David E. Kelley’s Wonder Woman Pilot Script Reviewed

This week I had the good fortune of getting my grubby little paws on the pilot script for David E. Kelley’s much anticipated (or dreaded) television relaunch of Wonder Woman. This script is dated as December 16, 2010, and it is marked as a first draft, so many changes can happen from now till it gets shot. I imagine at least one more revision is in order here. I’m not going to go into too many plot details here, mostly because the actual plot is nothing to really write home about. It is neither painfully cliché, nor is it really original in any way either. Serviceable is the best word. But if you really wanna know, The long and short of the plot it is this: SPOILERS Wonder Woman fights a corrupt company who are using human subjects as guinea pigs for their own super soldier program. In between action sequences at the beginning and end, she talks a lot with her best friend, does some investigating, and even testifies before the Senate. END SPOILERS. That is the plot in a nutshell. Instead, I’m gonna talk about the characters, the moments, and the overall feel of it, because that is the stuff that I know Wonder Woman fans would want to know about.

Let’s talk the character of Wonder Woman herself first. Here, she has two distinct identities: First one is that of Diana Themyscira, Chairman of Themyscira Industries. The world at large knows that Diana Themyscira and super hero Wonder Woman are one and the same, so they are not really separate personas.  Diana Themyscira is a very public figure, who has a penthouse atop her corporate HQ, along with a fleet of state of the art planes. No real mention is made of what her costume looks like, aside from being “multicolored spandex”. It is definitely not the old Lynda Carter costume, although it is said that she did wear that one back in the day, and there is a scene where the old suit hangs in her closet. Diana also has another identity though, that of mousy nobody Diana Prince. Apparently she achieves this mousiness by wearing her hair in an unflattering manner, using brown contact lenses, and thick Clark Kent glasses. (So in other words, the tv idea of homely) As Diana Prince, she maintains a regular apartment and even has a cat. Apparently, she does this so she can “Be one of the people, not just among the people”  How she manages to juggle being a company big wig, super hero and ordinary plain Jane isn’t something that is really explained or developed, and if I had to guess that something gets dropped by the second draft, it would be the Diana Prince secret identity thing.

The majority of the rest of the cast is a mixed bag from the comic books history (something that actually surprised me, to be honest. I was expecting no characters from the comics aside from Diana herself) We have her Press Secretary Myndi Mayer (a character created from the 1980’s George Perez reboot) filling the best friend role. Also from the Perez run of the book we get inspector Ed Indelicato, now her contact within the LAPD. From the original 40’s run of comics, we get Etta Candy, who is now Diana’s bubbly personal assistant. A new character, Henry Demeter, is the CEO of Themyscira Industries, and seems to be based slightly on the character of Jonah Miller in Greg Rucka’s run on the comic.  The main villain of the piece is Veronical Cale, another Greg Rucka creation, who is essentially her version Lex Luthor. It seems they are setting up Cale as her #1 nemesis for the series, and for a television show this makes sense, as she is more of a mastermind character and ideal polar oppostie to Wonder Woman. And last but not least, there is Steve Trevor, Diana’s ex boyfriend and her reason for coming to our world. He is featured here in the script as well, although not as much as you’d think. There are some new characters too, in somewhat small roles. Diana’s Evidence Team, a trio of Lab Geeks referred to as “The Animals.” They are pretty much cliché science nerds, although at least this time there is a woman among them. I imagine they will have bigger roles as the show develops; they have the potential to be the most annoying characters on the show if done wrong, or fan favorites if done right.

