC, If you look at the Diamond sales charts each month, you’ll notice that certain DC titles are doing better than ever in terms of their sales rankings (both main Green Lantern titles, Batman and Robin , Batman Inc. and Flash are consistently in the top ten) But DC’s once premiere title Justice League of America has been floundering for the past few years, while Marvel has wisely positioned their Avengers franchise of titles to the top of the line, gradually building up awareness of the brand in time for the movie launch in 2012. And for those of you who point out that comic sales are miniscule and don’t matter to the movie studios, think again; if Geoff Johns hadn’t re-built the Green Lantern franchise and made it a fanboy favorite, we might not be seeing a movie this summer. Our love and devotion to certain titles translates into buzz…first from hard core fans to casual geeks, and finally to normies…we are the acorn from which grows the mighty tree. And right now, the JLA ain’t got no buzz to make an acorn. And that’s not good if you’re planning on making a movie franchise out of the JLA in a few years.
Apparently, this is all gonna change after DC’s Summer Flashpoint event. It is heavily rumored that come the Fall, there will be at least three Justice League books, and possibly a fourth. One book will feature the “heavy hitters” who have been absent from the book for what seems like eons…the Big 7 of Superman,Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash (Barry Allen) Green Lantern (Hal) Aquaman, J’onn J’onzz, Hawkman,Firestorm, The Atom, as well as former Teen Titans Cyborg and Starfire. It makes sense for Cyborg to graduate to JLA status, as he is one of the few major DC heroes who is African American who is not derivitive of a more famous white hero (like G.L. John Stewart or Steel) or have a racist ass name like Black Lightning. Also said to be joining is a new mystery human Green Lantern, who is said to be introduced soon.
The other book (announced at the conclusion of this week’s Justice League: Generation Lost mini series) was the return of the the Justice League International. Fans really seemed to dig on Judd Winick’s take on the late 80’s/early 90’s version of the team, and DC is aware that the JLI was the only time the Justice League brand ever had any heat on it without the inclusion of all the big guns. It makes sense to bring them back on a regular basis.
So what are the two mystery remaining JL books? One rumor is that James Robinson’s current League (made up of a hodge podge of former Titans and other DC oddballs like Congorilla and Starman) will continue, essentially being DC’s version of Marvel’s Secret Avengers comic The other rumor is that there will be a JL book set in the Batman Beyond future, with futuristic versions of the League. While I could see that book being a mini series, I’d be surprised to see it as a regular ongoing. But you never know. In any case, it seems those who miss the “real” JLA will be getting their fix come the end of the year.
Johnny Depp Might Have Found The Ranger For His Tonto
You might have heard a year or so back that Disney was not only gearing up Johnny Depp for more Pirates movies, but around the same time they also announced him as Tonto for an upcoming new big screen version of The Lone Ranger (which I’m guessing is somehow not racist ’cause Johnny Depp’s maternal grandfather was Cherokee or something. I dunno, his ass is pretty damn white to me, still seems kinda racist. But whatevs.) So while they’ve had their Tonto set for some time, it seems only now that they are close to finding their lead for the actual Lone Ranger role….and it seems the lucky man is none other The Social Network’s Winkelvoss twins, Armie Hammer.
This could be a huge break for Armie Hammer (not that he needs the break, he’s the great-great grandson of oil tycoon and billionaire Armand Hammer for fuck’s sake. His family has some serious $$) Still, I’m thrilled, because not only is he a decent actor, but I for one am sick of all these short, squirrely guys Hollywood is trying to sell me as new leading men. People like Jesse Eisenberg and Michael Cera, and even Shia LaBeouf and Robert Pattinson. Good actors all, but where are the studs of yore? Armie Hammer is a throw back to when male movie stars looked like Steve McQueen and James Dean. 6’5 of pure sex on a stick. Also, he was almost Batman once, in the aborted JLA movie, so that’s gotta count for something.
Abfab To Return, Gay Men Everywhere Celebrate
Ok,ok… so maybe this isn’t really geek related news, but I’m excited about it God damn it. It seems the BBC is gearing up for a three episode return of Absolutely Fabulous, the seminal Brit-com loved by gay men and fag hags the world over (I told your ass this was an extra gay edition of the Week In Geek. You shoulda believed me) Originally starting in 1992, the original series ran for three seasons till 1995. Then they did a t.v. movie, The Last Shout, and that was supposed to be the end. But in 2001, AbFab returned for two more seasons, and finally a special which aired in 2004. Series creator Jennifer Saunders (who plays Edina Monsoon) said she’d never go back again after that last time. Well, seven years later, and it looks like she’ll be eating those words, as a BBC spokeswoman has said, “We’re putting the finishing touches to the deal to bring it back and as soon as we’re in a position to confirm it we will.” Joanna Lumley, who plays Edina’s partner in crime Patsy Stone, has also let the cat out of the bag and said filming will begin in August. And that was the sound of thousands of gay men in their 30’s and 40’s popping champagne bottles.
