Avengers Assembled! Geekscape Casts: The Avengers Movie!

The Avengers movie is now just two short years away and getting closer by the day. Joss Whedon has been brought on to spearhead the production and we’re starting to figure out who a lot of the major players are going to be. But that’s the great thing about the Avengers, it’s not just about the big three of Captain America, Iron Man and Thor. Unlike DC’s JLA, the Avengers are a team that isn’t filled with only all-stars. The Avengers’ ranks have historically been filled out by a mix of heavy hitters and (frankly) second class superheroes. We here at Geekscape decided to take some of the pressure off of Joss and take first crack at casting some of these second stringers. So Joss, kick back! For your reading pleasure we present to you the Geekscape casting round table for the Avengers Movie!

HEROES:

Giant Man/Ant-Man/Hank Pym

Brian Gilmore: A self-hating, eventual-wife-smackin’ genius. We’d need a guy who can essentially play a superhero we don’t fully respect, a genius, and someone we could see slapping his wife (which I’m sure Whedon will play up for all it’s worth). Unlike the classics, though, I don’t think Whedon’s Janet will just sit there and become the victim — it’ll look more like The Ultimates. So, we need to believe this guy’s a little bit of a monster, yet still brilliant. I’m going with Guy Pearce. He’s great at having a dark part of himself he didn’t even know he had, as we saw in Memento, AND we can believe that he’s brilliant since he has an accent.

Guy Pearce

Jonathan London: Greg Kinnear – Whoah. What the hell just happened? Did I just throw you a fastball? Good. Think about it. Cap, Thor and Iron Man have all been cast. Thor is a god. Cap is a man who has been buffed up to superhuman levels by a super soldier serum. And Tony Stark, as buff as he is, uses a suit to deal the damage. Hank Pym? He’s the nerdiest of the four. He uses size and his brain as a weapon and his best friends are bugs. Pym IS the scientist supreme after all and a founding member of the Avengers. You’re going to believe just ANY buff guy is going to ignore his wife to work day and night to be the best in his field AND have time to hit the gym? That’s just not Hank Pym. I’ll take Greg Kinnear, who played an inventor in a failing marriage in Flash of Genius, a flailing husband and father in Little Miss Sunshine and a total bureaucratic creep in Green Zone as Hank Pym, inventor, bad husband and creep extraordinaire. Can you see him inhabiting a lab coat, shrinking to avoid blame and growing supersized to toss Cap around now? Yup. Thought so. See? I’m not that crazy. And if Val  Kilmer were 10 years younger, I’d have put him right here as well.

Greg Kinnear

William Bibbiani: Hank Pym, a son of a bitch with lesser scientific talent than Tony Stark who will eventually take out his aggressions on his wife, needs to be played by an intelligent, good-looking man with a dark streak. Enter Half-Nelson’s Ryan Gosling.

Ryan Gosling

Brian Walton: Giant Douche, Ant Asshole needs to be played by an actor that can be believable as a brilliant scientist, but also take out his aggression on his poor wife. Cary Elwes Can clean up and have a super hero image, but also has the chops to pull off the two faced Hank Pym. I’d buy him as the chummy scientist to everyone’s face but when he goes home he uses his wife as a punching bag. I got to give credit to Gilmore on this though, even though it wasn’t who he settled on, when he mentioned Elwes, an imaginary smack sound rang out in my head. Elwes will be a brilliant hero until the veil is lifted and we get to see him play an abusive douche bag. I don’t mind sloppy seconds, so if Gilmore’s going to pass on him, I’m going to say cast him.

Cary Elwes

Hawkeye

WB – Hawkeye will for many people be an entryway into the group, as one of the few new characters introduced specifically for The Avengers movie. A hothead with a love of danger, Hawkeye will also be one of the members of the team (along with Black Widow and Ms. Marvel) hand-selected by Nicky Fury from his top SHIELD agents to keep the freelancers in line. Since his greatest ability is sharpshooting, an innate talent as opposed to something gained from years of experience, a younger actor well suits Hawkeye. The superstar-in-the-making Ben Foster (The Messenger, 3:10 to Yuma) is my top choice.