Now let’s talk the the tone of the script. It is not a campy comedy as some feared it would be, but not overly serious either. I suppose the best description is action/dramedy. For those of you who are now instantly turned off by that, remember that is essentially what Buffy the Vampire Slayer was too. There are a lot of moments of humor, and while some work, some really don’t. David E. Kelly (who I will refer to just as DEK from now on, for brevity’s sake) is WAY too reliant on pop songs for humorous effect for my taste. The opening sequence, where Wonder Woman chases a chemically enhanced thug through the streets of Los Angeles, has Beyonce’s Single Ladies playing over it. (yeah, because that song isn’t tired and played out yet) What would be an otherwise fun action scene is ruined by DEK’s tendency to throw in pop songs that are just waay too on the nose, or just the opposite, have no point at all.  The script has a list of songs he wants to use, and valuable screen time is wasted with things like Diana’s crime lab geeks dancing around to Kanye West, or Diana singing along to old Blondie songs on the radio. But aside from some of those glaringly bad moments, I would say the overall tone is consistent and light and fun, although at the same time not really super compelling either. If done right, this could at least be decent popcorn television.

Much like Smallville, this version of Wonder Woman picks from various different parts of the character’s 70 year history; we have Wonder Woman’s classic 1941 origin presented here, in which Air Force pilot Steve Trevor crash lands on Paradise Island, Diana saves him from the wreckage and they fall in love. She chooses to escort him home (there is no mention of the Amazon contest to escort Trevor home, but they are probably saving that for future episode flashbacks) There is also a lot of the modern 80’s George Perez reboot Wonder Woman here too.  Like in Greg Rucka’s excellent run on the book, circa 2003-2006, Diana is a very public figure, with a staff that has to arrange press conferences, run interference with the media, and do things like get her to sign off on likeness rights for lunchboxes.  And as I mentioned earlier, in a nod to her Golden and Silver Age stories, Wonder Woman had the Clark Kent like secret ID of Diana Prince. We do not see her mother Queen Hippolyta in any of the flashbacks, although she does have a photo of her she looks at longingly, along with her sister Donna. I imagine both are intended to show up at some point, at least in flashback. The script describes Paradise Island as being possibly in another dimension and nearly impossible to get to, so sadly the majority of the Paradise Island stuff is probably going to be seen in flashbacks only, at least for awhile.

I’ll admit in my last week’s Week In Geek column, I rallied against much in this script without having read it first.And I stand by all that venom, as reading the actual script hasn’t changed my mind on the things that are just out and out mistakes. However, there are things I dug about this script. So let’s get to the stuff I actually liked first.

The Good

I like that Wonder Woman is a fully fledged super hero from frame one. I was fearful this was going to go the Smallville route, where we spend a whole series about how a character “becomes” a hero, instead of her just being one. Her origin is told in brief flashbacks, but could be even more fleshed out in future episodes. But from the opening scenes, Wonder Woman is Wonder Woman, and I found that refreshing.

A lot of Wonder Woman’s characterization is also  pretty accurate. I would say that Diana as presented in DEK’s script is 80% the comic book character we know and love. Diana is kind, loved by her staff of loyal employees, and much like modern interpretations of the character, is someone who stands up for those who don’t have a voice. She is the champion of the little guy. As Wonder Woman, she is also strong and confident, especially in a fight.  There was a scene at the climax of the script where she takes on twenty some enhanced thugs, and I really can’t wait to see that on screen.  Yes, she is not as strong here as she is in the comics (where she can go toe to toe with Superman) but as far as I can tell, there are no other super heroes in this world to compare her to. Plus, her power levels are comparable to what they were at the time she made her comic book debut, so I can live with it. Not to mention, this is still TV. Even Clark doesn’t fly on Smallville. I can live with Wonder Woman being slightly less powerful here.

The Bad

Almost Total Lack of Magic and Myth

While Diana is still a super powered Amazon from Paradise Island in this script, and she still has her signature bracelets and magic lasso, all these things are left unexplained. She has these attributes because she has to if this show is still going to be called Wonder Woman, but what we don’t know is how she got them, or got to be the way she is now.  No mention is made of the Gods and Goddesses of Olympus, the source of Wonder Woman’s powers. I certainly wasn’t expecting them to have a physical presence in the show, at least not yet or in the way we are used to, but there should be a scene where Diana explains to someone (and therefore the audience) just what the hell these things are and how they work.  I would imagine the world at large wouldn’t believe her, and even some of her friends and employees wouldn’t believe her either. Many would think she was just nuts. (much the same way no one believed Thor was a true Norse God in the original run of Mark Millar’s The Ultimates comic, and thought he was just a super powered looney) But of course we the audience would know she is telling the truth. Plus, it hints at a greater world that could come into play later in the show.

