Long Box Thoughts: Hellboy, Witchfinder, Crossed, & Hotwire Reviewed
Let me first say how awesome it is to be writing “Long Box Thoughts” for Geekscape. Even though those guys hardly even talk to me on Facebook, I still love ‘em. Whatevs, still chums, right?
This week was a heavy week for me. Like, four books eating away at my credit. No Marvel. I just normally pass that section by. I do have to say, though, that Marvel is winning in the cover art war. Those Deadpool covers always crack me up.
WHAT I DID READ THIS WEEK by Dickson
If Mike Mignola took a piece of paper and drew a cat while blindfolded, I would pay $3.99 for it. Naturally, then, my first thoughts dwell on two books on the shelves this week: “Hellboy: The Sleeping and The Dead” #2 and “WITCHFINDER: Lost and Gone Forever” #1 (Caps intended, this is Witchfinder, yo).
Hellboy: The Sleeping and The Dead
The Hellboy book wraps up a cool story about Big Red and a nest of vampires. The art by Scott Hampton is pretty fancy pants, but it has a lot of humor. The monsters look great and it certainly is a nice change from the heavy inks of Duncan Fegredo in “The Storm”. Not to imply that I dislike those heavy inks. Sorry. Forgive… forgive…
My only complaint is that I’m paying $7 for a 2-part story that will be in a trade I purchase in the future. I got spoiled by entering the Hellboy universe via trades and so am unused to the long wait periods between stuff. Whine.
WITCHFINDER: Lost and Gone Forever
WITCHFINDER takes paranormal hunter/killer Edward Grey to the American Old West (is there any other kind? I see it written like this and being a conformist, I must obey) in search of… well, it’s never clear what he’s looking for. Upon arriving in a mining town, he finds a hag praying in a church, discovers some magic stuff inside and gets yelled at. Then, he goes into a bar to ask some questions and gets yelled at AND challenged to a gun fight, where h shoots some fools and gets yelled at. Then he’s rescued by your average buckskin-wearing Western crazy man – who yells at him. In the end, we kind of get an idea of what’s going to happen, but you know how these books work.
The art is gritty, but not annoying, but the story is almost tangibly frustrating. Again, waiting for the trade? I wish I had the patience.
NEXT ONE NOW PLEASE. Argh.
Crossed: Family Values
Moving away from Mignola-verse I picked up “Crossed: Family Values”
#7. What can I say about “Crossed”? I shall now speak in the language of “Crossed” in order to explain it. Parental guidance suggested in the following paragraphs.
This fucking book is fucked up. A bunch of people get infected by a weird disease that causes a fucking cross to appear on their faces and they go crazy. They rip off their own dicks and wear them as hats.
They rape and eat anything that moves – and not always in that order.
A mother threatens to shove her own daughter back up into her C U Next Tuesday. A (uninfected) dad rapes his own daughter. Babies are shot through the head. Heads explode, Fuck is said a million times and there is a very loving frame featuring a shit coming out of someone’s ass.
In short: Awesomeness. I have to admit I have not read the first “Crossed” series written by the great Garth Ennis, but this series stays true to the Ennis disdain for religion themed out in his other books. This book reminds me of the books my first comic book shop used to keep behind the counter. Books like “Deadworld” and “Faust”… you guys probably don’t remember those. It’s OK. My current shop doesn’t even bother to hide books like that at all – they’re just out there. I love this age in which we live.
Frankly, I’m not sure there’s much to “Crossed” than its shock value.
But, I love artistic freedom and gore and guts. There is also plenty of nudity and a guy wearing his cock for a hat.
Hm. Reading that last paragraph, I think I might be maturing… nahhhh.
I love gore and violence and cartoon nudity. I don’t get my rocks off on it, but I do enjoy the fact that the most violent acts imaginable can be played out safely on paper. So what if kids see it? It’s not the job of comics publishers or creators to educate children. It starts with the parents. I’m more afraid that parents will start reading something like “Crossed” and decide it’s OK to have sex with their children.
Hotwire: Deep Cut
Finally, I received a review copy of “Hotwire: Deep Cut” from Radical. I’m of the mind that I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member, so when someone sends something for review, I usually expect work that is subpar.
That being said (mostly to increase anticipation) Hotwire is amazing.
Looking at the stunning and beautiful artwork, I remembered that I had picked up a Hotwire book sometime last year and was dazzled by the artwork. As this was issue #3 (of 3) I didn’t expect to understand everything. Let me attempt to sum up: A futuristic Natalie Maynes from the Dixie Chicks fights the monsters from “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within” with technology from “Avatar” and “Ghostbusters”. Sorry, I think best with comparison.
The story picks up with Alice Hotwire – Detective Exorcist (futuristic Natalie Maynes) trying to curb the enthusiasm of an invading horde of “blue lights” (ghosts) that are following a ghost in an exo-skeleton who is carrying a woman with a ghost head who is also pregnant.
In the meantime, she also has to deal with a “Blackwater” style private security firm with advanced weaponry, scheming team-mates, an untested proton pa- er… “soul-eater” weapon and her own mental well-being. It’s quite a ride.
Having not read the previous two issues, I can’t give a fair assessment of the story as a whole, but I sure would love to read those first bits of the story… ahem. In any case, the art by Steve Pugh (who also pretty much IS the rest of the creative staff, having written, illustrated, lettered and co-created the book) is absolutely mind blowing. It reminds me of Alex Ross at his most frenetic. The color palette is vibrant and the images of the “blue lights” are really exciting and dangerous-looking.
In short, pick up the first issues of this series (or wait for the trade) if you’re a fan of crazy action with a cute, crazy, “short-arsed” chick in the lead. Plus ghosts. Plus ‘splosions! Great work. I look forward to seeing the past and future adventures of Alice Hotwire.
Did I miss something? Why are you looking at me that way? A British Superman? Are you kidding? The Brits wouldn’t let ANY Americans in the Harry Potter movies! Oh well, Superman’s an alien anyway and it seems to be less and less OK to talk about being an American as something good these days. Don’t even get me started on “The Stand” remake. I’ll slash a screen for reals, yo. Don’t mess with my Bible.
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