Ben Foster

BG – Hawkeye’s one of those iconic Avengers characters that always had a wavering fanbase. We don’t need to please too many people by keeping him blond, but we should definitely do our best to keep him believable.Maybe it was the movie Wanted or something, but I honestly believe that James McAvoy could pull off a perfectly convincing Hawkeye. As kind of a casanova, just a little bit of a dick, but someone that we completely trust. James McAvoy could pull Clint Barton, as a character, off perfectly.

James McAvoy

BW – I’m a traditionalist, I love standard Marvel U Hawkeye over Ultimates Hawkeye anyday, they replaced an iconic costume with a pair of Oakleys. Hawkeye has always felt like a character who has seen a thing or two but manages to maintain a certain level of humor, that’s why I’d go with Timothy Olyphant. He can play grim and balance it with an edgy sarcasm. His turns as the sheriff in Deadwood and a Deputy US Marshall in Justified show he has the intensity to play the purple cowled Avenger.

Timothy Olyphant

JL – We saw him as a cold blooded assassin in the Sin City movie and as a soldier trying to keep things together in Black Hawk Down. Do you think that Josh Hartnett, who is playing a can’t miss dead shot in the upcoming Gunslinger, would back down from Chris Evans’ Captain America? Hell no. And would he sleep with every female Avenger on the roster? Hell yes. I’m a Hartnett fan and a turn as the Avenging Archer would definitely help put him back on the blockbuster map.

Josh Hartnett

The Wasp

WB – I’ve always been a fan of the mixed-race rich debutante Wasp from “The Ultimates,” and I’m going that route here. The fantastically talented Dichen Lachman from Joss Whedon’s “Dollhouse” deserves a big break and I’m going to give it to her here.

Dichen Lachman

BG – Whedon’s Wasp isn’t going to take Pym’s shit sitting down. She’s going to fight back, Ultimates-style, and will refuse to become the victim. It will actually be kind of a feminist cheer moment in the film, I’m sure, and will be remembered for quite a long time. That scene needs to empower one of the only core female characters of The Avengers, which means that this girl needs to be not only tiny, look good in short hair, but still have the chops to be a little quippy. The Wasp also needs to spend all day working with Hank Pym and be believably intelligent (the hardest part about casting in Hollywood, sadly). This is why I’m going with Natalie Portman. Her body-type is perfect, she looks amazing/natural in short hair, brunette, strong woman in a lot of roles she plays, and can pull off quippy quick. Also, the concept of pissing off Natalie Portman is pretty scary in of itself, so when a character in this movie does it, we’ll look forward to the results.

Natalie Portman

BW – A lot of who I want to see play the Wasp has a to do with how I think Hank Pym should act. Trying to always compensate I think he’d go for a younger woman who also happens be a brilliant scientist in her own right. It would be part of his domineering nature. Missy Peregrym (WB’s Reaper) would be a great choice for the super hero we all know is going to be put through the emotional ringer, and then maybe find some solace in the arms of Captain America.

Missy Peregrym

JL – Man… I hate agism in Hollywood. Show me an actress under 30 (nope… make it 25) who can make you believe that she works in a lab all day mastering Pym particles and break your heart when her husband starts smacking her around. Carla Gugino (only 39 mind you and spot on if you cast my Hank Pym) is totally sexy enough to interest Chris Evans’ Steve Rogers (who is a man that doesn’t look his age either) and believable as smart, sexy and in a long term marriage. Just ask  Robert Rodriguez if she doesn’t have the action chops from having worked in Sin City and the Spy Kids movies. Yeah, she’s the original Silk Specter… but as great as she was there, she’d be even better as  Janet Pym!

Carla Gugino

Vision

JL – The poor Vision… Everybody feels sorry for him because he can never truly be like the others. Just like poor Joseph Fiennes from Shakespeare in Love… who can never really be with Gwyneth Paltrow. I think that Fiennes (who’s brother TOTALLY should have been Dr. Doom) has what it takes to play the Avengers go to  “phase through that stuff and mess it up” guy. He can interface with computers, play cold and get emotionally stranded… plus, he JUST LOOKS like the Vision and is super talented! Watch the scenes of him processing his emotions as an outcast in Enemy at the Gates (otherwise a not so great movie) and tell me you can’t read every one of his thoughts on his face. Fiennes is perfect for this role of the sad, loneliest Avenger.