Also, this whole notion that Paradise Island is almost impossible to get to,  and even harder to get back to once you leave it, just sounds like a cheap ass way to not use the island and keep everything in our world. It also sounds a lot like a Lost knock off. Sure, regular joe schmoes should not be able to find the island, but Diana should be able to go back whenever she pleases. It seems that at the end of the pilot script, there are strong hints that Diana is going to try to find a way back home, but it should happen sooner rather than later.

It just feels like DEK feels all the aspects of Wonder Woman’s mythos that are too “comic booky” or fantastic should be dropped. Another way in which he feels ashamed of the comic booky nature of the character is that while Wonder Woman has a fleet of high tech planes, none of them has an invisible stealth mode. Star Trek has been pulling off ships with cloaking devices for years on television, but I guess that is too out there for Kelley. This is a show about an Amazon who gets her powers from Ancient Greek Gods. Either embrace that aspect, or do another show please.

Wonder Woman Is TOO MUCH Like “One Of Us”

There is always a lot of criticism from fanboys that Wonder Woman is too non relatable of a character; she comes from a foreign culture with weird beliefs, and that is usually the go to reason for why they say they dislike her (although I’d say 90% of these same fanboys are OK with Thor, but that is for another column) It seems DEK went out of his way to make his version of Diana “relatable”.  And while that is admirable, unfortunately, he goes too far out of his way, and the result is Wonder Woman doesn’t sound like someone from a strange, far off land at all. She might as well be any American woman. The Diana of this script has been in our world at least for a decade, true. But ask any foreigner who has came to our country in their early 20’s and ask them if they ever feel  100% like they are one of us. Sure, Diana pines for her homeland in portions of this script, but if it wasn’t for certain brief flashbacks, her homeland could just easily be Wisconsin for all we know. She uses phrases like “Lucy got some ‘splanin to do” and “Lets git down to bidness.”  They all sound like phrases someone who grew up her might say, not someone who is a somewhat recent immigrant. These are part of the reasons why I think DEK just doesn’t really get the character 100%.

The Feminist Icon Is A Bit Non Feminist If You Ask Me

This is probably the single worst offense of the script, and why a lot of people are going to hate on it.  DEK’s Wonder Woman is a fierce fighter, an idealistic crusader for the poor and disenfranchised, but when it comes to her ex, she is reduced to a crying, weepy mess. When she first sees her ex love Steve Trevor at a Senate hearing, she gets all weak in the knees (Steve Trevor is no longer a pilot at this point, and is now a lawyer with the Justice Department. David E. Kelley seemingly can’t NOT have a lawyer somewhere in one of his shows) Her guard goes down, and we finally see what it is that makes the mighty Wonder Woman flinch. And all of this is ok. I have NO problem with Diana having a love interest, or someone she carries a torch for. It does humanize her, and if she is going to have a love interest, it might as well be Steve Trevor, who was her male Lois Lane for her first 45 years of comic book history.

No, what is terrible is that at the very end of the script, after saving the day and countless lives, she pulls out Steve’s picture from her drawer, curls up in bed in the fetal position and cries herself to sleep.  All because she saw her ex boyfriend who she broke up with four years ago, and now he’s newly married (which is exactly the same set up for Ally McBeal’s pilot episode by the way) Instead of ending Wonder Woman’s reintroduction to the world on a triumphant note, DEK ends it with her hugging her pillow like a teenage girl. I can only imagine that Kelley thinks that with a beautiful, super strong woman who seemingly has it all, that American women will hate her unless she is seen as not being able to keep a man. But I would like to have more faith in women than that.

