Longbox Thoughts: Dickson Reviews Hellblazer and Superior
Anne Hathaway’s hot. Bane kicked the shit out of Batman. Deal with it. Christopher Nolan’s done no wrong so far. Trust the man.
OK, enough of movie-talk.
This week was ANOTHER light week for me. I am so very selective with how I spend my credit. That’s right fools. I work for comics. I don’t have a sign, a golden voice or anything either. Deal with it.
Some people think, “If I had a ton of credit every month at a comic shop I would read EVERYTHING.” Not true. I save most of my money for when the next Fables trade comes out or a new Hellboy library collection or something. I am very choosy like moms and peanut butter. Actually I’m allergic to peanut butter, so bad analogy. I’m choosy like every girl I’ve ever asked out ever. THAT’s pretty F-N choosy.
Anyway, this week I picked up TWO books once again: Hellblazer #275 (DC/Vertigo, $4.99) and Superior #4 (Marvel/Icon, $2.99).
Superior
Superior is the story of a crippled kid who gets visited by a talking monkey in a spacesuit that grants him the powers and appearance of his world’s most popular comic book superhero. It’s like “BIG” with capes and swearing.
In this chapter the boy-turned-superhero gets tricked by a big-breasted, slutty reporter into giving his first on-camera interview. He handles it with incredible media savvy and flies away. Then he promises the president he’ll end the war in Afghanistan and flies away. Oh, and he also inadvertently creates what I assume will be his nemesis by flying a bully to the North Pole to teach him a lesson – then flies away.
It’s hard to hate this book. I kind of really want to. Each issue features heavy fan-oriented content, like ads for shops and – in one issue – an actor’s headshot. Even the character is named after a contest winner or something. The name itself, real or not, always makes me snicker when I see it written. I’m insensitive. Eat me.
But… I can’t hate it. As much as you want me to, I just can’t. I’m enjoying the sort of “what would I do” question posed by the story and the last page of this issue made me laugh – and it’s not just the talking space monkey… though I DO love a good monkey.
They’ll probably slap the first 6 issues into a trade, so maybe pick it up then. It’s shaping up to be cosmically weird, so that’s good. The art is a little heavy, but I got used to it. Leinil Yu can sure draw a nice set o’ bewbs. Just sayin’. It’s a way to pass the time until Kick-Ass 2 #2 comes out in any case.
Hellblazer
In what is probably my favorite single issue of 2011, John Constantine gets F-N married in Hellblazer #275. I’ll ruin it for you. There is a wedding. John and the smoking hot (for a cartoon) Epiphany get married. Of course, they don’t get hitch without a hitch – this IS John Constantine, after all. There are ghosts, demons, more demons, mobsters, the return of Kit and, oh yeah, demons.
I’ve said before that my loyalty to Hellblazer ended with Ennis and Dillon’s run. I never bought another until last year’s SD Comic-Con when the seed was planted to pick up some of the current runs.
Hold on a minute. NOTHING will ever be the same as Ennis and Dillon on this book. NOTHING. The main reason these newer arcs even work is by drawing on the majesty of the E/D runs (I know, that shorthand looks like two terrible health disorders combined. Deal with it).
That being said, this book is my pick of the year so far. It has everything a Constantine fan (?) could want. Current storylines are wrapped up and new ones are forged. The art is very impressionistic but anyone who’s read most of the current runs (I’m thinking of the incredible “India” storyline) is used to it by now. Epiphany has to be my favorite female Constantine character ever (though seeing Kit back made my stomach flip). This woman exists in real life, guys. I know her. You might think you know someone like her. I know her. Perhaps someday I’ll introduce you.
ANYWAY… I never thought I’d see a “very special episode” of Hellblazer, but this is it. If you are a fan, were a fan or are thinking about becoming one, get this issue and perhaps the one before it. You’ll want to backtrack, I promise. I won’t stop bugging you until you do.
I’m a convert and you know how annoying we bastards are hee hee.
To wrap up: I’m tired of light weeks. Let’s get the ball rolling here. If you guys think I should be reading what you’re reading, let me know. I’m easy and open. Just be prepared to be put on the spot if I hate it. I DON’T read “The Ultimates”. Sorry, I tried. Tried and failed? I tried and died.
Post in the comments if you have any. I don’t have a snazzy @geekscape.net e-mail so just go ahead and e-mail Brian or Jonathan with comments, suggestions, recipes, tirades, threats or manifestos. They’ll pass ‘em on, won’t you boys?
PS: Congrats GS on four years. I’m happy to be a part of this adventure and I look forward to someday being invited to the podcast. It was quite a party, from what I can remember.