Joseph Fiennes

WB – Created by Hank Pym, perhaps from parts stolen from Kang the Conqueror, The Vision is an android seeking his humanity whose personality is based on Wonder Man’s, meaning his voice should be performed by the same actor – my choice, once again, Nathan Fillion. But to capture the otherworldly nature of his movements the only choice imaginable to play the physical role is, obviously, Doug Jones.

Nathan Fillion

BW – The only man for the role of Vision is Alan Tudyk. Not only can Tudyk shift personalities on a dime (android adjusting/Wonder Man personality assimilation) but he’s also got experience on his side since he played Sonny in I Robot. Tudyk can bring the calm of Vision to the screen perfectly, but also convey a robot struggling with no found emotions.

Alan Tudyk

BG – The best choice for this character by a longshot, in my opinion, would be David Strathairn of Good Night and Good Luck fame. He has the facial structure to make the iconic Vision character work on screen visually, and the acting range to play down, VERY down, while everyone around him is dancing around. His age would help separate him from the cast a little more, even, further creating that Android vibe that we would need out of the character. He’s also pretty tall and lanky, so his body would work in a Vision suit.

David Straithairn

Quicksilver

JL – Man… what a jerk that Pietro Maximoff is. He’s creepy too, always skeeving on his sister Wanda. The guy is downright cocky and unlikable. Sort of reminds me of Vincent Cassell‘s character Kirill in David Cronenberg’s Eastern Promises. Accent? Check. Cocky? Check. Creepy as hell and acting like an entitled little perv? Yup. Vincent Cassell, who also played Francois Toulour in the ensemble  Ocean’s 12 and 13, would run circles around this role.

Vincent Cassell

WB – Quicksilver is a dick, but then you’d be a dick too if the entire world moved as slow as the line at the DMV. The usefulness of his abilities will be offset by his off-putting demeanor, making him a valuable spoiler in the team dynamic, much like Cordelia in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” or, for that matter, Jayne from “Firefly.” With a lanky build and a lot of experience playing an surprisingly sympathetic jerk, I’d cast Jason Dohring (“Veronica Mars”).

Jason Dohring

BW – The hot headed douche with some serious co-dependency issues, Quicksilver gets to be the unlikable pain in the ass that no one likes or understands. A loner, except for his connection to his sister, I’d go with Jeffrey Donovan from Clint Eastwood’s Changeling and USA network’s Burn Notice. He can play a giant dick, but in scenes where it’s just Pietro and Wanda he’ll be able to convey how much he cares about the only family he’s got. And we will completely ignore the Ultimates incest in my dream Avengers movie, thank you.

Jeffrey Donovan

Scarlet Witch

WB – Quicksilver’s sister is hot. Like, really hot. It makes things really awkward for him, and he can’t take his eyes off of her for a second, despite the fact that she’s a powerful sorceress. Yes, that’s right, we’re going with the sorcery angle here – that “probability hex” thing is just a little too confusing, and maybe a lot to confusing, to play to Joe Average. With a slightly exotic look and a lot of talent I’m casting Lizzy Caplan (“True Blood”) in the role.

Lizzy Caplan

JL – Call me a stickler, but I think that if you’re casting a character who was raised by Eastern European gypsies… it’s important that you don’t haul off and cast another midwestern actress and throw her a voice coach (or worse… ditch the voice coach all together). This would be especially tragic since there are a ton of talented and qualified foreign actresses who have already worked on heavyweight films like The Avengers! Lucky for us, Ukranian actress Olga Kurylenko, who was James Bond’s ass-kicking love interest in Quantum of Solace, can handle both big budget action movies and the stars that come along with them. She’d be spot on perfect for Wanda Maximoff.

Olga Kurylenko

BW – While the Scarlet Witch is arguably one of the most powerful characters in the Marvel U, she has always been portrayed as slightly naïve and innocent, even when she was a villain, she was a pawn. Franke Potente has that charming innocence, but also has a bit of fire to her as well, like you wouldn’t want to cross her.