In another moment that is mind numbingly sexist, Diana chastises a toy manufacturer of Wonder Woman dolls in order to get him to reduce the breast size on them. Not because having dolls with big tits is damaging to the self image of young girls, but because when people meet her in real life, they are disappointed by the size of her real breasts. Wonder Woman shouldn’t ever have body issues, because where she is from she didn’t grow up with unrealistic expectations on what women are supposed to look like because there are no men.  Plus, where she is from, all the women look the same, more or less.  The whole scene is degrading for a character that little girls are supposed to look up to.

How To Fix It

With some serious tweaking, the basic premise of this show doesn’t have to suck. Yes, having Diana run a corporation is different from her being an ambassador, but in many instances during Greg Rucka’s run of the title, Diana seemed to essentially be running Wonder Woman, Inc. This isn’t that different. Diana’s mission in our world needs to be defined better. Hell, it needs to be defined period.  It seems like in this script, the only reason she came to Man’s World was because she fell in love with a pilot. Sure, in her classic origin, she came to our world because she fell in love, but also to fight the Nazi scourge and preserve freedom. In her modern interpretation, she came to spread the ideals of love and peace to humanity. I find it hard to swallow that her main mission in our world is to just beat up thugs on the streets of Los Angeles. That’s pretty weak sauce. Helping out the police should be her hobby, not her passion. And it is never fully explained just what her company actually does. She is a billionaire, but does she need all those billions just to fund a crime lab? Shouldn’t her company’s primary goal be helping out the needy? Creating clean technologies? Making the world a better place?? Again, another aspect of the show totally ill defined.

And don’t shy away from the magic and mythology aspects. They are what make Wonder Woman who she is. It would be like leaving Krypton out of a Superman show. In the last decade, audiences have embraced things like Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and other things with magic in them.  Sure, there are a large portion of the American audience who still won’t watch anything but procedurals and sitcoms (we call them the CBS viewers) but they are never gonna watch a show called Wonder Woman anyway.

And for heaven’s sake, DO NOT make Diana a weepy mess who turns into a useless puddle on the floor the minute anything having to do with a man she has feelings for comes into play. In many ways, this is the most important thing they need to avoid when it comes to this show, and seemingly the one thing DEK can’t get a grasp on.

The Final Verdict

While aspects of this show could be fixed, my fear is that David E Kelley is totally out of his depth with this series. The action scenes are few, essentially saved for the beginning and the end sequences. His best written scene is where he has Diana on the stand testifying before Congress, and it is clear that this is where DEK’s heart lies. He knows how to write people on the stand, making passionate speeches. But this is an action adventure show, and he can’t have this kind of courtroom speechifying thing all the time. There is no hint at a grander mythology here, no tease of something bigger to get you back the next week, like in the pilot for Alias. Instead, it ends with a woman crying over a guy.

If DEK gets an awesome writing staff, one hopefully made up of people who once wrote for the likes of Joss Whedon and JJ Abrams, writers with some actual geek cred, maybe they could concoct something awesome. DEK simply isn’t geeky enough to know how to do a super hero show right, at least not alone. He gets Wonder Woman’s strong social consciousness, and her take no prisoners warrior attitude, and overall kindness to those around her (I am actually glad he resisted the temptation to make her a bitch in a power suit) but there is still way too much Ally McBeal and not enough Princess Diana of Themyscira.

As a Wonder Woman fan, the success of this show matters to me, because if it fails (which is likely) that is IT for Wonder Woman as a viable property. No future movies, cartoons, etc. The franchise will be considered toxic, and aside from maybe being in a future JLA movie, that will be it. Think they are ever going to attempt another Catwoman movie? She’ll never get her Batman or Hulk like reboot. The same thing will happen with Wonder Woman. So I really hope the writers and prodcuers bring their A Game to this show, and make something that honors the legacy of the most famous female super hero in the world.