Franka Potente

BG – The Scarlet Witch has to be so hot that you’d bang her even if she was your sister, if we want to like/understand Quicksilver in the movie at ALL. Also, she’s wise, arguably one of the most (if not THE most, because of House of M) powerful characters in the Marvel U, but also has a melancholy to her that Whedon will undoubtedly play up. The person who can pull that off without being annoyingly distant, distractingly “foreign” (a lot of the time foreign characters are given one dimension: that they’re foreign *cough*Nightcrawler*cough*), and still make us feel for her is Morena Baccarin, a.k.a. Inara from Firefly, a.k.a. the lead on that show people only watch because it’s on after Lost.

Morena Baccarin

Black Panther

JL – This one is easy. I remember when Wesley Snipes was rumored to play the king of Wakanda for a few years. We’ll keep him as Blade and stick in Chiwetel Ejiofor, whose roles in Inside Man and Amistad give him an honorable nobility (and whose role in Serenity as The Operative proved that he can kick ass) fit for the king of a nation that has never been conquered.

WB – We need a black man with a regal demeanor, brimming with intelligence, dignity and a hint of danger. There is no other actor but Chiwetel Ejiofor (Redbelt). Moving on.

Chiwetel Ejiofor

BW – Like everyone else, Chiwetel Ejiofor is my first choice, but for the sake of not putting all our eggs in one basket I also want to throw out Tony Kgoroge. He had an eye opening turn as Nelson Mandela’s head of security in Invictus.

Tony Kgoroge

BG – Djimon Hounsou. In a heartbeat. T’Challa needs to look and sound of African descent, for the filmverse, he can’t just be some regular American black guy. He’s going to be running a whole African nation, as well, so we need to believe that the guy will have all the power, yet needs to be a strong enough actor to play the role come to life, not just carbon copied from the comics. I think Djimon Hounsou brings the acting range, the body and the feel that the leader of Wakanda needs in the Avengers film.

Djimon Hounsou

Wonder Man

JL – Jon Hamm‘s got the movie star good looks, the charming smile and the great hair. Who else could give The Vision a total inferiority complex when he walks into the room and makes The Scarlet Witch’s heart go flutter? His stint on Saturday Night Live proves that he’s got a solid sense of humor as well as a “second only to Bruce Campbell” square chin.

Jon Hamm

WB – Since The Avengers will be a public team, public opinion will be an important factor. And since Tony Stark will apparently not be headlining The Avengers as previously suspected, it would be nice to see Wonder Man fall into that leading man role. A superstar actor who happens to have superpowers, The Avengers would give him a nice character arc in which he has to live up to his own fictional reputation. I can think of no better cocky superstar actor than Nathan Fillion (at least, now that Bruce Campbell is a bit too old for the gig).

Nathan Fillion

BG – Wonder Man’s been in the game for a while and would need to be cocksure at all times. Whedon’s Avengers could go wisecracking Wonder Man that belittles everyone around him, OR they could just go with more of a quiet, dick-ish reserved type for the filmverse. To fill that role, I think someone with a sense of entitlement that we still wouldn’t hate would have to step up to the plate. That’s why my pick is none other than the charming man known as Enver Gjokaj, a.k.a. Victor from Dollhouse. He could pull off ANY semblance of “entitled” and still make us love him.

Enver Gjokaj

BW – In my vision for the Avengers movie, Wonder Man buys the farm quick, so the actor who plays him gets to have just a fun quick cameo. Freddie Prinze Jr as a cocky super powered actor who gets in the line of fire when he bites off more than can chew would be funny, and just a little bit of wish fulfillment. And due to his being married to Buffy herself, a bit of nepotism on Joss Whedon’s part might actually get him the job.

Mr. Sarah Michelle Gellar

Rick Jones

BG – Rick Jones is that kid who gets rescued, annoys The Hulk/Bruce Banner, and then eventually gets his own powers for a little while. He’s sort of the everyman character in the franchise and could very well, next to Hawkeye, take the place of the inevitable “Joss” character in the film, as he’s fun, quippy, young and nothing ever works out for him. Joseph Gordon Levitt could take what could easily be a really annoying character and make him likable.

Josephn Gordon Levitt

JL – Jay Baruchel – Let’s face it: Rick Jones is a geek. The master of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Jones followed The Hulk’s big ass tattered coat tails into being a part of the Avengers organization. He was always outmatched, outsmarted and outclassed. But when it mattered, and the four colored crap was hitting the four colored fan in the Kree Skrull War, Rick Jones came through in a HUGE way. Baruchel does an awesome job of playing the out of element savior (as seen in the upcoming The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) and you could see getting pushed around and forgotten by the rest of the big guns until it’s time to save the day. Comic relief? We’ve got that covered in spades.

Jay Baruchel

Luke Cage

BG – Hopefully, the Luke Cage starring Tyrese “Mayhem” Gibson will fall through the cracks and then be re-written and re-cast to include a real badass African American actor: Idris Elba, a.k.a. the dick from The Losers. This guy can be terrifying, believably huge/strong (unlike Tyrese, who’s all lean-mass), yet (given the right script) could easily be lovable. He has a great smile and a good laugh that would translate well into being a hero, yet still have that aura about him that would make you nervous after you told a joke and right before he started laughing. Idris Elba would be an amazing Luke Cage.

Idris Elba

(Editors note: Gilmore calls him African American, but Idris Elba is actually British. I could have corrected it, but it wouldn’t be Geekscape w/o publicly humiliating Gilmore. Also, while this a fantasy casting and I love the idea, Elba is already appearing in Thor as Heimdall, the guardian of Asgard, so the chances of seeing him as Luke Cage are slim. I’ll go with Jonathan’s awesome choice of The Expendables’ Terry Crews instead… but that’s a stand alone movie if we’ve ever dreamed of one!)

Ms. Marvel

WB – Another SHIELD agent given superpowers, Ms. Marvel’s iconic costume and publicity-friendly name contrast strongly with a diehard soldier’s personality. This former black ops agent is going to have a particularly hard time kissing babies and will probably find her heart with the help of one of the Avenger’s many single leading men. The Avengers needs members with combat experience, so I’m skewing a little older and going with Radha Mitchell (Pitch Black) for the win.

Radha Mitchell

JL – Alice Eve – The British actress has all of the obvious physical attributes to play Ms. Marvel… but what about the acting chops?  Well, the folks at Marvel obviously like her, seeing as she narrowly missed out on the role of Steve Rogers’ 40s love interest of Peggy Carter to Hayley Atwell. The only thing fans here in the states have seen her in is She’s Out of My League… but we’re guessing that she’ll have plenty of chances to show her stuff in the upcoming Sex and the City 2.

Alice Eve

BG – Mandy Moore – She has a great body, it’s long enough for any iteration of Ms. Marvel they want to do. She could also play a younger, glasses’d (rawr!) and believably intelligent Carol Danvers. If Scarlet Johannsen is going to be our Black Widow, still, then the age range is set and Mandy Moore is a great under-rated actress that would age perfectly with the franchise.

Mandy Moore

Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk

WB – With Henry Gyrich taken by the X-Men franchise – and already killed off, to boot – The Avengers are going to need a regular government liaison. Enter Jennifer Walters, the awkward legal expert who over the course of the series acquires superhuman abilities like The Hulk’s, albeit without the diminished brain capacity. There isn’t a single awkward woman I’d like to see come out of her shell faster than “Dexter’s” Jennifer Carpenter.

Jennifer Carpenter

BW – If the story of the Avengers movie really is going to be chasing down the Hulk for the first half, including Jennifer Walters is a natural fit. A Shield lawyer is Bruce Banner’s cousin, of course they’d drag her into it. And when she gets hurt during the skirmish a blood transfusion from her cousin will save her. I’d enlist Jessica Biel to be my Jennifer Walters. She can play a smart, nebbish lawyer & also a vibrant green amazon when she gets hit with a dose of gamma.

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Jessica Biel

BG – Much like Star Jones, Jennifer Walters is a lawyer. She’s smart, a little reserved and clumsily sexy. I don’t think anyone with the acting range to bring a little depth to the character would be a better pick than Cobie Smulders. For a small while she was rumored to have been Whedon’s pick for Wonder Woman, so why not bring her over to this franchise to make her another woman of steel? She’d look great in glasses, would be convincing in court, cute when she needs to be and has broad enough shoulders so that I honestly believe she could beat the crap out of me and everyone I know.

Cobie Smulders

Captain Britain

BW – To prove that they aren’t falling behind the Americans in the super power arms race, MI6 will have their own Captain to help God save the Queen. And I can think of no better actor than Colin Firth to be that captain. When clean shaven and looking trim, Firth can cut a fine figure. Put him in Captain Britain’s suit and give me a few clips of him fighting off an attack on Big Ben and I’ll be a happy lad.

Colin Firth

The Sentry

BG – The Sentry is a ticking time bomb of rage and the power of a thousand exploding suns trapped in a severely mentally damaged man who is quietly terrifying, but means nothing but well/good. Ryan Gosling would make the perfect Sentry.

Ryan Gosling

Tigra

JL – You want to put Tigra in the Avengers movie? Not really. I just want to see Vida Guerra dressed as Tigra. Can she even act? Who cares. I just want to see Vida Guerra dressed as Tigra. But wouldn’t that ruin the movie? Not really. I just want to see Vida Guerra dressed as Tigra.

Vida Guerra

BW – At first I thought Zoe Saldana would be great for this role, then I remembered she just came off of playing a cat person in Avatar, so that’s a no. So who should play the spitfire that makes every self identifying furry on planet earth blush? Emma Stone. Tigra has never had a strong identity in the comics, so it’s the perfect chance for her to be molded fresh. Let Emma Stone layer the character with wit and sarcasm while also being agile, and totally hot.

Emma Stone

Triathlon

JL – Dwayne Wade – What are you afraid of? There are tons of awesome super hero movies starring pro athletes! Like… uh… Steel! And… well… Steel! That being said, Dwayne Wade (who you’ve probably seen ribbing Charles Barkley in the T-Mobile ads) is both charismatic and fast as hell. Do we want Triathlon in our avengers movie? Probably not. Is Dwayne Wade a team player? Hell yes. He knows when to take over a game and when to support his teammates (who are usually not all that great). The current 3-D Man (see!?! Now Marvel HAS to put him in the movie! It’s 3-D) would be just the right role for D-Wade to show up, blow our minds with his quick skills for a couple minutes and then let everyone else have their fun. Just like on the 2008 Olympic team. 
Alternate choice: Kobe Bryant. Most people hate Triathlon. See? He’s perfect!

Dwayne Wade

Black Knight

JL – Nobody – I don’t want the Black Knight to ever be in an Avengers movie. But if you have to have him… Orlando Bloom. People like him when he’s got a sword and stuff. But really… nobody want’s the Black Knight in an Avengers movie.

BW – My guess is it will be a Dr. Pepper Promotion for the film. Win a walk on role as the Black Knight. Few will enter, no one will want to win.

VILLAINS:

Ultron

BW – This android, created by Hank Pym, hates daddy and is ready to commit some patricide. Ultron then in turn creates the Vision to carry out his evil plot to kill Pym and the other Avengers. Ultron could be all CG, but his voice would need to be menacing and strong. Mark Hamill could come up with something terrifying for Ultron’s voice. After doing years of voice work as the Joker, does anyone doubt he could do the Avengers greatest threat justice?

Mark Hamill

JL – Joseph Fiennes (Voice) / Doug Jones (Body) – You can’t have The Vision without having his creator Ultron and why not have Fiennes tackle double duty as the destructive Ultron, hell bent on the destruction of the Avengers and Hank Pym? That would be a pretty awesome scene in which The Vision turns on his creator and sends Ultron to the scrap heap. And when you tell an actor to play a diabolically expressive robot, we’re guessing that Geekscape buddy Doug Jones is the ONLY man on Earth who can take that and deliver completely without thinking you’re crazy.

Doug Jones

Baron Zemo

JL – Well look who decided to survive World War 2… It’s Cap’s old friend Baron Zemo. And it’s no lie that fanboys loooooove Terence Stamp after his role as General Zod. But that’s not why I picked him here. Baron Zemo is a mean son of a bitch hell bent on destroying Captain America. Watch Terence Stamp in The Limey and ask yourself if you want someone like that coming for you. No way in hell. Whatever continent he’s on… you want to be on the opposite side of the world. Add the fact that Baron Zemo wears a mask and you’ve got to cast an actor with the kind of intensity to burn you with his eyes. Do a little bit of X-Men 3 de-aging (they’ve perfected that a little since then… right?) for some flashbacks in WW2 when Cap narrowly escapes his clutches, show him taking Nick Fury’s eye out of his head and modern day Baron Zemo is not someone you want to be messing with. And Terence Stamp is right there next to him.

Terrence Stamp

BW – Baron Zemo, evil genius and deceptive mastermind. The first name to come to mind is the brilliant Christoph Waltz from Inglorious Bastards. Yes he’s taken a role in the Green Hornet, but when has that stopped Marvel. He would play evil genius perfectly and then when being evil fails, he’ll pretend to be good to meet his goals, by founding the Thunderbolts. And a spinoff franchise is born.

Christoph Waltz

Kang the Conqueror

WB – Alas, there just aren’t that many great Avengers villains. In fact, many of them are on permanent loan from various members in good standing: Baron Zemo (Cap villain), Loki (Thor villain), The Skrulls (Fantastic Four villains)… and if The Avengers movie is going to stand on its own it has to have an arch-nemesis of its very own. Kang the Conqueror comes closest, even if he did get his start in the pages of FF. This time-travelling warlord was a nobody in the distant future until he stole a time machine and used his knowledge to conquer all the great armies throughout history. Now with countless legions and untold technology at his disposal he turns to the our present to destroy the greatest fighting force ever assembled: The Avengers. It may seem like a sticky wicket to bring time travel into the mix, but we think Joss Whedon is smart enough to follow the old school Marvel “time travel creates an alternate reality” rule, allowing Kang to do whatever he wants and not have to worry about paradoxes, or someone else killing him before he was born, and so forth.
As for who should play him, I’m fond of skewing younger to allow The Avengers to outthink him, despite his obvious technological superiority. Joseph Gordon-Levitt would be just fine, and maybe this could make up for his underwhelming turn as Cobra Commander in G.I. Joe.
(Editor’s note: If we were casting the Young Avengers movie, where Iron Lad turned out to be Kang, I’d be on board with Bibbiani’s casting choice.)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

JL – Saïd Taghmaoui – I love this actor (even if he was in GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra). I first saw him in the French movie La haine when I was in high school and went crazy during the scene in Three Kings when he tortured Mark Walberg as the Iraqi Captain Said. It’s that scene above all else that makes me think that Taghmaoui is perfect for the role of Kang the Conquerer, the Avengers time jumping super villain. Oh yeah… and the fact that Kang was born in the future then went back in time and became a Pharaoh! You think the ancient Egyptians would let any old white boy from the future come in and be their ruler? Even if he did show up in a Sphinx shaped time machine? Hell no. Kang is a frustrated and angry son of a bitch. He hates the Avengers more than anything and will try any time and any place to stick it to them.  Watch that torture scene in Three Kings when he’s zapping Marky Mark’s nuts and tell me that Taghmaoui wouldn’t be a kick ass Kang.

Saïd Taghmaoui

Super-Skrull

JL – Yeah. I know the Super Skrull is technically a Fantastic Four villain. Still… an Avengers franchise is GOING to have a Skrull or two (or empire) show up sooner or later so why not cast someone who kicked total ass last summer as a Romulan in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek? Clifton Collins can do creepy bad guy (as he did in Star Trek) or over the top bad guy (as he did in Crank: High Voltage).  Either way… if there’s a Skrull on screen, I don’t think anybody could inhabit them as well as the incredibly experienced and cerebral Collins Jr.

Clifton Collins Jr

And that’s a wrap! Thanks for reading and how do you think we did? Agree? Disagree? Did we leave anyone out? If you want to play along, tell us your casting choices by adding them to the comments below or going to the forum thread we’ve started here: http://geekscape.net/forum/topics/view/316

Or, Mr. Whedon, you can just ahead and cast your own Avengers movie. Then go make it. We were only trying to help you out a bit!